


Caving In

by An_Asexual_Bunny



Category: Original Work
Genre: Completed, Death, F/F, F/M, Grief, High School, Loss, Mental Illness, NaNoWriMo, Please be gentle, Recovery, Romance, Therapy, a story within the story, ansel elgort as chris langfield, cuba gooding jr as dr frank johnson, different faceclaim ideas, harrison osterfield as miles taylor, herizen guardiola as veronica bacerra, lana condor as juliet phan, lance krall as vinh phan, skyler samuels as megan taylor, this is my baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-08-19 14:13:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 65,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16536113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/An_Asexual_Bunny/pseuds/An_Asexual_Bunny
Summary: After Juliet Phan tried to kill herself, she wants nothing more than recovery. Whether it's medication or therapy, she doesn't mind. What she wants is to get better from it. However, with an ashamed father and demanding best friend, those opportunities seem bleak. Though, life has a way of turning itself around, and it may end up being the people who find Juliet that point her in the direction she needs. Between normal high school and a fantasy world, Juliet hopes to grow from what has happened to her.





	1. Chapter One: A New Method

**Author's Note:**

> This is my project for nanowrimo and it's the first time I've done an original work in awhile! Please give me your feedback because it's greatly appreciated and I would love to talk to you guys! Don't be shy!

Juliet glanced at the window to catch the reflection of the clock behind her. There were still fifteen minutes left in her session. She wasn’t paying attention to the time because she wanted to leave. It was the opposite in reality, but at the same time, all Juliet could think about was how far behind in her classes with every second she heard the clock tick. When Dr. Johnson waved a hand in front of her face, she blinked, snapping out of her thoughts.

“Um… Juliet, did you get that?” asked Dr. Johnson, clicking a pen.

Juliet sighed a bit and shook her head, tucking her hair behind her ear, “No, um… sorry, could you repeat it?”

“I was asking if you felt these sessions are being helpful? I know that you were the one who chose treatment, not your father, but I want to ensure I’m providing adequate treatment,” he explained, glancing at his notebook.

Juliet quickly nodded, “Yeah, of course! I mean, I know I should probably be on some sort of medication, but this is the closest thing. And I-I do want to get better after everything.”

“Perfect! We’re on the same page, so I’ve been thinking of a method to improve your mental health,” he started, a grin forming on his face.

She tilted her head to the side, “Um… what’re you meaning? Are you trying to suggest yoga or something?”

“No, not at all. Though, that could potentially help you as well. I feel that your main problem is you let yourself get overwhelmed by everything, no?” he asked.

“Oh, you have no idea. I mean, after this I need to get my government, lit, and calc homework done. And then Megan wants me to help her, which really just means she wants me doing her homework for her while we get some coffee or something. Or she wants to plan her damn Halloween party, but I also can’t say that she’s bothering me because she’s the only friend I’ve got,” Juliet paused, taking a deep breath.

Dr. Johnson slowly nodded, “I feel that you could benefit from a sort of journaling to keep your thoughts together.”

“Oh jeez, you’re not meaning I have to write down everything in my life, right? Because that’d be a memoir and I just write creative stories to get away from all that,” she said.

He nodded again, “Right, so I was thinking that you could write about yourself in a creative setting. Whatever you want. Fantasy, space opera, Greek-mythology-esque epic, anything you can think of. Something to help you process what happens around you.”

“Actually… that’s not too bad. I don’t have to read it out loud, do I?” Juliet asked, playing with a loose thread in her sweater.

Dr. Johnson smiled a bit, clasping his hands together, “That was the part I thought you’d be against. You don’t have to read it out loud, but I would like to read it. Think of it… like I’m your editor and helping you to make your story better.”

“Or I can just write it and read it in Vietnamese. Because you don’t know that,” she said, giving the man in front of her a pointed stare.

He sighed a little, shaking his head, “Then your father will have to read it and translate it for me during our family sessions.”

“Right… English it is,” she grumbled, seeing that her session was over.

Dr. Johnson shrugged, “It’s up to you, isn’t it?”

“You know it’s really annoying when you do that, Doc,” Juliet muttered as she got up from her chair to leave the room.

Where was she even supposed to begin? Plan a story that was based around her life? It was intriguing, sure, but she had no clue what she would create. Especially when she knew other people were going to read it. More often than not, people didn’t read her writing. Of course, her English teacher claimed her essays were golden, but that said nothing about her ability to plot or make compelling characters.

Only, the characters were right in front of her. Everyone she knew was a character of their own. The real problem was placing herself. Where did she belong in the world she was beginning to formulate? She had no clue where she belonged in the real world. Maybe she had friends, and maybe she did well in school, but what did that mean to a fictional universe?

A part of her wanted to run back to Dr. Johnson’s office and tell him she didn’t want to try the journaling. Only, by the time the urge truly came over her, she was opening the door to the parking lot to get to her father’s car. The brisk, autumn breeze was barely blowing in the air, but it was enough to leave a chill on her tanned legs.

It was late into October, but Juliet still wore a maroon skirt with her cream-colored, knit sweater. Her flats hit the asphalt as she rushed to her father’s car, opening the door and sliding in.

“How was therapy?” he asked, starting up the car.

Juliet shrugged a little, “It was fine, _Cha_ , it’s actually very helpful.”

“It is shameful. You get seen, people talk. You bring even more shame,” her father replied, shaking his head as he drove.

Juliet bit her lip, staring at her wrists attentively, “No one saw me. If anyone from school goes there, they go at a completely different time.”

“Good. We need no more shame on this family,” he insisted.

Juliet pursed her lips and said nothing else. If she said anything more, she wasn’t sure if she would be able to take it back or not. It was easier to keep everything in her head. Things were easier if she simply kept her mouth shut. The longer she was around her father on his own, the more she realized that for herself.

Was easier better? Was it better for her? Was it better to say nothing simply to keep from arguing with the only other person she lived with? She was unsure. Those were thoughts that always seemed to slip her mind when she was in the office with Dr. Johnson. Frank Johnson always knew what he was doing, even during the family sessions. Sessions where it felt like Juliet was walking on eggshells the whole time. Why Dr. Johnson never mentioned it before, she was unsure. Maybe it was just him waiting to see if she would be bothered enough one day to finally say something about it.

That was how everything worked. It was the only way Juliet had ever seen things work. Keep everything bottled up and maintain a calm demeanor no matter what was said, and everything will be fine. Well, until things stopped being fine. Things had stopped being fine twice in her life, and she wanted to work through everything in a way that would make it so she would be fine.

When her father pulled up to the house, Juliet walked to the front door of the small house and picked up her backpack from the living room to take it to her room. Whether she was going to get anything done or not, she was unsure. If nothing else, she could get started on the exercise that Dr. Johnson wanted her to try.

If nothing else, Juliet knew that her father wouldn’t walk into her room and bother her. Not when he would be convinced she was studying. He felt that was the most important time in her day. That she needed to finish her education quickly and come up with a future quickly as well.

What no one bothered to realize was that Juliet hadn’t counted on making it to her last year of high school. That she had no idea where she was going. The future was easily the most daunting thing facing her with all of its dark corners and blurred lines. Juliet didn’t know what she wanted to do after school. Why her father was pushing for her to graduate so early, she was unsure. It was a question that seemed to vanish from her mind because it was shadowed by her father worrying about saving face with the neighbors.

The neighbors who were somehow oblivious to most things that happened in their little house. It wasn’t that they were bad people, just oblivious. Maybe the slightest bit self-absorbed, but in Juliet’s experience, everyone turned out to be like that one way or another.

Juliet started off reading some of her government textbook, ignoring the constant light of her phone blinking with notifications. They were likely from Megan, who probably just wanted to meet at the mall and talk about her Halloween party which was days away.

It wasn’t staring at her phone or messing around on her laptop that kept Juliet distracted from the work she was supposed to do, but it was the fact that she couldn’t stay on one train of thought for more than two minutes. She was beginning to realize why Dr. Johnson kept thinking that she needed to sort out her thoughts. Minds were made up of too many neurons to count, but it felt like hers were far more scrambled than the average person. Maybe that was true, but she had no way of knowing.

So instead of continuing to stare at some page about the Continental Congress, Juliet found a blank notebook and picked up the ballpoint pen.

_October 27th_

_There appears to be one kingdom in this world, and if anyone rules it, it would be Megan. Granted, she is only the princess and does not have the true power that a queen does, but no one ever tells her that. Especially not me, I’m practically her servant. Only, I get things out of it. Be it clothes or some form of popularity, so I suppose it’s more of a lady-in-waiting situation. Either way, Megan acts as though I don’t have a life of my own._

_Which, I suppose is true. Well, it’s supposed to be true._

_However, there are things about myself that must stay secret. I have abilities which I’m forbidden from telling anyone about. You see, I live in a kingdom where magic is forbidden, supposedly. Whether that’s true or not, I’m unsure. My father is convinced of it, though, so to appease him, I must keep my lessons secret._

_I lost control of my magic one time, and that one time was enough for me. The last thing I wanted was a repeat incident, so I insisted on lessons. Something to ensure my sorcery would be under control. I don’t necessarily want to get rid of my powers all together, but I feel that if I can master what I have, I will be better off for it._

_Megan doesn’t realize any of this, of course, and she believes my lady-in-waiting duties to be the most important thing. I would have to disagree, but I suppose it also may be out of my hands. As long as magic is illegal, I won’t be able to tell anyone. Least of all Megan._

_If nothing else, there’s Frank. He teaches me to control my powers. Even though I will never be able to fully get rid of them, I can at least learn how to use them._

Juliet paused for a moment, looking over the black ink that contrasted with the white paper behind it. Aside from teaching her to be a sorcerer, how else could she make Dr. Johnson out to be a fantasy character? Where did he fit in? Particularly if Megan knew nothing about him. She sighed in thought, tapping the pen against the paper.

That was when an idea hit her and she smiled a bit.

_While Frank is a centaur, he continues to be extremely helpful with everything. If anything, it is better that he’s a centaur. That way he can remain in the woods and far away from Megan and her nosy eye. I worry she’ll find this journal and figure everything out, but as long as I’m careful, I’m sure everything will work itself out._

_What won’t work itself out is that damned Halloween ball. She insists on inviting everyone to her castle. Well, minus the people who she finds to be insufferable. Something we have two extremely different definitions of. Not that I can complain, technically I can leave her service whenever I please. I just haven’t done it yet. Why that is, I’m not sure._

“Juliet, come eat!” her father called.

She clicked her pen so it retracted and she left the room, going to the kitchen to see what was for dinner. It was likely the leftover takeout from the previous night. Not that she minded. The family who owned the Vietnamese restaurant a couple blocks away were genuinely nice people. They cooked great food as well. Though her father always claimed otherwise, yet they still went.

Both of them grabbed bowls from the cabinet, filling them with the phở they ate last night. Juliet took a spoon from the drawer and then sat at the table, blowing on the soup so it would cool off. Dinner had to be her least favorite meal of the day. Ever since it was just her and her father, things had become infuriatingly dull. Always the same questions were asked, and she always gave the same answers. Whether they were true or not didn’t matter.

“Do you have the homework done?” he asked before eating some of the soup.

Juliet nodded, blowing on her soup again, “Yeah, just need to finish up a couple of problems and then I’m good.”

“You keep up on the work like this, a big university will want you,” he responded, smiling a bit.

She forced a small smile, “Right, yeah, just finished sending off applications, so that should be done.”

“Good, I want you going to a big university and to get a degree that will make you lots of money,” he said.

Juliet’s smile faded, “You know, money isn’t the only thing I’m worried about.”

“What else is there to worry about if you can’t feed yourself or take care of yourself when you get out of school. I will not allow you to get a useless degree,” he insisted, eating more of his soup.

The truth was that Juliet didn’t know what she wanted to do when she went to college. Yes, she had applied to a few colleges, but she didn’t know what she was going to study. Besides, people changed their majors all the time, surely she wouldn’t be the only student who had no clue what to do.

However, it felt that her father didn’t realize that. There were many things he didn’t realize. He didn’t realize that people weren’t going to shun her simply because she had a therapist and because she had other issues. He didn’t realize that they weren’t shameful simply because her mother had passed away. It was obvious that he wanted what was best for her, but Juliet could tell that he didn’t know what that was.

“I think you should go into engineering,” he suggested.

Juliet nodded, “Yeah, maybe I’ll do that.”

Truth of the matter was, she had done Megan’s math homework so many times that she coudln’t stand the thought of ever seeing another number at the end of most days. If the complications of integrals and derivatives taught her anything, it was that while she was good at math, she hated it. The problem was that what she truly enjoyed was what her father considered useless and a waste of time.

Her mother had always encouraged stories and reading and writing, to be immersed in the cultures around her. However, her father felt that any moment she wasn’t working on a scholarship application or homework was a moment wasted. He felt that seeing Dr. Johnson was risking their family’s honor. As if a man and his daughter could possibly be considered a full family.

It wasn’t that she hated her father. That couldn't be further from the truth. At the end of the day, he was the only family she could reach. Everyone else was back in Vietnam and her father refused to visit or let Juliet get a passport in case she got the idea to go over there. Something which she thought was cowardly, but knew she could change the moment she turned eighteen. Still, he was all she had to link her to a country that so many people claimed was supposed to mean everything to her.

They were also the only ones who had lost the only other person who had been in their small family. Juliet’s mother had died nearly two years before, and it was obvious that her presence was still missed. It was an unspoken rule to never put anything on her mother’s side of the table. Her father never mentioned it before, and Juliet never said anything either.

Most of their true communication was done by unspoken acts rather than talking. Something that Juliet wished could change, but even family therapy wasn’t changing anything in that aspect of things. A part of her wished that she could just suddenly start telling her father everything. Everything that bothered her and everything she wanted to do. However, she also knew that he saw that as disrespectful.

She had learned that quickly when she befriended Megan. Well, it was more that Megan befriended her. The way Megan would ask for things from her parents in such a brash manner was something her father made very clear would not be tolerated.

Once she finished her soup, Juliet wiped her mouth, “I’ll get started on the dishes.”

As the water on the tap ran, Juliet started trying to think of where everyone else fit into the story she was creating. Obviously if Megan was a princess, that would have to make her twin brother, Miles, a prince. Then there were the two people she tutored during study hall, Chris and Veronica, and she had no idea where they fit. How far would her magic that she had created be able to go in that world? She hadn’t spent nearly enough time on worldbuilding in the first place.

She scrubbed at the soapy dishes, thinking of how everything would fall into place. It was supposed to be a unique idea, not something she was supposed to freak out over. Besides, Dr. Johnson wouldn’t be one to criticize her work when he just wanted to see how she was organizing her thoughts.

Once the dishes were finished, Juliet went back to her room and checked her phone. There were several missed calls from Megan, so she called back.

“Ugh, finally, Julie! You took, like, forever. I swear, I can’t depend on you for anything!” Megan exclaimed.

Juliet’s nose wrinkled a bit at the nickname she had never quite gotten used to, “Sorry… I was doing my homework, and… and you know how my dad is.”

“Whatever, I got it all taken care of. You owe me big time! I had to figure out all the invites for the party. It’s in a few days and you better be there. No dumb homework excuses, okay?” Megan demanded.

Juliet bit her lip, looking over at the notebook again, “Yeah, right, no homework. Got it.”

“Speaking of homework and you owing me a favor… did you get that calc stuff done?” Megan asked.

She tried to contain the exasperated sigh that threatened to be breathed out, “Yeah, what about it?”

“Um… were you born yesterday?! I want you to do that for me! After all this planning, I’m so exhausted. You better do it,” she said.

Juliet bit her lip before speaking again, “Right, got it. I’ll have it for you tomorrow.”

“Perfect! You’re the best Julie! Now, I gotta go… I can barely hear you over Miles’s music… _Miles turn that shit off now! I’m trying to talk to someone!_ ” Juliet had to pull the phone from her ear when she heard Megan yell.

Though what Juliet could vaguely hear in the background had to be Miles turning up the music to whatever it was he was playing. {As far as Juliet could remember, she had never had a real conversation with Miles despite having been friends with Megan for years. Something about him always told her that he was only going to end up being exactly like Megan, and Megan was the type of person that Juliet didn’t want to see duplicated.

“Um… bye,” Juliet said before hitting the end call button on her cellphone.

She pulled out the calculus textbook and started to get through the problems given. It all made sense to her, but that didn’t change the fact that it all felt tedious to her. Especially when she knew that she would have to do it all over again for Megan’s sake.

It wasn’t her fault that she had better things to do that didn’t include planning some silly party anyways. She knew that Megan would have just made her do all her work anyways. It simply would have been a different excuse.

However, continuity mattered to Juliet, so she maintained a friendship with Megan. It was their last school year anyways. Rather, Megan was an actual senior. Juliet was simply graduating earlier than everyone else. Either way, Juliet only had to be around Megan for less than a year. After that, she had nothing to worry about. She would have no reason to worry about sitting alone in college. It wouldn’t matter because she would finally get to do what she wanted. Whether people felt she was being trendy or not. The thought of getting away from her father and Megan were both rather enticing ideas.

Simply getting through the year was the only thing Juliet wanted. If she could just have Dr. Johnson there to tell her different things that could help her through everything, she was positive that she could get through everything. She was positive that her mother would be proud of her if she could just get through the remaining school year.

Keeping those thoughts in her mind, Juliet finished the rest of her homework. She looked over at the clock on her nightstand, seeing that if she didn’t get to sleep soon, she would end up regretting her life choices the next morning. With that in mind, she set out some clothes for the next morning before she turned off her light and went to sleep.


	2. Chapter Two: Party Planning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Normal life can prove to be challenging, but maybe thinking from another perspective can help with coping.

 Once Juliet arrived inside the doors of her school, she found herself wishing to go back to her house. Not for any particular reason other than the lurching feeling in her stomach over the thought of seeing Megan. It was bad enough having to hear her snap at her over the phone the previous night, but she didn't want to have to deal with that happening again in person. A part of her worried about what she wanted from her that day. Particularly when she started to smile sweetly at Juliet.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm so glad you decided to make it, not having another one of those sick days, are you?" Megan asked, her head tilting to the side.

Juliet shook her head, some of her black hair falling onto her face, "No, I'm good today, what do you want?"

"Funny that you assume that I want something. Why in the world would you think something like that? I just want the homework that I asked for yesterday. You got it done, right?" Megan asked, twirling some of her blonde hair around her manicured nails.

Juliet nodded, reaching into her backpack to find her math notebook, "Yep, got it right here, you should be just fine," she said, handing Megan the paper.

"Perfect! You always do so well when I ask! Now, speaking of asking..."

Juliet couldn't help blocking out what was being said. It felt like it was always the same thing. Megan probably wanted her to go out on some sort of errand which was only supposed to be revenge for not talking to her last night. Not that it was Juliet's fault. At the same time, wasn't it her fault? She could have chosen to pick up the phone and then leave with Megan. Her father would have most likely let her as long as she was back early enough. Maybe she should have done more, and maybe she should have been a better friend.

Suddenly, Juliet was hearing the same ticking from the clock that was just a few feet above her from where she was sitting in the cafeteria before school started up. The ticking kept going and so did the sounds of what everyone else was saying. Even Megan's, though that was just a constant drone. Well, maybe not a drone, but rather a constant squeak of how everything was important when it involved her.

Megan tapped on the cafeteria table loudly with her bright pink pen. It was a sound that clearly wasn't constant to the rest of the world around her. Quickly, Juliet looked up and blinked.

"S-sorry, I was just... I was just thinking," Juliet said, pushing some of her hair behind her ear.

Megan rolled her blue eyes, "Yeah, obviously. What was it exactly?"

"Well, um... you see it was a-"

"If it wasn't about the party, it doesn't matter. We're focusing on this for right now," Megan insisted, going back to a small notebook.

She held back a sigh before nodding, "Right, what do you need?"

"Well, now that you're paying attention, I need you to coordinate costumes with me! You never dress up," Megan said with a small huff.

Juliet stared blankly, "Well... I dressed up... like, two years ago."

"Yeah, sure, but you haven't done anything like that since your mom died. It's been, like, two years. Shouldn't you be over that by now, sweetie?" Megan asked,looking back at Juliet.

Sentences like that were what made Juliet if she really was the weird one in the situation. Maybe the problem had been her the whole time. Maybe she should have just kept her mouth shut and pretended to listen in the first place. Was she the weird one for still missing her mother? Was it a bad thing that she was still grieving? Was she supposed to get over everything that had happened? Had she overreacted when she had-

"You're doing it again! God, I might just need to find someone else to do this for me. Miles!" Megan called out, gaining the attention of her twin.

When Miles looked over at her, he rolled his eyes before walking over to her, "What is it, your highness?"

"You know, you think you're being clever with that, but you're really not," Megan said, rolling her eyes again.

Miles let out a chuckle, "You roll your eyes any harder, they'll roll right off of your face."

Juliet raised an eyebrow, "Th-that's scientifically impossible, you know that right? I think you know, but if you don't, then it's very important to me that you know that."

"Julie, who said you could talk? Especially when you're obviously not listening to anything I say," Megan said.

Miles smirked a bit, "No, no, let your friend speak, I think she's actually starting to figure out how to have a personality aside from being a mindless drone."

"You know, I'm, like, one of the top people in the class, right?" Juliet commented.

Miles shrugged a bit, "So? So's Megan, but obviously she doesn't do her own work. Maybe you're a human calculator, but I doubt you can take a joke."

Juliet frowned a little bit, dropping from the conversation. A part of her wondering if they knew, would they treat her the same? If she just threw out everything her father said, would they finally start to treat her like a decent person?

It wasn't that Miles manipulated her by any means. They barely talked, but when they did, he made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with her. Why that was, she was completely unsure. What she had done to earn his disdain, she had no clue. A part of her wondered if it was just because she was friends with Megan.

Which, in a way, was more than understandable in her opinion. Megan was completely insufferable, and she could only imagine that those around her wondered why Juliet stayed around. And if she did stay around Megan, what did that say about her personality? Perhaps, she wasn't as different from Megan as she liked to make herself think.

The bell rang, once again jarring Juliet from her thoughts.

"Jeez, you're right, she really does do that a lot," Miles remarked.

Megan shrugged, "Yeah, but she got my calc work done. Also! Julie, be a dear and get these out to as many people as you can!"

"Didn't you put these on facebook or something?" Juliet asked.

Megan laughed, "Yeah, but it looks a lot more official if they get a hard copy. You know who not to invite, right?"

"Yep," Juliet responded, popping the p.

When she got to her first class, it was almost like a breath of fresh air. Simply because she didn't have to sit there and listen to Megan go on about everything going on. And then she didn't have to hear Miles comment on every single thing that she did. Not that she minded. If she had to choose a twin to pull from a burning building, she would likely choose Miles.

He always seemed to know more about what was going on than Megan. Not that Megan was dumb, but he seemed to be less upfront about being manipulative towards her. Instead, he made it clear that he could barely stand her. Something that she felt was far better than Megan constantly ordering her around like Juliet was her slave.

Granted, she felt that he had a point when he called her a mindless drone. She often times did whatever was asked of her without question. Though, no one ever seemed to care about why she didn't always say a whole lot. Or why she often decided to stare off into space. Or why she had disappeared in the middle of summer.

Bend wasn't a small town by any means, so no one questioned her when she seemed to dip off the face of the earth. If anyone had, her father would have made her lie about it anyways. Simply because family shame was too much to bear. Even though, she wondered if it was really her fault that everything went the way it was going.

The teacher started to lecture, and Juliet found herself jotting down notes, just wanting to make it through her first period of classes. Just so she could go on to her tutoring period. It was the one class that she actually didn't mind the people she shared it with.

Chris and Veronica were far from the dumb imbeciles that the teacher had claimed them to be. They weren't conventionally smart, Juliet could tell that much. But they did know their way around the world. Sometimes they ended up teaching her things instead. Not that she minded. It was almost therapeutic in a way, to see people who actually wondered why she did the things that she did.

"Hey, Juliet, you good?" Chris asked, frowning a bit.

Juliet blinked and nodded, "Yep, yeah, we're good, now... where were we?"

"Um... problem eight, but I think we should take a break," Chris suggested.

"Yeah, I say we ditch the rest of the period. Come on, the librarians never pay attention to who stays and who leaves this place and you know it," responded Veronica.

Juliet sighed and shook her head, "No, someone would find out, knowing my luck. Let's just... let's just try to get through the rest of this and see how far we get."

They looked over the algebra problem again, but to no avail. Juliet couldn't concentrate long enough to be of any kind of use to anyone else, and the other two students didn't seem to know what they were supposed to be doing either. Granted, that was evident by the fact that they even needed a tutor in the first place.

"Okay, we need to at least admit that we're not getting anything done today," Veronica said, crossing her arms.

Juliet shook her head, "No, if you just take x and...chết tiệt, I forgot to do my English essay!"

"Well then do that instead," Chris suggested, "It's not like we're getting much done at the moment."

“No, no, it’s fine, I know I really need to help you guys,” Juliet replied, twirling some of her black hair around her finger.

Chris chuckled a bit, “Hey, don’t worry, we can get the math stuff done later, you know that. We won’t snitch just because you needed to get some stuff done in another class.”

“I should be help-”

“Nope, I’m with Chris, write,” Veronica insisted, ripping a piece of notebook paper from her math notebook and handing it to Juliet.

Sighing, Juliet went to work on her essay. Normally she didn’t freak out over every single thing. Well, she didn’t always do that. It was more of a recent thing, something that had come up more often after her mother passed away. Maybe it was even before then, but she couldn’t remember for certain. What she did know was that she owed Chris and Veronica big time.

Although, something told her the main reason they prompted her so was simply for the fact that neither of them wanted to actually work on their math homework. Not that she blamed them. Half of the time they ended up getting her off topic anyhow. Still, she knew that it was helpful for them because their grades had improved. It was one of the handful of things that she prided herself on.

Overall, Juliet didn’t see a whole lot to be proud of. Many said that she should be proud of her good grades, but that was just an expectation and a way of life. Priding herself over graduating or applying to college or doing well in school was simply praising mediocrity in her mind. Then the things that she really felt were worthwhile for her were often overlooked by her father. By extension, everyone else looked over the things she enjoyed too. Maybe that was why the summer had turned out the way it had. It definitely was something that factored into meeting with Dr. Johnson once a week.

The classes came and went, the invitations that Megan handed her at the beginning of the day rested in a pocket of her backpack which had been untouched the whole day. Once lunch came around, Juliet found herself feeling like she needed to sleep. Another feeling which hadn’t always been there, but had been around since her mother passed. She couldn’t remember a time where she didn’t want to just go home and sleep. Or be in her room so she could finally do something that she enjoyed.

And despite the fact that her stomach wasn’t hurting or grumbling in any way shape or form, Juliet tried to shove a chicken sandwich from the lunch-line down her throat. She hadn’t eaten all day, but she just wasn’t hungry. That was the main reason she would forget to eat. No one reminded her to eat something and she rarely felt hungry. If anything, she felt more like she was constantly going to throw up. Though, she had gotten used to the feeling.

“Julie! Just who I was looking for. Did you get those invites out?” Megan asked, a sickeningly sweet voice coming from her pink lips.

Juliet’s dark brown eyes widened, “Shit… I’m so sorry, I was so busy that I forgot, really I’m sorry. I can get them out later I-”

“Can’t you do anything right in your life?! I swear, you’re so damn useless, I don’t know why I keep you around. You can’t even remember to give out some silly invites. They’re not addressed to anyone, just hand them out. It’s so  _fucking_  simple, Jesus Christ!” Megan exclaimed, rolling her eyes.

Juliet sank back in her seat, “Seriously I-I didn’t mean to forget, it’s just-”

“Did I ask? Did I fucking ask why you weren't handing out any of my invites? No! You wanna know why? Because I couldn’t care less. Go, hand them out right now. That way, you won’t forget,” Megan snapped, shaking her head.

Juliet looked at the chicken sandwich, finding it to be less than appealing, “But I was eating… I didn’t have anything for breakfast.”

“You could use less calories anyways. It’s not like you hit the gym, Julie,” Megan pointed out, “Now go, hand those out.”

Juliet frowned, looking at the ground. It was obvious that she wasn’t going to be getting anywhere with Megan any time soon, so she wordlessly took the invitations out of her bag.

With that, she made her way to the different tables, handing out the invitations. Something that was leaving her feeling shaky. She didn’t have any food in her system and it was starting to show with just how jittery she started to get.

As much as she tried to avoid it, she ended up having to go to the table that had Miles sitting there. She knew that he hated that Halloween party just as much as she did, but likely for different reasons.

“What the hell are you doing over here,  _Julie_?” Miles asked, mocking his sister’s tone.

Juliet gave a small shrug, “Figured you’d like to be invited to the Halloween party that’s at your own house. But if not, that’s cool too.”

“You really are a fucking drone, aren’t you?” Miles responded, laughing a little.

Once again, Juliet shrugged wordlessly and left the invitations at his table. If nothing else, she knew that she wouldn’t have to deal with him later on. Normally they both just avoided each other. Megan was already more than enough to be around, she didn’t want to have to stick around Miles for any longer than necessary.

The thought of only having to endure months of being around Megan was starting to be too much to think about. Was the continuity really worth it? She was unsure. {A part of her wondered why continuity even mattered to her.

Then she remembered that if she didn’t have Megan, she would lose a lot more than she could afford to. She would lose the closest thing to a friend that she had. Though, Juliet wasn’t even sure what that would mean.

It wasn’t that she didn’t know what good friends looked like, she had the vaguest idea from reading books and from seeing everyone around her. At the same time, she wondered if people were like that because she had never been all that close with anyone.

Books would depict relationships of all kinds as though they were some amazing thing where everyone was happy. Well, not necessarily happy, but they were able to speak their minds without anyone else saying anything.

_October 28th_

_I don’t know if I can handle Megan continuing to use me as though I’m her servant. Maybe that’s all I am to her, not a confidant. Sure, she’ll tell me everything going on in her life, but she never bothers to check in on me. No one really does, but that’s likely on me. I don’t make a big deal of anything in my life. Well, I try my hardest not to at any rate._

_I helped her with that damned Halloween ball that I know I will dread going to, but I don’t have any way to get out of it. After knowing Megan for as long as I have, I know that I could be throwing up and she would simply claim that I was just wasted._

_I know that friends need to do things for each other, and she has done things for me, but I don’t have anyone else to confide in. If anything ,it feels like most people are just working against me. Especially Miles._

_He’s the prince who’s obviously never going to inherit the throne. Maybe that’s why he always looks like a unicorn shat in his water. I’ve never seen the boy smile the entire time I’ve known him, and I’ve known him for as long as I’ve known Megan._

_Not that it matters, the only thing that appears to matter is what I wear to the ball-_

“Julie, did you hear any of that?” Megan asked, looking over her phone before taking a sip from her latte.

Juliet looked up from her notebook, “Um yeah, costume ideas. Should it be sexy or scary?”

“Sexy, obviously, where have you been this whole time?” Megan questioned, shaking her head, “Okay, so since you already give off that lolita Japanese schoolgirl vibe, I was thinking you should be Cho Chang,” Megan started.

_Never mind, the princess is actually exceedingly racist and I wish I could overthrow her._

Juliet opened her mouth like she was about to speak before Megan continued, “I mean, I think it would definitely get you laid. Lord knows that you need that, you’re always so pent up that you can’t even focus on anything for longer than ten seconds.”

“Um… you know that I only have Hufflepuff robes, right? And that I’m Vietnamese?” Juliet asked, tilting her head to the side.

Megan shrugged, “Your point? No one knows the difference between Asians. You could be from North Korea for all anyone cares. And I doubt anyone pays attention to that series for long enough to realize that the one Asian character isn’t in the house that you’ll be wearing.”

“My point was tha-”

“Anyways, where was I? Oh right, I was gonna be a sexy cat. We’ll both look great, I’ll make sure you get laid, so tell your Ba or whatever that you’ll be staying the night at my place. You’ll thank me later,” Megan said, scrolling through her phone some more.

_Why in the world the princess insists that I get into a relationship, I’ve no idea. I’m much too busy trying to control my magic to even make the time to be with anyone. Besides, there isn’t anyone eligible who interests me to begin with. All of the knights are too crass and I can’t imagine Megan picking out anyone else for me._

_Besides, the only moderately attractive guy I could date without it being weird would be Miles. That would never happen in a million years. He can’t stand me and the same goes for him. Even then, being with the prince when I’m meant to be serving the princess simply sounds wrong to begin with. Of course, even thinking about being with Miles in any context involves him not being a complete ass._

“Okay, Julie, what the hell are you writing that could possibly be more important than this?” Megan asked, tapping her nails against the table impatiently, “This is you we’re talking about here. Do you have any preferences about guys?”

Juliet shut her notebook, “I-it’s nothing. And I’m not really sure if I should be with anyone right now.”

“Oh, come on! It’s just sex. You don’t need to marry the guy, it would just be a one night stand anyways,” Megan replied, thinking for a moment, “Oh, I know! A classic, just some regular, old-fashioned seven minutes in heaven!”

Juliet opened her mouth to protest, but Megan cut in again, “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure only attractive people are playing. You’ll have a blast at my party, just like you have every year.”

That was another lie, but Juliet knew that she would never get the chance to say so. She would never be able to admit that she hated parties and she couldn’t stand Halloween. Then there was the fact that she didn’t want a relationship. What was the point when she couldn’t even pay attention to another person for longer than thirty seconds?

Of course, Megan always made it clear that she would rather be anywhere else once Juliet started talking, so she simply rolled through the punches. There was less than a year before graduation. She would get accepted to a college. Her grades would get her a good scholarship. Things would be okay someday. They would have to be. Juliet didn’t know what she would do with herself if things didn’t get better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo how're we feeling about all these new characters??? Please let me know because I would love to talk to you guys! These characters are my babies and I could go on about them all day!


	3. Chapter Three: Picked Out A Costume

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Halloween

 For a day that should have been spent in grief, the sunny, clear skies in Bend seemed to say otherwise. It had been almost the exact same two years before, but there were some obvious differences. For one, two years ago on that day, Juliet had her mother. Her father was still a little overbearing, but her mother would make sure Juliet knew that what she was doing was more than enough.

She wasn’t sure if she could remember hearing anything like that since that day. If anything, Juliet knew that she would be hearing the opposite. The morning had left her world turned completely upside down after not waking up to her alarm clock.

From then on, she simply couldn’t keep up with herself. There was some sort of disconnect between everything she wanted to do and every action that she made. She could still do everything she wanted, but it just wasn’t quite fast enough. While Juliet pretended to not know what was going with her, she did know.

It was obvious to her, the day was rigged to be a wreck from the start. No matter the cheery Halloween spirit from teenagers in onesies. Juliet kept to a regular black skirt and a navy blue sweater. It wasn’t the most Halloween-themed outfit that she had worn, but she didn’t care about the season. More importantly, she didn’t care about the party to come.

“Oh, this is gonna be a great party! I think it’s really gonna top all the others, don’t ya think?” Megan asked, eating her usual salad at the lunch table.

Juliet shrugged a little, “It’s your last one here so… I would guess so.”

Never mind the fact that Megan was only so gleeful because of the list of guys just waiting for her. How anyone could go through so many people in so short a time, Juliet didn’t know. That wasn’t what bothered her, though. What bothered her was how the night would turn out. Old memories that were bubbling up just underneath her skin combined with alcoholic beverages would never be a good mix.

_October 31_

_It’s the day of the ball and I wish for literally anything else to happen. I would rather contract the bubonic plague than go to this ball where I know I won’t talk to anyone. It makes no difference about whether or not the princess sets me up, I can’t even keep track with myself._

_I know that my powers are slowing me down, but I’m unsure of how to fix that. And while Frank did send a pigeon to ask me if I would like an emergency visit, I declined. People cannot know that I am a sorceress or why I lost control of my powers. Today will be hard enough on its own. If I were to be revealed, it would likely mean almost certain death._

_At the same time, my father simply tells me that sorcery is wrong and that others will burn me at the stake. However, I never ask any questions. It’s rude to ask questions and he would tell me just that. So instead, I will comply and serve him as a daughter and Megan as her lady-in-waiting._

_Hopefully I’m doing a good job, I have no way of knowing. She is not always clear about when she is pleased with something or when she can’t stand having me around. I wish she would just say so for herself, but I also know that she can be a cruel mistress to have._

The school day was so close to finishing up, and Juliet had plans of her own before the party started up. She told Megan that she needed to get homework done before her father would let her go anywhere. That was true, but Juliet wasn’t going to be doing homework before the party. Juliet was going to do the one thing that she had been wanting to do the whole day. For months on end, in reality.

The bell rang, snapping Juliet out of a nap she hadn’t realized she was taking, and she got up from her desk, practically racing to get out of the building. Everyone talked about going to parties and helping to hand out candy to little kids, but Juliet didn’t care about any of that. She needed to get to the grocery store first.

The daisies dyed all of the different colors had always been her mother’s favorite kind of flower. She claimed that there was something magical about them, and Juliet couldn’t help but see it too. Sure, there was a scientific reason behind the bright greens and purples, but that still didn’t change what she saw as completely brilliant.

After paying for the flowers, Juliet made her way back to her house. It was close enough to her house that she could just walk. Something that she thought would be better so she could surprise her father with the flowers as well as the plan she had been formulating in her head all day. Even before that day she had just wanted a chance to see her mother again.

“ _Cha!_  Are you in here?” Juliet asked as she set her backpack down and took off her shoes.

Her father was sitting in the recliner, looking over something on his laptop, “Yes… what do you have those for?”

“Well… since Mẹ um… well, died today, I was thinking we could go see her. If nothing else, just leave these flowers there to brighten it up a bit. I mean, they were her favorite and I think that she would really-”

“No! Are you điên?! Visiting her is not getting over her! You are simply dwelling on her memory and you will not go to her grave. You will go to that party and you will forget about what happened today! You need to move on,” her father snapped, starting to raise his voice.

Juliet felt a lump in her throat, and she tried to swallow it as best she could, “Please, you never talk about her. A-and Dr. Johnson thinks that it could be good for us. Not just-”

“You take everything that therapist says like he is God! But he is not, and you know it! I forbid it and that’s final, I cannot believe that would make such a suggestion,” he replied, looking back to his computer.

As badly as Juliet wanted to say something, anything, just to scream at the top of her lungs, all means of speech were knocked out of her. It was obvious that it made no difference about what she said to him. His mind wasn’t going to be changed. Then, along with her mother’s death, she thought back to another day that she would refuse to let herself think of. She couldn’t afford to think about what happened on that day.

Still, that didn’t change the tears that were brimming in her chocolate-colored eyes. Juliet turned to go to her room, and she closed the door softly. The last thing she needed was to show that she was bothered by what had been said. Her father didn’t want her to keep thinking about the past, but that was all she could think about.

All the same, he almost never raised his voice, and she knew that. He was always the type of person to hide everything, but all she could get off of him was anger and irritation. Still, she knew that she was stuck waiting for Megan to show up in her blue Volkswagen Beetle. There was no convincing her to do anything at all, period, and she knew that.

_I don’t understand why I have to pretend like nothing’s happened to me. As though nothing has happened to my family. As though my mother never even existed. It is worse than dealing with her death all over again. It’s worse than when I tried to bring her back. Well, tried to bring myself to her._

_And I know that I shouldn’t think about that until I’m ready, and I’m not, but it’s all that will go through my head and I’m not sure my father realizes it. Still, I’m stuck going to a ball that I know I won’t enjoy. I’ll be lucky to not cry during it in all honesty. And I suppose that’s okay. Everyone goes through grief at their own pace._

_Still, I don’t think most would turn to necromancy, but I just wanted to be with my mother again. It made no difference of what anyone else wanted. In reality, it still feels like I could repeat everything and it would still make no difference. It didn’t do anything the first time, but I wasn’t looking for a reaction._

There was a knock at the door, which Juliet knew could only be Megan. She had forgotten to change into her costume, and quickly she changed into the Hufflepuff robes that were hung up in her closet. While she wasn’t a fan of the holiday she was wearing it for, she did feel comfortable thinking that she was in a world that wasn’t her own. A world where people would tell her that she was going to be okay. And maybe in a different world, people would be different.

Juliet knew that she had no time to drift off into thoughts, and she packed a quick bag, throwing a book and her notebook along with a couple of pens into it. Those were just as necessary as any toiletry or clothing item. Not that Megan would have understood. She would have just said Juliet could borrow some of her clothing, but Juliet never felt like herself when she dressed like Megan.

Finally, just as she thought she had everything, the flowers were still in the corner of her eye. If there was even half of a chance that she could see her mother, she was going to be damned if she didn’t take it. So she managed to fit the brightly colored flowers into the duffle bag before leaving the room.

She opened the front door to see Megan already clad in her own cat costume and she grinned, “See? Japanese lolita school-girl vibes! The guys will go absolutely crazy.”

“Still kinda racist,” Juliet murmured, and it was far too quiet for her to be heard, not that she wanted Megan to hear her in the first place.

The drive was as uneventful as everything else that happened in the day. While it made everything feel dull, Juliet wasn’t sure if she minded. There was only one thing that had really pushed the day into being a bust, and she still felt a disconnect between her mind and herself. If anyone noticed, they simply didn’t care enough to say so. In a way, Juliet was grateful for that. She didn’t want people to start freaking out over her any time soon.

Megan pulled up to her large house, and the place was decorated with fake spider webs and window decals and jack-o-lanterns. If she didn’t have to go to a party, she would think that the house was lovely. Of course, it was amazing. It was where the mayor of Bend lived, and obviously she would only want the best for her family.

Like many families in the neighborhood, the Taylor residence was amazing and far nicer than Juliet’s home. It didn’t make her jealous my any means. Not when it would only be her and her father. Besides, the house was almost too large for four people in the first place. It was no wonder why Megan always wanted to throw party after party in the place.

Almost right as Juliet walked into the house, she was offered a jello shot by Megan. That was to be expected, and all Juliet wanted was to knock back a couple of shots and wait out the rest of the night. It was the exact same thing she did at any other party, and they all ended the same for her. With Megan insisting she stay the night, even though she only stayed in one corner of the living room for the whole night. Then, she would fall asleep and wake up the next morning wrapped up in a blanket she couldn’t remember putting on the night before.

Juliet took the jello shot that upon tasting it was definitely pumpkin spice flavored before being dragged to a different section of the house by Megan. A part of Juliet’s stomach grew unsettled at the thought of her friend making her hook up with someone she barely knew.

“Hey, look, I-I’m not feeling that great tonight, maybe I should just chill,” Juliet started, staring at her shoes.

Megan laughed a bit, “Oh, don’t be silly, I didn’t tell you to dress like that for you to ‘just chill’ the whole time. You need to loosen up a bit more.”

Before Juliet could say anything more to protest, she was already stuck in a group full of other people from her school. A part of her just hoped that no one got paired up with her and that fate would speak for itself. She didn’t think it was right, trying to be with anyone else when she couldn’t even speak her own mind half of the time.

For a little while, letting fate work its magic was working out. The game of seven minutes in heaven that Megan insisted on starting to get her party going was starting off simply enough. Granted, the only people Juliet recognized were Chris, Veronica, and even Miles.

Chris had always managed to get his way into Megan’s parties, regardless of all the underhanded comments she would make about him. The truth was that Juliet did like having Chris around, and she didn’t agree with half of the things that Megan would say.

Juliet knew that the only reason Megan had a problem with Chris was because he was originally Christina. At least, that’s who he’d been when Juliet made out with him a year ago. It was an attempt to see if Megan’s idea of “letting loose” for one night would make any kind of difference. In reality it hadn’t, and nothing happened with Chris. Though she could remember the awkward conversation a couple months before when she started to tutor him.

In all honesty, Juliet didn’t mind what Chris did with his life, and she supported him completely. While they almost never talked outside of the one tutoring period she had with him, she was fairly certain that he didn’t mind her. Then again, she would never be able to know for sure.

“Okay, Julie! You gotta pick out of the cauldron!” Megan exclaimed, practically shoving Juliet’s hand into the plastic cauldron.

Juliet tried to step back, but she only bumped into the wall. Seeing that there was no other choice, Juliet felt the different slips of paper. After moving over several of them repeatedly, she picked one. Silently, she was hoping for Chris. If there was anyone who would understand not being in the mood, it would have to be him.

However, when she handed the paper to Megan, Juliet felt her heart drop right to her stomach at Megan’s voice.

“Miles… well shit. Have fun, but not too much. That’s weird, but whatever,” Megan said, shrugging a little as she grabbed her brother and Juliet by their wrists before dragging them to a hallway closet.

With how Miles’s shoulders were hunched and how his gaze seemed indifferent, Juliet was almost positive it was going to be the most mind-numbing seven minutes of her life. If it had been Chris, she would’ve had someone she could talk to. Miles was a different story entirely, and she just hoped that he didn’t try anything with her.

Juliet stood in the closet, her back pressed against the wall in an attempt to leave some sort of personal space. The way the silence hung in the room, Juliet was left wishing that she had faked getting deathly ill that whole day. It wasn’t like she had been all that productive that day anyways.

“So,  _Julie_ , you gonna say anything?” Miles asked, mimicking his twin’s tone again.

Juliet’s nose scrunched up at the nickname again, “I mean, I don’t know… you didn’t want to um…”

“Hook up? Nah, I barely know you, and you were standing around looking like you’d rather be anywhere else. Which, I get, but why bother coming?” Miles questioned.

Juliet shrugged a bit, “Megan kind of forced me, she can be kinda persuasive, you know?”

“Right… or you’re just such a people pleaser that you can’t think for yourself. That’s a pretty shitty way to live, you know that, right?” Miles sighed a bit, “Hold on, I’m gonna turn on a flashlight.”

In a few moments, the closet was lit up by the flashlight on Miles’s phone. Juliet could see his face clearly as well as some of the jackets that hung in the closet. Still, she was leaned against the wall, not wanting to be pressed up too close to Miles. Nothing was said, and an awkward, tense silence fell over the closet.

Finally, Miles grew tired of it, “Look, if we’re still in here for another six minutes, I wanna at least figure you out.”

“Figure me out? What kind of… what?” Juliet asked, blinking and shaking her head. Her arms were crossed as she felt a draft.

Miles sighed a bit, “Like, why do you do all of this? Ya know, my sister treats you like garbage and you never do anything about it. Why?”

“Um… I-I don’t know… I don’t think about it I guess,” Juliet said, trying to stay as close to the wall as she could, wishing for the time to go faster.

He rolled his eyes, “Right, and that’s why you always shrink back whenever she calls you ‘Julie’ or when she yells at you.”

“She doesn’t yell at me… it’s fine, and really not your business,” Juliet replied, playing with the end of the sleeve of her Hufflepuff cardigan.

Miles scoffed a bit, “Okay, doesn’t yell at you… I’m not sure we remember things the same way. But when you had to hand out all those invites… what would you call that?”

“I uh… well, I kinda messed up and I shouldn’t have forgotten. Look, do we really need to talk about this? Can’t we talk about… literally anything else?” Juliet asked, shrinking back.

He sighed, running a hand through his blond hair, “Look, I just want you to see this like I’m seeing it. You’re being treated like garbage and you’re not doing anything about it. And I don’t know if it’s because she’s fucking you on the side or she hypnotized you, but you’re always doing whatever she wants while she does nothing.”

“It doesn’t matter… it’s just for the rest of the school year anyways. We won’t talk after graduation anyways. Why do you care?” she asked, feeling her heart rate quicken and she rubbed her sweaty palms on her skirt.

He shook his head, “It’s annoying, seeing you wander around so mindlessly all the time. I mean, it was always kinda bad, but it’s only gotten worse lately.”

“I-I’d say things have gotten better,” she said quietly.

Miles frowned, “As a bystander, I wouldn’t. Look, it’s not my business, but if we’re in here for a few more minutes, I gotta know why it’s so important you stay her friend for the rest of the year.”

“Well, I don’t really have any other friends… and there’s just the continuity, I guess,” she replied, her voice getting softer as she kept speaking.

He frowned a little, “Hey, you shouldn’t have to do things just because you feel like you have to.”

“That’s life, really. Doing what you don’t really want, but you actually have to,” she said, shrugging.

“Well, yeah, but dealing with Megan isn’t one of those things. Look, I’m saying this because you always look… just not right. Especially tonight.”

“W-what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just look at yourself, you look like I’m about to stab you to death. I don’t know what’s wrong, and I’ll admit that I don’t think you can think for yourself, but you shouldn’t be here,” he said, jumping a bit when the door clicked open.

Megan looked between both Miles and Juliet and nodded a bit, “Figures… well, I just saw Hayden from government, so later, Julie.”

“See? She just leaves you, all the time,” Miles pointed out, stuffing his hands in his hoodie pocket.

Juliet shrugged, starting to walk towards the living room, “Yeah, that’s for the best though, it’s either that or she nags at me to get laid. I just chill in the corner and fall asleep at some point.”

“Yeah, I know. I do live here, you know that, right?” Miles asked, rolling his eyes a little.

Juliet nodded, sitting at her usual corner chair, “Yep, I’m actually smarter than you make me sound.”

“Never said you weren’t good at school. I’m just saying you don’t speak for yourself,” he said, “Besides, who do you think keeps giving you a blanket when you pass out?”

Her eyes widened a bit, “Wait… no, really? I always thought I was just too tired to remember or that Megan did that.”

“Please, she’s way too self-absorbed for that. I try to make sure people don’t get too noisy when it gets late, and I’m not a complete asshole. So, since you’re here all the time and you don’t do anything, I guess I just don’t want you getting cold or anything,” Miles said, sitting next to her, staring at the floor.

Juliet nodded slowly, “Right, I mean, that makes sense… that’s actually really nice, um… thanks for that.”

“Don’t mention it, I’m just trying to be a semi-decent person. One of us has to be the nice twin,” he replied, running a hand through his hair.

She sighed a bit, “Yeah, you’re probably the nicer one… not that there’s much of a competition there.”

“So you  _are_  tired of it! I’ve been waiting for you to finally say something this whole time,” he exclaimed, laughing a bit.

Juliet frowned a bit, hugging herself a little. Was he going to tell Megan? On one hand, he acted like he couldn’t stand his sister, but on the other hand, they were siblings. That had to mean something. Or maybe it didn’t mean anything. She was never sure how sibling relationships worked.

Though saying anything out loud about Megan did leave Juliet with more of a sinking feeling. What would her mother say if she heard Juliet? What would she say if she saw how Juliet acted? Was she actually enough? Would she ever be enough? It wasn’t like she could ask those questions to anyone. There wasn’t anyone she was close enough to so she could ask something like that.

Her hands felt clammy and she wiped them on her black skirt again, staring at her hands. They were shaking the slightest bit, and a part of her wished Miles would go back to being the same indifferent guy he had always seemed to be. Just so she could blame the stinging in her eyes on one too many shots and not on the fact that two years ago on the same day she had lost the one person who had actually been keeping her life together the whole time.

“Hey, it’s getting kinda crowded. I haven’t had anything to drink, so um… do you maybe wanna get out of here for awhile?” Miles asked, cutting into Juliet’s thoughts.

Juliet stared into space for a moment more before nodding, “Yeah, I guess, what did you have in mind?”

“I don’t know, was there anything you wanted to do? I was probably just gonna go to that one diner and grab a milkshake or something, but if you had anything you needed to do, you just look like you need to get out of here,” he said, frowning a bit.

Almost immediately, Juliet’s head snapped up and turned to Miles, “Yes, actually, there is something… how would you feel about going to the cemetery?”

“Um… depends on your plans. You’re not trying to murder me or something, right?” he asked, smiling a little.

Juliet shook her head, “No, not that, i-it’s… I um… well, I wanna see my mom. Just… give me a sec, I had something.”

Before Miles could say or do anything, Juliet got up and almost ran to Megan’s room where she had left her things for the night. She knew that she hadn’t been a complete idiot for taking the flowers with her, and she couldn’t stop herself from smiling as she found the brightly colored daisies in her duffel bag. They were slightly crushed, but Juliet knew that they would still work. At least, given the situation she was in.

Miles had followed behind her and stood in the doorway. While he wasn’t sure what Juliet had in mind, it was the most animated he had seen her the whole day. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about Juliet, but she didn’t make sense to him. What frustrated him was that she just didn’t strike him as all that secretive, but he knew nearly nothing about her.

“Oh! I didn’t hear you follow me, um… yeah, let’s get going,” Juliet said, tugging on the robes of her costume, hoping that would keep her warm for the night.

Miles had the keys to his car in his hoodie pocket and he led Juliet out to the garage. It was then that Juliet started to reevaluate just what she was doing. She had never been alone with Miles before and she couldn’t remember the first thing about him. What if he tried to do something to her? Not that she thought he would, but it was an intrusive thought lurking in her mind. It was starting to get late. At the same time, she wanted to see her mother and finally have a chance to grieve for the first time in awhile. Yes, it went against what her father wanted, but she doubted that he knew what was actually the best for her. After everything she had gone through, she barely trusted anyone’s choices, especially her own.

“You’re pretty quiet, you know that, right?” Miles asked as he started driving down the streets.

Juliet shrugged, “I don’t think there’s much to say.”

“I wouldn’t say that. I think there’s a lot you could say. There’s a lot you should say. Seriously, you need to tell Megan to back off or she’ll never stop bothering you. I’m not sure you’ll lose her after graduation,” he admitted, his fingers tapping on the steering wheel.

Juliet pursed her lips, “What’s that supposed to mean? She’s not even thinking about the colleges I am.”

“Yeah? Because I overheard her talking about how she was going to rely on you to get through uni. Do you seriously do her homework for her?” Miles asked.

Juliet sighed, tucking some of her hair behind her ear, “Maybe I do… but that’s only because I mess up other stuff and that’s me making up for everything.”

“Look, you’re supposed to be her friend, not her… her slave. You don’t have to do everything she wants. She’s not a god,” he said, shaking his head a bit.

Juliet sighed a bit, playing with a loose string, “Okay, but you’re missing the point.  _I’m_  the one messing up, I just wanna be a decent friend.”

“I’m not sure if I can get it in your head or not, but not being able to hang out with her every day doesn’t make you a bad friend. Staying home to do homework or sleep or whatever, doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. And it’s just… I can’t believe you haven’t figured that out yet.”

“It really doesn’t matter… are you gonna grill me like this all night?”

“I’m not grilling you. I-I just don’t want you to do something stupid just because my sister wanted you to.”

“Right, so you couldn’t have just said that in the first place?”

“I wanted to make sure you weren’t just a clone of her.”

The car went silent, so Miles turned on the radio. Juliet didn’t listen to the songs, mainly wrapped up in her thoughts of what would happen. It was dark, and the dashboard showed that it was just barely nine. The plastic wrapping the flowers Juliet had bought made crinkling sounds.

While it was quiet, the silence wasn’t nearly as tense as either of them had expected it to be. Miles had only wanted to help, but he could tell that getting Juliet out of her regular routine would be easier said than done. All the same, Juliet was still in the car simply because she couldn’t stay at that party for another minute.

Parties were never Juliet’s favorite thing, but she didn’t mind watching people throughout the night. Whether it was a couple fighting or a group of friends sharing jokes. They were all stories and she loved the idea of being a minor character in whatever was going on in that person’s life.

Everyone had some sort of story in their life. The question was whether or not they were the main character of that story. Miles had to be the main character of his own life, and Juliet wasn’t completely sure of what he had in mind. Though, whenever she thought about it, she wasn’t the main character in her own story. She was constantly supporting all of the other people around her. People who had their own stories. People who likely didn’t care too much for her anyways.

As badly as Juliet wanted to complain, she also felt as though she did everything to herself. At the end of the day, she chose to do what everyone else wanted her to. Whether that was a good or bad thing was what she didn’t know.

The car pulled to a stop, and Juliet couldn’t help noticing what had to be her father’s car in the small parking lot for the cemetery.

“So um… we’re here,” Miles said, turning off the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Soooo, what are you guys thinking of Miles??? And what do you guys think happened to Juliet's mom???? Also, how do you feel about that ending??? Please let me know, I love hearing back from you guys so much!!!!


	4. Chapter Four: Hot Chocolate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We pick up right where we left off

At first, Juliet hadn’t said anything. Instead she was staring at the car, trying to make sure it was her father’s. Bend wasn’t a small town, and it was completely possible that someone else with a car that looked like her father’s decided to go to the cemetery where her mother was buried on the day that she died. 

Her heart rate sped up. What would happen if she got caught? She needed to think fast, and she needed to come up with something that would let her avoid her father until he left. While she did wonder why he was there, she knew that she would never get the chance to ask that. She was just a dumb child who didn’t know what was good for herself. At least, that was what she knew her father would claim. Even though, Juliet knew that deep down she was smart and she could make her own choices. That much was obvious as she sat in the passenger seat of Miles’s car.

“Hey… you okay?” Miles asked, unbuckling his seatbelt.

Juliet sighed a bit, “Um… I guess… but we gotta hid for a few minutes. You see, I’m kinda not supposed to be here. My dad’s here, though, and well, you see… I wasn’t thinking I’d get this far.”

“Oh, okay. Well, let’s get out of here, and we’ll go hide until we see the car pull out, okay?” he suggested, opening the door.

Juliet nodded, getting out of the car, “I’m just… sorry about this. I know you probably didn’t wanna get stuck taking your sister’s friend to see her dead mom on Halloween.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. I had no plans, most of my friends are kinda just at that party anyways. Most of those guys wanna see my sister anyways,” Miles admitted, following Juliet.

She walked away from where her mother’s grave was, the crinkling of the plastic wrapped around the flowers would cut through the air, “Seriously? I mean, that’s kinda rough. I just thought you always had better things to do.”

“Nah, not really. I mean, Halloween’s cool and all, but I don’t really see the point anymore now that I’m not some ten year old getting a sugar high.”

“That’s a bit much. I’m just not a fan because well… yeah,” she paused, not saying anything about her mother, a lump threatening to swell up in her throat.

There was a large tree that they were both standing under, and Juliet had a clear enough view to where if she stood at the right angle, she saw her father. All she could do was hope that he didn’t see her or Miles. The fact that she was there was bad enough if she were caught. Being with a guy she’d never talked about much beforehand would only make the situation worse.

Despite the fact that she was certain her father would never pay attention to the trees at night, her pulse felt like it was going a million miles an hour. She couldn’t begin to describe how easy it would be for things to go wrong. If Miles got too loud, or she crinkled the plastic on the flowers too loudly. What if the sun just suddenly rose, leaving her out in the cemetery in broad daylight?

Miles rested a hand on Juliet’s shoulder, “Hey, you doing okay?”

His voice was soft, not because he thought that speaking at a normal tone would get them in trouble. It just felt so wrong to be around all the dead people and then to just speak as though everything were normal. Maybe he only felt that way because of how still Juliet was, the way her frame seemed to curl into itself as if she were trying to make herself smaller. She was already shorter than him, and he could tell something was bothering her. Only, he also knew that was expected, and he wasn’t sure how he could help her in the first place.

“Um… yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” she replied, her voice becoming nearly silent as she finished speaking.

Every sound was making her jump. Not because she was scared of the headstones or the thought of dead bodies being just beneath her feet. The thought of her father yelling at her was far more terrifying. He wasn’t an angry man, but after how he had reacted earlier, she began to wonder if something was wrong. Testing him didn’t feel like a good idea.

Though, he did have to leave at some point, and she started to breathe once she noticed he was going back to his car. However, she didn’t make any move to go anywhere until she saw him pull out and get onto the road. There was no reason for her to take any chances when she had already waited.

“This way,” Juliet said, leading Miles over to her mother’s headstone.

It was impossible to read in the dark, but she knew the way to it no problem. Not because she went often, her father insisted she didn’t go more than once a month. He claimed it wasn’t healthy, and Juliet was unsure if that was true, but she never questioned it.

She felt a lump growing in her throat as she remembered how she hadn’t seen her mother that whole month. Her father had just decided she wasn’t allowed to go. Yet, he had just been there, and Juliet couldn’t understand why he would act like such a hypocrite.

“Um… do you want me to wait for you? Or do you want me here or…” Miles trailed off, realizing that technically, he was involving himself in something that was none of his business.

Juliet took a deep breath and shook her head, “You should probably stay here.”

If she didn’t have anyone there, she would likely let herself freeze to death before she left. While she did have her cardigan and robes from her costume, those didn’t protect her legs which were still bare with only her skirt on. She could feel the slight, chilled breeze blowing through the night. 

Before her mother had died, Juliet knew that she would have been scared for her life being in a cemetery late at night. Instead, she felt like she was right where she needed to be. She kneeled down on the freezing, damp grass and leaned the flowers on the headstone. The shape of the flowers was just barely visible.

Her eyes stung with tears as she thought about that night two years ago. After everything that had happened, after knowing how things were going to turn out, she still couldn’t help the shock she had felt. Then again, was there ever truly a way to be prepared for someone’s death? She doubted it.

It didn’t take long for tears to flood her eyes and they inevitably fell. There had to be some way to fix things and make everything like how it used to be two years before. Only, she knew that was impossible. Things would never be the same and she couldn’t go back and fix everything she had done. All she could do was hope everyone would ignore everything she had done before.

Juliet didn’t realize how much she was crying or just how cold it was until she felt Miles touching her shoulder again. The moonlight was just enough that she knew he would have seen how blotchy her face had gotten while she cried, so she didn’t look over at Miles. Maybe she should have had him wait for her back in his car.

“Hey, Jules, you’re freezing, we should probably go,” he said, offering her a hand to help her up.

This wasn’t normal for him, and he didn’t know what he was supposed to do. It felt wrong, leaving her there to cry by herself, and he could see she was shaking like crazy. He didn’t know what had happened, but he knew that something was wrong. Seeing anyone like that in general made him uncomfortable and all he could think to do was to try and make her feel better.

Juliet took his hand and he led her back to his car, helping her inside. The way she was shaking almost made Miles feel like he was holding an injured bird. He wasn’t sure if she was shaking from crying or because it was cold, but once he got into the car, he turned up the heater in the car.

A part of Juliet wanted to run off, but she knew that jumping out of a moving car would only make things worse. Besides, she had asked to go to the cemetery, but she hadn’t expected to quickly become a bawling mess right when she saw her mother’s headstone. Then again, maybe she shouldn’t have been so surprised.

It didn’t take long for the warm air to fill up the car, and Miles handed Juliet a couple of tissues from his console. Nothing was said, music just played in the car. Miles wasn’t about to make Juliet say anything she didn’t want to. Whereas Juliet felt like if she said anything, she’d start crying again. She had no clue where Miles was driving to, but a part of her also didn’t care.

“Um… I don’t really know what makes you happy or anything, but I know warm drinks kind of help me. So if you don’t want anything, don’t worry about it, but I’m getting some hot chocolate. And I’m paying,” Miles said as he pulled into the 24/7 diner.

Juliet shook her head, “I-I couldn’t, that’s not… you already um… you just… don’t have to.”

“Look, I know that, but I want to. Come on, it’s not like you’ve got anywhere else to go,” he pointed out, starting to open his door.

Sighing, Juliet opened her door and got out. She could feel that her flats were wet and she could see from the street lamps that her knees still had some mud on her knees and she tried to brush it off before walking in. The air was still chilly and she felt goosebumps all over legs as she followed Miles into the diner.

He took a seat at a booth towards the back corner, and Juliet sat across from him. Given it was late, there wasn’t anyone else there except for the two of them and the staff. The menus were already on the table, but Juliet wasn’t all that hungry. On the other hand, a hot drink wasn’t going to hurt her. Though, a part of her could hear Megan saying something about how liquid calories simply weren’t worth it. She almost listened to that small voice, almost.

“What do you kids want tonight?” the waitress asked, coming up to their booth.

“Um… I’ll just have a hot chocolate, extra whipped cream and maybe a cinnamon stick if you have any,” Miles said, looking up from the menu.

“And you?”

Juliet looked down, “I-I’ll just have some hot chocolate, marshmallows please.”

“Perfect, I’ll get those out in just a sec.”

Both of them were silent, Juliet now focused on a loose string on the sleeve of her robe. As silly as she probably looked with it on, she also felt like she would freeze without it. It was warm in the diner, but Juliet still felt like she was shivering.

Miles wanted to hand her the jean jacket that he had on, but something told him that she would just say no. Why she didn’t let him just help her was beyond him. He just wanted to be helpful and finally show her that his sister was treating her like garbage. While this was likely the best way to start, he also didn’t want to make her do anything she didn’t want to.

“She um… she never went to the funeral with me. Megan, I mean,” Juliet said, staring at the table.

Miles frowned a bit, “What do you mean she never went? Like, when your mom died?”

“Uh yeah… she said she had to leave town that day or something. And I had to go through everything on my own. I mean, there was my dad and all, but I didn’t have any friends there,” she admitted, taking a deep breath.

He looked at Juliet, whose eyes weren’t meeting his, “That’s terrible. I’m sorry, seriously, if I’d known… I know I didn’t talk to you much, but…”

“B-but it’s all in the past now, right? And it’s dumb to keep thinking about it, right?” she asked, glancing up at him for a moment.

Miles shook his head, “Not really, that was your mom. And you had to go through a lot on your own. At least, that’s what it sounds like.”

The waitress came back to them, handing both of them their hot chocolate’s. Juliet’s with marshmallows topping it off and Miles’s with whipped cream and a couple cinnamon sticks sticking out from it.

Miles quickly thanked the waitress before turning back to Juliet, “So, what did happen? You don’t need to say anything if you don’t want to, but you look like you want to talk.”

“I-I just… don’t get why my dad gets to go visit my mom and I wasn’t allowed to. That I had to sneak around like it was a crime or something, and that I had to ask someone else to take me and… sorry, you probably didn’t want to hear about any of that,” she murmured, her hands holding the warm cup.

Miles shook his head again, “No, you need to talk to someone. Jules, is it alright that I call you that?”

“Yeah, I don’t really care.”

“You looked like hell all day today. And not in a physical way. You looked fine, but you just looked out of it. You’re always spacing out, sure, but it was like you just weren’t there at all. And it’s not my business and I’ve never really talked to you before today, but you should just know that there’s someone worried about you,” he told her, looking at her hands.

Juliet stared at her marshmallows as they started to melt into the hot liquid, “I thought I was fine… besides, it doesn’t matter. It happened two years ago. I’ll have to get over it one way or another.”

“Now who told you that?” Miles asked, taking a sip of his drink.

She shrugged, “My dad, Megan, myself-”

“They’re full of shit. That was your mom. If I lost either of my parents, shit, if I lost Megan… I’d probably lose it. I’ve had them all my life and I can’t imagine what it’s like to not have one of them around,” he exclaimed, quickly backing down when he realized he raised his voice a little.

Juliet frowned, “I-I don’t know. I mean, I was ready for it. At least, I should have been. It was kind of a long time coming.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Juliet sighed, her breath shaky, “In middle school, my mom said that she was pregnant. You know, the usual her cycle stopped and she was getting morning sickness. And I-I was the selfish middle schooler who didn’t want anything to do with a baby.”

“So… when she told me that she was fairly certain that she was pregnant, I tried to do everything in my power to make it not true. I prayed to every god I could think of, and I wished on every star that I could see at night. It was just so important to me that I was the only child. I-I was so  _ fucking _ selfish.”

“And then the day of my mom’s first ultrasound came in… a-and,” Juliet paused to drink her hot chocolate, “A-and I guess i got what I had asked for, because there was no baby. Instead there was a gigantic tumor where the baby should have been.”

“So it feels like that was my fault. Everything listened to what I wanted and I didn’t have a sibling. Instead I had a sick mom who was gonna die. We didn’t know when that was gonna happen. I mean, we tried to find doctors. We looked for new medicines a-and it did nothing. It was t-too far along. She was dead from that first scan.”

“I don’t know how, but she made it to my freshman year. I-it was a miracle, but she’d never see me do anything. Sh-she’d never watch me graduate o-or go to college or get a job or get married. And of course she had to die on Halloween, and of course Megan forced me to go to her party. My parents wanted me there. I-I’m not sure either of them knew-” Juliet cut herself off, feeling the tears slipping from her eyes. 

Miles reached over, his hands on top of Juliet’s, and she didn’t pull away from him. “She died late that night and all I did was get drunk and pass out in a corner. I-I wasn’t there to really say goodbye, and I’ll never know… I-I’ll never hear if I’m doing anything right or if I’m making her proud. I-I mean, how can I? I wanted it to happen and I wasn’t there when she died and I… never mind.”

His blue eyes were locked with her tear-filled brown ones, “You obviously didn’t want that. Look, siblings aren’t great. I get why you wouldn’t want one, and you didn’t deserve or ask for everything that happened. You know that, right?”

Juliet shrugged a little, pulling away from Miles so she could drink her hot chocolate. She had almost told him the worst of it all. The one thing she wasn’t supposed to talk about. Why her father probably didn’t want her doing anything in the first place. Yet there she was, telling every terrible thing that happened to her to someone she rarely talked to before. Someone she thought completely hated her in the first place.

“I’m serious, you didn’t deserve any of that. I want you to know that, okay?” he told her, hoping she was listening to him.

Everything he had thought about her before suddenly felt so overly critical. He was kicking himself for not trying to say anything sooner. A part of him wished that he hadn’t made her say anything at all. That he had just taken her back to his house, to his room and held her and told her everything was going to be okay. Seeing her unravel like that made him wonder just how long she had been keeping everything a secret for.

“Have you talked to Megan about it?” he asked.

“No. She never cared while it was happening. No one really did.”

{Juliet wiped her eyes, shrinking into herself. If he asked too much, if he prompted too much, she worried that he would know everything about her. Things that only Dr. Johnson knew about, things that were supposed to be private. Everything that her father would call shameful. The same things that Dr. Johnson claimed she would be able to grow from. She would talk about everything she wanted to keep locked away in a part of her brain. Yet, it was still in her head and that didn’t mean everything wouldn’t come back.

Tears were still filling her eyes as she took another drink from her hot chocolate. It was sweet and rich. Not too hot and not lukewarm just yet. The marshmallows had all melted into the drink, making it creamier than it had been. She didn’t look back at Miles.

“You know, I don’t hate Megan… I know it looks like I do, but she has her moments. It’s just… she thinks she has to be like our mom. Always so stoic and almost cruel in order to get what she wants. I mean, I was like that for awhile too. Actually, I wanted to be like our dad. The businessman who got to control the company. Something I’ll probably never get to do…” Miles trailed off, pausing to take a drink.

“Anyways, I went to work with him one day. One of those ‘take your son to work day’ type of things. I can remember that I was so excited and I wanted to see what my life would maybe be like someday. And I was, like, ten, maybe? I can’t remember for sure, but what I do remember was that I went to go ask my dad a question and… well, I get into the room and he’s making out with his secretary.”

“And you know what the worst part is? I never told anyone. My dad never saw me, and I never told Megan or my mom or my friends. No one knows, and I don’t know if he still has that secretary or if Mom found out. Anyways, that made me look at things way differently, and I just… I can’t stand the big house or the parties or anything like that… sorry, this was about you, but I just-”

“It’s fine… more than fine, actually. Shit, if I wanted to talk about myself, I would say so much more. But if you don’t want to be your dad, then what do you want?” Juliet asked, looking up at him.

Miles smiled a bit, “It’s kinda silly, you sure you wanna hear about it?”

“It’s gotta be less depressing than what we’re talking about. Tell me,” she said, smiling weakly.

He chuckled a bit, rubbing the back of his neck, “Okay, well… when I was younger my mom made me take some ballet lessons. And it turns out I’m not too bad, and I still do it. They think it’s because I wanna look well rounded, but actually, I wanna teach other kids to dance.”

“That’s not silly at all. It’s actually really cool… seriously, you should do it. It’s not gonna make a whole lot, but if you’re just doing something for the money, what’s the point?”

“Yeah, I just don’t know how they’ll react when I choose my major for college. They might not like it, but at this point… I’m not sure I can respect my dad’s opinion. Maybe my mom’s, but sometimes I’m not sure if she’s much better. Is that bad?” he asked, biting his lip.

Juliet shook her head, “No, it’s really not, honestly. I kinda get that. I mean, obviously I do, I kinda snuck around a graveyard so I could see my mother.”

“I guess so.”

They kept talking, Juliet finding herself more and more intrigued by Miles. How she hadn’t talked to him earlier, she didn’t know. He was so honest about everything, regardless of whether it was a good thing or not, she could tell that he wanted to talk about what was happening, not what he thought was happening.

What was more of a relief was that she didn’t have to talk about anything she didn’t want to. In reality, Miles ended up talking for most of the conversation. He wasn’t doing it to prove he was smarter than her or better, but because when he started talking, his eyes lit up and sometimes he just couldn’t stop.

Seeing someone like that was refreshing, and Juliet couldn’t believe there was someone who was simply so nice. He held the door open for her on the way out, but he stopped her before she got into his car. He pulled her into a tight hug.

“Jules, I can’t say I really know what’s going on inside that head of yours, but whatever’s wrong… it’s gonna be okay,” he whispered, squeezing her a little.

Juliet found herself melting into his touch, and when he let go, it felt colder. She wanted him to keep hugging her. The way he smelled like peppermint and pine trees felt refreshing.

The drive back to his house was quiet, just the radio continuing to play in the background, but it was a comfortable silence. Juliet didn’t feel like she needed to go inside herself or shrink back for once. They didn’t hold hands or anything like that. It felt like she had someone she could finally talk to about anything. Sure, Juliet had a therapist for that, but it was nice to see that someone else thought she was going to turn out just fine.

When he pulled into the garage, he quickly turned to Juliet, “Oh shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t even asked if you wanted to come back here or go home.”

“I definitely don’t feel like going home, you don’t need to worry about that,” she promised, smiling at him.

They got back to the house and the party was still going. It was around midnight, and Juliet noticed her normal hideout in the corner was taken over by a couple sloppily making out. She would have been passing out around this time, and she did feel like she could fall asleep.

“Um… I’m just gonna go to Megan’s room and call it a night… or morning I guess,” she said, starting to go upstairs before Miles tugged at her wrist.

“You sure about that? I think she might have company up there already,” he said.

Juliet sighed, “If you’re so sure about that then we can check for ourselves, can’t we?”

Miles shrugged, rolling his eyes a little. Juliet led the way up to where Megan’s room was. She hoped it wasn’t taken up already. Her duffle bag was in there and she wanted to at least get something she could sleep in. Had she even remembered pajamas? She couldn’t remember.

Not that it mattered. When Juliet was just about to open the door, she could hear unmistakeable moans right through the door. It sounded like Megan and someone else. Who that other person was, Juliet had no idea, and she sort of didn’t care. Overhearing what was going on, Juliet couldn’t help feeling a little bit sick.

She looked over to Miles who didn’t seem fazed by the whole ordeal. A part of her wondered if he had ever walked in on her before, but she didn’t ask.

“So… where should I go?” Juliet asked, tucking some of her black hair behind her ear.

Miles led the way further down the hall, “You can just stay in my room for tonight. Don’t worry, I’ll just take the floor.”

“What if someone’s um… well, what if the room’s taken?”

Miles held up a key from his Batman keychain, “I reserved it already… meaning I learned my lesson a few years ago.”

After unlocking the door, he opened it up, letting Juliet into his bedroom. It wasn’t anything huge or overly decorated like Megan’s. If anything, it was simplistic with a bed and nightstand. Some maroon-colored walls with a few posters of dancers decorated the room, but it wasn’t a major mess either.

“Um… also, I uh… well, I don’t have anything to sleep in. I mean, I can sleep in my costume, but it’s still kinda damp and yeah, never mind, I can just deal with it myself,” Juliet said, shaking her head.

Miles chuckled a bit, opening up a drawer, “No worries, you can just borrow some of my stuff for tonight.”

He tossed her one of his shirts and some of his sweatpants. They smelled just like him, and Juliet tried to not think on it too much. It wasn’t like they were going to be sharing a bed. They weren’t even a couple. She couldn’t fall for the first person who treated her somewhat nicely. 

And yet, when he left the room so she could change, she couldn’t help feeling that people who were as nice as Miles were few and far-between. Whether that said more about Miles or the people she knew, she was unsure.

Either way, when the lights turned off that night, Juliet couldn’t help smiling a little bit as she drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think!!! Feedback motivates me to write more!!!


	5. Chapter Five: Books and Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for regular conversations and bonding

_November 1st_

_The last twelve hours have been the most insane and outrageous thus far. Balls are never my thing by any means, but last night had to have been one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Well, maybe not amazing in the normal fashion. Some parts were borderline embarrassing and other parts I had nearly said too much. However, I have learned much and now I know of one person who I could possibly trust. Maybe not right away. It would be naive of me to tell any one person every single thing about me. Especially my destructive powers._

_It turns out that the prince is not nearly as terrible as I had imagined. Princess Megan had always made him out to be a wicked person who was jealous of the throne, but he has no interest in it. In fact, he has no interest in being royalty period. Something which is rare in the kingdom. Everyone wishes to improve their status and to please everyone. Even I want that for myself._

_Seeing someone who wants something else is intriguing, and makes me feel like I might not be as alone as I originally thought._

_Not to mention that Miles is actually a gentleman. And maybe that’s how people are meant to be. Maybe people aren’t supposed to yell at me or say that they’re ashamed of me. Maybe people are supposed to be kind and make sure I don’t freeze to death in front of my mother’s grave. And maybe people do talk for hours about what they enjoy._

_We snuck away from the ball and the prince took me to my mother’s grave. I cried and mourned her right in front of him. Something my father would murder me for doing. He would worry that my powers would show through from the strong emotion, but they didn’t. I didn’t try to do anything._

_And my normal chambers were blocked off from an affair of Megan’s… not that it surprises me. What did surprise me was when Miles let me take his bed instead and that he slept on his floor. Someone who’s supposed to be completely untouchable. I never thought I would ever truly speak to him, and now that I have… I fear that I only want to spend more time with him._

_I doubt he feels the same. He was likely just being nice because he simply isn’t a bad person. I can only imagine that would change if he knew my situation._

“‘Morning,” Miles said groggily, sitting up and looking over at Juliet, “What’re you writing?”

Juliet quickly shut her notebook, “Oh, um… nothing. I-it’s nothing, just a small thing I’ve been working on.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. I’m not gonna try and read it or anything,” he replied, chuckling a little.

She nodded slowly, “Yeah, I would hope not… sorry, I hope I didn’t wake you. I just kinda snuck into Megan’s room and changed clothes and grabbed this.”

“No worries, I sleep like a log, honestly. You’re kind of an early riser, then, aren’t you?” he questioned, glancing at his phone.

Juliet shrugged, “I mean, I guess… I don’t really think about it, I kinda just don’t sleep a whole lot. Well, either that or I sleep too much.”

Wasn’t that an obvious symptom? Sleeping too much or not at all was never a good sign. If only she could have kept her mouth shut for a moment longer. Or if she had just nodded. She already told Miles enough last night. He didn’t need to know about everything that had happened to her. She didn’t even want to know everything that had happened to her.

“Hey, I think that’s true for all of us. Anyways, I don’t know how long you were planning on staying, or if you were planning on hanging out with Megan or going home. Not that there’s any rush. If you don’t wanna go home, I really don’t blame you,” he rambled, running a hand through his blond curls.

She shrugged again, looking at her notebook, “I’m not really sure… I need to go home at some point, and I really don’t want Megan thinking I slept with you or anything. I might stay here for a bit.”

“Hey, if you really want, we could go out for breakfast and I could take you home after. If Megan asks what happened, I’ll just tell her you went home or something,” he offered.

The offer was tempting. It definitely wasn’t a date. There was no way he could be asking her out. Not after the way she had broken down the night before. No one in their right mind wanted to date a girl who easily became a sobbing mess. He was just being nice. It wasn’t like she had very many friends. Being the assistant for the most popular girl in the school didn’t give her nearly as much social status as anyone would have guessed. Not that she wanted it.

“Sure, but I’m paying for myself,” she answered, tilting her head to the side so she could pop her neck.

Miles cringed a bit at the sound, “You’re definitely not paying. And no one should ever make those sounds, ever.”

“I’m paying. End of story. Besides, it’s a totally normal sound. Joints pop.”

He shook his head, standing up, “No, Jules, you’ve had the roughest night I’ve seen someone go through… seriously though, you sound like you need a chiropractor.”

“I’ll pay, it’s chill. I’ve got birthday and some tutoring money saved up too.”

“No. You take care of enough already. Now, I’m gonna take a quick shower and then we’ll get outta here. Megan probably won’t wake up for, like, another two hours. And when she does she’ll be hungover anyways.”

Juliet’s eyes quickly widened, “Shit! I’m sorry, I can’t go then, I gotta give her a hangover cure or something.”

“No, you don’t. You don’t have to do shit for her. She can sleep off her hangover and take some painkillers like everyone else is going to,” he insisted, looking her right in the eyes.

She couldn’t think of anything to say, so she only nodded. Miles just seemed so sure about himself that she didn’t question him. Besides, if everything went the way it was supposed to, Megan would never know about anything. And for once, she wouldn’t have to do everything her friend asked of her. She would get to focus on herself. Something Dr. Johnson had claimed she really needed to do.

So Juliet nodded, “Alright then, well, I’m ready whenever you are.”

When Miles left to go take a shower, Juliet went right back to her journal. She needed to delve deeper into the world that she was creating.

_Frank always says that people may be more accepting of magic than I expect them to be, but I don’t want to take any chances. Besides, sometimes he strikes me as a slightly insane centaur. Then again, beggars can’t be choosers._

_I just don’t want to take chances with the prince. He’s already nice, but I feel like he simply pities me because of my mother. Granted, that’s understandable. Being without a mother has left me in a rather depressing spot, but I also know I kind of put myself where I am anyways._

_My father never neglects to remind me that. He always mentions that if I could just control my powers that we wouldn’t have these problems. As if the fact that I have feelings is in any way his problem. It isn’t his issue, it’s mine. And a part of me still feels like if I left that he would simply pick up his life and move on somewhere else. That he would just forget about me._

_Like how he tries to forget my mother._

_He forbade be from seeing my mother’s grave, but I couldn’t allow that. It’s disrespectful to not mourn the dead. Besides, he was there too. Something tells me that he’s just a hypocrite, and as badly as I wish to confront him on the matter, I know it won’t end well. He’ll accuse me of disobeying him, and I fear what will happen if I do._

_My father is not a violent person. Yet when I suggested going to my mother, he yelled at me for it. I think he’s convinced that it will spark my powers. And they will never go away. Everything I have done isn’t going to just leave my mind. I can’t just cut it out of my mind, that much I know for sure. All I can do is try to look at it in a different light._

The door clicked open and Miles stepped in, “Hey, you ready?”

“Whenever you are,” she said, slipping out of his bed.

She wore a pale pink sweater with black leggings. Juliet had been preparing to need as much comfort as possible for the day after the party, and she did feel warm and cozy in her clothes. Then she grabbed her duffle bag before slipping right into her black flats.

Seeing she was ready, Miles headed out to the garage again, making sure to be quiet when passing his sister’s room just for good measure.

“So… any preferences?” he asked, glancing at Juliet.

“Um… not really.”

People normally didn’t ask what she wanted, so naturally she never knew that answer when that question was posed to her. It wasn’t a problem she realized existed until she started therapy. In fact, she hadn’t even thought it was much of a problem in the first place. Compliance was supposed to be a good thing. Being flexible was supposed to be helpful, not another source of all her issues.

“Okay, do you want actual breakfast food? I mean, it’s, like, ten… so lots of places are open by now. We could get fast food, or we could go to that diner again, or we can go somewhere else… like a burger place. Look, this is gonna be about you. You’re looking a lot better now that you’ve slept some and talked about what’s up, but… are you actually all the way okay yet?” Miles asked as they got into his car.

Juliet shrugged a little, “I mean, I’ve been worse for sure.”

“That wasn’t the question and you know it.”

“Listen, it’s gonna take a lot of self care to make me all the way okay. And that’s my responsibility.”

“Which you obviously haven’t been doing a good job of,” Miles pointed out, “Look, you’re allowed to accept and get help. Especially when no one else is giving you any.”

As badly as Juliet wanted to pay for herself, because she could, she could also tell from Miles’s stare that she was never going to get anywhere. He was right. She would help Megan instead of going to bed at a decent time. And she would obey her father before thinking about if it was a good idea or not. Whether or not she even chose to show how she felt depended on everyone else around her. There were ways around talking about her feelings, and they had worked. Until they didn’t.

“So, what’s it gonna be?” he questioned, turning the key to start the car.

Juliet sighed a bit, chewing her lip, “Um… what about Denny’s or something like that?”

“Works for me,” he replied, pulling out of the garage and onto the road.

Neither of them said a whole lot. It was all just small talk, and Juliet couldn’t help wondering why Miles was being so nice. He didn’t need to be. They had never talked before. Not like they had last night. Hell, Juliet never told anyone everything about her mother. It wasn’t that it was wrong to talk about it, but it was implied that no one would care. That she would just be brushed off. Like when she would talk about a story she wanted to write or a book she was reading.

Maybe Juliet did take things too personally, and when people brushed her off she simply looked into it too much. She didn’t doubt that for a moment. A part of her worried that Miles would quickly realize that she wasn’t like him. That she wasn’t the type of person who lived in a nice house or had the perfect-looking family.

What if Megan made him talk to her? It was a cruel thought, and it was an awful assumption to make. Miles didn’t have to take her to the cemetery or help her after. He didn’t have to do anything. Yet, Juliet had no idea how to ask.

As Miles pulled into the parking lot, he couldn’t help glancing at Juliet every couple of minutes or so. The way she looked so calm made him immediately wonder what was wrong. When things were quiet at home, that meant someone was hiding something. And it was a lot to expect Juliet to outright tell him everything that happened in her life after he had just about ignored her for as long as she had been in his life.

If he hadn’t talked to her in the first place, he wouldn’t have been with her at all during the party. Instead he would’ve minded his own business and made sure Juliet didn’t have alcohol poisoning. It wasn’t that she was unbearable, but there was no reason for him to talk to one of his sister’s friends.

“So… what do you want?” Miles asked as he looked over the menu.

“A short stack of pancakes and… probably some apple juice,” she said, not even looking at the menu.

Miles looked at her, arching an eyebrow, “Do you get the same thing every time?”

“Maybe… is that a bad thing?”

He shrugged, “I mean, not inherently, but it wouldn’t hurt to branch out a little bit and do something out of the ordinary.”

“I don’t normally grab breakfast with  my best friend’s brother after a party.”

“Touche.”

Neither of them asked what the other was thinking. Was this a date? It couldn’t be. Even if Miles was insisting on paying, Juliet wasn’t even sure if she liked him. Sure, he was nice to her for one night, but that didn’t change the fact that he had always considered her to be thoughtless beforehand.

So instead of asking anything at all, they sat in a still silence. One of them would have to say something eventually. However, neither of them said anything until the waiter came up to them, asking what they wanted.

Juliet played around with the paper wrapping that had held her straw. She tried to fold it into as many pieces as it could possibly go to.

“What do you want to do?”

Her head snapped up, “What?”

“After you graduate, I mean… like, what do you wanna go to school for?”

Juliet frowned a little, “You’re really gonna laugh.”

“Try me.”

“I wanna write. I just wanna create stories for a living. And I-I know that my stories will probably never take off, and honestly… I’m kind of okay with that. Well, I say that now, but I’m sure that’ll change. And I can speak Vietnamese almost fluently, so maybe I’ll be a translator on the side. Or maybe that’ll be my main job instead. I don’t know, you just asked what I wanted to do… and here I am, giving you a life story. Um… I’m gonna stop now,” she trailed off, going back to the paper.

Miles frowned, reaching for her hand, “Hey, that’s actually pretty cool. What do you write?”

“That’s the part you’ll probably laugh at… I wanna write a fantasy novel. You see, there’s this girl who’s a sorceress and she’s also the lady-in-waiting to the princess of the kingdom. I don’t have everything sorted out yet, I don’t even know what the plot’s gonna look like, but I wanna write something like that.”

He grinned at her, his face crinkling up a little, “Yeah? That’s amazing! Why would you think I’d laugh at it?”

“W-well because it’s silly. I mean, how many people do you know write stories that amount to anything?”

“Maybe it’s because everyone who I know, had the same thought you’re having right now. And maybe they never wrote anything. Look, it’s hard to write a story that people love when you haven’t written anything.”

The corners of Juliet’s lips turned up in a small smile, “So you think I can do it?”

“Hey, anything’s possible if you actually do it.”

Why was he so nice? Why was he talking to her like this? Juliet hadn’t seen anyone so motivating since she talked to her mother. Even then, that had been months before her mother died. She couldn’t believe that there was someone who was intrigued by the synopsis of a journal she was writing for her therapist.

In all fairness, the only reasons words came so easily was simply because she had the idea floating around her head. If she hadn’t had any ideas, then there wouldn’t have been any words written in that notebook sitting in Miles’s car. A part of her was worried he’d want to read it before she even had the chance to change any of the names.

She didn’t need him knowing she went to therapy or just how much her mother’s death affected her. Or how much she took everyone’s opinions into account. Or how much people influenced her. Or how much she tried to make everyone happy. Though she was unsure if she was successful or not.

When their food came around, they went back to the initial awkward silence. Something about Miles felt like he had some other reason for trying to talk to her. Maybe it was because no one was kind for no reason. He probably wanted something. Whether that was homework or for her to spy on Megan or something else of that nature, she had no clue.

Still, after everything she had admitted about her mother, she hadn’t revealed all that much. Granted, to anyone else, there wasn’t anything to reveal. No one knew about what had happened over the summer and she preferred that it remained that way. She had no idea why the thought of people knowing everything that happened bothered her so much, but her father drilled it into each other that what happened was shameful.

She cut at her pancakes, drizzling syrup over the top of them. Was she shameful? Even if she was a shame to her family, did that really count? She only lived with her father, and even then, she wasn’t sure if she would go home after she left for college.

So much of her life revolved on eventually getting to school. Dr. Johnson claimed that having a goal in mind, a clear goal for the future, would keep her looking forward in life. That it would keep her from what happened over the summer. It was supposed to stop her from everything before that too, but the thoughts still remained.

The warm, sticky sun shining on her. The last remaining memories of her mother.

“You’re awfully quiet,” Miles commented.

Juliet chewed some of her pancake before swallowing, “And your point is?”

“I’m assuming you think a lot, so… what’re you thinking about?”

Juliet almost choked on another piece of her pancake, “Nothing… just, really dumb stuff.”  
“So far, you haven’t said anything incredibly dumb. Maybe you’ve said some things that aren’t true, but you haven’t said anything dumb,” he insisted, eyeing her.

“Um… just about the summer.”

“Oh, cool! What did you do?”

“I uh… I got kinda sick with food poisoning. I was just um… just hoping that didn’t happen again,” she lied.

Whether it was obvious that she was lying or not, Miles didn’t press on it. Maybe he didn’t want to hear her go on about a fake episode of food poisoning for ten minutes while actually eating something. She didn’t want to have to make anything up either. Besides, outside of the one thing she desperately avoided talking about, she hadn’t done much in the first place. Juliet had read a few new books and written a little. Nothing that created a cohesive story, but bits and pieces of something she would possibly write later.

After Miles changed the topic to favorite movies and being outraged over the fact Juliet never saw _The Greatest Showman_ , which he insisted she would have to see eventually, things felt calmer. They were laughing, and occasionally their hands would bump into each other. When that happened, they would both jerk back and pretend like nothing had happened. Something which was easy to do when both of them chose to ignore it.

Even if there was genuine chemistry between both of them, Juliet knew that she couldn’t possibly have a relationship. Not when she was working on moving on from everything that happened. At the same time, would it have been such a terrible thing? She wasn’t supposed to have friends who left her so exhausted over menial things, yet she still stayed around Megan all the time.

Regardless, she doubted Miles would stick around for very long. How was she supposed to explain that she started hanging out with Megan’s brother of all people? People would probably assume something happened at the party.

In that same light, why would anyone care? It wasn’t their business, and it wasn’t like anyone would pay attention to who either of them were around.

Miles wanted to see Juliet again. Well, he knew that he would see her again. He saw her just about every day at school alone, but that didn’t mean they would keep talking. If they kept talking, Megan would probably get involved, sure, but she would get involved with anyone he talked to. That was how she did things. For as long as he could remember, he never truly knew what privacy looked like.

And as much as that bothered him, he also adapted to it. He would get a chance to move out and live his own life outside of his own crazy sister. Away from his parents’ complicated relationship. He almost didn’t care where he moved to, if he could just get out.

He didn’t want to talk to Juliet because of how she obviously needed help. There was no way he could get her to figure out what she actually deserved. It wasn’t like he could stop her from hanging out with his sister. In reality, Miles wanted to see what she would be back when she finally did realize what she deserved.

It wasn’t that he wanted to see her kill Megan or anything. But the thought of his sister finally getting what she deserved for being an awful person was so enticing. He wasn’t planning on saying something to change Juliet’s mind, but he was going to show her what people should have been treating her the whole time. There was no way that would hurt her.


	6. Chapter Six: Change of Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliet isn't the only one with issues

Once breakfast had ended, Miles was in his car, checking his email. He wasn’t trying to avoid talking to Juliet, but he was also waiting to hear from the dance company in Portland. If his audition had gone well, which it must have given he spent months perfecting it, then he would officially be a member once he graduated. Hell, he would be in before he even got a diploma. There was no way he wasn’t getting in. Not after his teacher claimed he was a shoe-in, and he had offers from other dance companies in the first place.

“You waiting for a call or something?” Juliet asked, tilting her head to the side.

What if he was waiting to hear back from another girl? Or what if he was actually gay and was only just being nice? Worse than both of those, what if he just pitied her? Then what was she supposed to do about it?

She couldn’t control what Miles did, and she didn’t want to do anything like that. Juliet couldn’t deny that everything Miles was doing was nice. It was also impossible to deny that she felt that meant something was going to end up going wrong, and she knew that was a wrong thing to think. Still, whenever Megan was nice, she ended up asking a massive favor. Why would this need to be any different?

“Well, ya know how I said something about being a dance teacher, right? Well, I auditioned to get into this dance company in Portland. I’m supposed to hear back around now, so I guess I’m just waiting for the email saying whether I got in or not,” Miles explained, smiling nervously.

Juliet nodded, “That’s really cool! I’ve never seen you dance, but I’m sure you made it.”

“Yeah? Look, I’m sorry, I should probably get you home, that email’s gonna show up whenever it wants to at this point.”

She shook her head, “No, it’s alright. I’m in no rush to get back to my house.”

“Are you sure? Because I’m serious, this can wait for later if we need… oh shit,” Miles stopped himself, his hands shaking.

Juliet smiled a bit, “Maybe I should take it for you… I mean, I could read it, I’m not sure you can really hold anything for that long at the moment.”

“No, you really don’t need to do that. It’s just an email-”

“For something that I’m guessing you worked really hard on. Come on, just let me read it for you,” Juliet insisted, quickly taking his phone out of his hands.

Miles huffed a little, “Okay, fine, it’s the one on the top.”

Juliet nodded, clicking on the email notification and seeing it open up to his email. She thought it would be nice to do something like this for him. Something about the way his hands were shaking told her that he must have worked too hard to not make it. She only got like that when she knew that she worked her ass off on something.

Though when she tapped the email and read it, her face fell a little. He hadn’t made it, and she knew that her face gave it away.

“I’m sorry, Miles…” she trailed off.

Miles chewed on his lip and shook his head, looking forward. “No, don’t be. It’s not your fault. Besides, I gotta get you home.”

“You don’t. I’m only here with you right now because you invited me. I don’t get back home until later sometimes. And I think you need help right now,” she said, reaching to hold his hand.

He quickly pulled his hand away, “No, you don’t need to be around me. I just… I’ll be fine, but I need a minute.”

“W-well yeah, of course you do. I just thought… just thought I’d return the favor.”

Miles looked at Juliet. Was this what Megan did all the time? How could he ever be better than his twin? He was supposed to be showing Juliet how friends were supposed to be like, but there he was, ready to punch a hole through his windshield. Not because he was angry with her, no. He should have made it. How could he not have made it? What if everyone else had been right? Dancing was unrealistic in the first place. Deep down, he had to have known that.

“Miles? Are you good to drive?”

Miles looked back at Juliet, his eyes looking bluer than ever when contrasted with the red in his eyes from tears threatening to spill from his eyes. The last time she saw someone in tears, it was her mother when she was diagnosed with cancer.

Obviously Miles wasn’t going to die of cancer, but Juliet almost never saw anyone cry. Her father refused to let himself cry and would scold her for doing so. And then nothing ever seemed to bother Megan enough to make her emotional enough to cry. It almost felt like she was intruding on something, and she had half a mind to get out of the car before she bothered Miles for any longer. However, she didn’t have any other way to get home, so she stayed in the car.

But Miles blinked back his tears quickly before nodding, “Y-yeah, of course.”

“Then we’re going downtown to the park. Listen, we focused on me already, but you have stuff going on too.”

Miles opened his mouth to protest, but the way Juliet sat back in the passenger seat and looked ahead expectantly prompted him to start driving. Though he still felt like he was just going to be pushing his problems onto her, something he knew she didn’t need. Yet she didn’t seem to mind. He saw how she would shrink back around Megan and look like she was always stopping herself from speaking. She didn’t look like she was intentionally keeping to herself, and he hoped that he wasn’t reading her the wrong way.

“I just… I know when I get really sad or angry about something, being around the pond is pretty helpful. It’s just kinda pretty, and… well, I feel like you need a chance to sort out your mind,” she started, feeling like the silence was piercing despite the music from the radio.

Miles nodded a little bit. He was listening, he really was, but he wasn’t sure if he could talk without choking on tears that still threatened his eyes. If he was going to break down, he didn’t want to do it while he was driving.

Normally it wasn’t like this, if everything had gone right, he would have been fine. Great, even. Of course, the one day he wanted to be helpful he just couldn’t bring himself to calm down all the way. All that work. All those hours. All the critiques. All of it. All of it was for nothing. None of it mattered, and he didn’t want to say that out loud.

Before either one of them knew it, they were pulled into a parking spot. Juliet could only hope that she was being helpful. That she wouldn’t feel like she was wasting his time.

Miles didn’t say anything as he let Juliet lead them to Mirror Pond, figuring that was for the better. Quite a few people were out and walking around, and he wasn’t sure he wanted everyone to see him burst into tears. A part of him was questioning what was going on in Juliet’s head, and he wished he could figure it out.

“Okay, come on, sit down,” Juliet said as she sat on a bench near the shore, patting the spot next to her.

Miles sighed a little, sitting next to her, watching some of the last ducks floating around the pond, “Wh-why a public place?”

“Hiding in plain sight. It’s genius because you could throw a tantrum and people would just ignore you. I mean, no one knows who you are-”

“Until someone recognizes you,” Miles pointed out.

She sighed, “Do you normally come here in the first place?”  
“No, but still… this is such an obvious place.”

“People aren’t going to notice you. The only things that are gonna notice you are me and some birds, I promise.”

“You say that like you come here a lot.”

Juliet shrugged, “Maybe I do. But that’s not important, what’s bothering you?”

“That’s pretty obvious. I-I didn’t get in,” Miles said dryly.

She shook her head, “Obviously, but why does it bother you? Why does it matter?”

“I-I spent so fucking long on all those dance moves and routines and techniques. I used up all of my summer. All of my free time… time I could have spent doing anything else. And everyone kept saying I was a shoe-in, that I would totally have to make it in. And everyone, every single person that said anything like that, was wrong. I was wrong… a-and my parents were right, a-and I’m never getting anywhere and-” Miles cut himself off with a sob.

Immediately, Juliet hugged him, attempting to hold onto him as tightly as she could, feeling him crying. While she didn’t know what rejection felt like, she knew what it was like to crack. She knew what it was like to not have anyone there.

“Th-they were right. M-Megan and my parents… I-I’ll never amount to much.”

Juliet frowned, “No. That’s not true.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because you noticed when I was about to lose my mind and you helped me. You let me ramble on for what felt like forever about all these menial things, and you know what? That means you have to be at least halfway decent. And maybe… maybe you didn’t make into some huge dance company, but do you need that? Do you need to be up there to get where you want to go?” Juliet asked, looking at him in the eyes.

Miles looked away, towards the water, “Look, it’s not even about that at this point. It’s more so about how I wasted my time and my parents’ money.”

“You didn’t waste anything.”

“You’ve never even seen me dance.”

“Well then you’ll have to show me sometime, won’t you?” Juliet pointed out, slowly letting go of him.

He ran a hand through his hair, “Shit, I’m really sorry, I was trying to help you and then this kinda happened and… I don’t normally get like this.”

“You don’t need to apologize for anything. It’s better than you talk about it now, I’d rather you yelled and cried and didn’t just bottle it up. It’s best that you talk.”

Miles smiled the tiniest bit, “You really need to take your own advice, you know that?”

“I’m figuring it out,” she replied, shrugging.

Why in the world someone like Juliet was around his sister was still completely over his head, but he felt wrong asking about it. It wasn’t his place to choose what anyone else did, and Juliet was no exception. Sure, he found himself wanting to be around her for just a little bit longer the more he knew her, but that was hardly important. What was important was making sure that she was going to be okay, and she didn’t look nearly as disoriented as she had the day before.

All he could do was hope that whatever had happened to her was done. Of course, he couldn’t fix anyone’s problems, it wasn’t his place, but he did wish that he could figure out what else was wrong. There was no way anyone who was perfectly normal would act as drawn back as Juliet.

Normal people were shy, but they didn’t physically try to make themselves smaller. That much was obvious to Miles, and he didn’t know how to help. The least he could have done was try to be there for her, and let her tell him what was actually wrong when she was ready, but there she was helping him instead. It left his hands feeling clammy and his throat completely dry.

It was completely lost on Juliet as to why Miles was suddenly deciding to hang out with her. They rarely talked beforehand, and she was still convinced that it had everything to do with Megan. That bothered her more than she was willing to admit. If she was going to hang out with someone, she wanted it to be because of her. Not because of someone she was constantly around.

Was she even friends with Megan? She wasn’t entirely sure, but what she did know was that she had almost no right to question what Megan’s problem was. Why Megan constantly needed her to do everything. It was too late to ask anything like that.

“Um… you know, I think hanging out with you is really great and all, but why now? Sorry, that was too forward, wasn’t it?” Juliet asked, about to move to get up from the bench.

Miles shook his head, “No, not at all… I guess I always thought you were exactly like her. And then I just now started paying attention and I keep seeing you, and you just… you don’t look quite right when you’re around her. I don’t know, I just… I wanna be helpful.”

“And you’re not lying about that, right?”

“Of course not.”

Eventually the conversation shifted to less important things. They talked about their classes and Juliet could feel herself relaxing and Miles noticed she wasn’t as drawn back. That she was talking just as much as he was.

Juliet did have to go home, but she felt like it would end up being okay. If she could just get through everything with her father, then she could get back to school. Something which maybe, just maybe, meant she could get the chance to talk to Miles again.

That was, if he wanted to talk again. The worry only occurred to her just as he pulled up in front of her house.

"So... is this gonna change anything? Like, are we gonna talk after this?" Juliet asked as the car stopped in front of her house.  
Miles nodded slowly, "Yeah, of course. I don't see why we wouldn't."  
"Megan... wouldn't she throw a fit?"  
"Who cares? You're not her property. You should get to be friends with who you want to be friends with. Not her."  
Juliet nodded slowly as she got out of the car and pulled out her duffel bag, "Okay, well, um... see you later then?"  
"Yeah! See ya."  
Miles drove off and Juliet walked into her house, smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Did I just update twice in a row? Yes, yes I did! I would love to know your guys' thoughts. What do you think is going to happen between Miles and Juliet? How is Megan going to react? Feedback is majorly appreciated!


	7. Chapter Seven: Family Conflict

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Siblings might just know best.

A couple of weeks and things hadn't changed all that much. Juliet still didn't know how she was supposed to just say no to Megan. Old habits die hard.  
"How is the journaling going?" Dr. Johnson asked.  
Juliet shrugged a little, "I have some basic things figured out... like, world building and stuff."  
"So, what did you write?"  
She ran a hand through her black hair and looked over at his desk in the corner, "Well... I went with a magical fantasy world. You see, I'm the lady-in-waiting to Megan, who's the princess in the story. And then there's her twin, Miles, so he has to be the prince. And then you're a centaur and I haven't been around many people just yet."  
"Why did you make Megan royalty?" he asked.  
Juliet sighed, "I knew that you would ask that, and I want you to know that's because her mom's the mayor and her dad's the CEO to a huge company. They're basically royalty in their own right."  
"I suppose that could be true, but you said it was a fantasy world and that I'm a centaur. So does anyone else have any magical abilities?"  
She nodded slowly, "Yes, actually, you see, I um... I gave myself magical powers, you know, like a sorceress? Only, magic is illegal in the kingdom and to control my powers, I go to you to help me control my powers."  
Dr. Johnson listened carefully as he took notes, "Of course, but, out of curiosity, are you saying you have powers that need to be controlled because of your depression? Do you feel it's a problem that needs to be illegal?"

“You’re not telling my father about any of this stuff, right?”

“Unless you exhibit behaviors that warrant concern that you may be a danger to yourself or others, it’s illegal for me to tell anyone what our sessions consist of. You can tell me whatever is going on in your mind.”

“Right,” Juliet sighed a little, “I-it’s not that I think that it  _ should _ be illegal. Of course I don’t think that. That would mean that I thought everything I was doing was wrong, and… and that’s not true. But when my father talks about me and my behavior being shameful, well, it makes me feel like it’s supposed to be wrong. Or that he feels it’s a crime.”

He nodded, “Yes, you mention that your father cares about saving face, but do you?”

“I don’t know. I feel like I should. That’s why I’ve never told anyone that I even need therapy, let alone why I do. And I know I don’t have to tell anyone at all, no one has to know. But sometimes I wonder if everyone knew… if that would be better.”

“Have you written about why you need therapy?”

She shrugged, “I mean, it’s not exactly stated. I don’t want to talk about it, not yet, anyways. All I wrote was that I insisted that I needed to control my powers. Mainly because I don’t think I’ll ever really be the same or be able to ignore everything that’s happen… but I also know that doesn’t mean that I can’t make things better.”

“Well it is possible to make a full recovery. Mental illness can be just like regular illnesses of any other kind. It takes time, but with proper care, you can make a complete come-back. We could start medication-”

“My father would never allow that. It was the first thing I tried to tell him after… after everything. I don’t want to get into that fight with him again. He thinks they’re addictive and that they’re cheating and… I can’t bring myself to deal with that,” she explained, rubbing her hands against her skinny jeans.

Dr. Johnson sighed, “We may not be able to get you on medication before you reach adulthood, but in the meantime I can help you in other ways. This is just your current situation, not your permanent one.”

_ November 9th _

_ I’ve no idea what I wish to accomplish when it comes to everything going on around me. All I know is that I need to find a way to simply make it until my eighteenth birthday. The only problem is that it feels like forever and a day away. I’ll likely be away from Megan by that point. _

_ With magic, I know my perception of everything is often skewed, and that isn’t the trouble. The issue is that I also realize that no one else sees things the same way that I do. Which is fine, but I have no clue what to do with myself when I misinterpret a situation. _

_ When I was last with Megan, she kept snapping at me for forgetting basic things. And I know that I shouldn’t have been so neglectful of everything that I was supposed to be doing, but did she have to yell? Did she have to snap at me in front of everyone at lunch? If she kept it up, I felt like I was going to completely make myself disappear. I had no idea what I did to deserve her yelling at me. _

_ So I didn’t stay joined at her hip all day. Is that really such a bad thing? _

_ If things weren’t already bad, I now see Miles looking on as all of this occurs. It’s like he’s waiting for me to say something, but I can’t get words to come out of my mouth. Everything starts to blur together and I can’t quite keep up with my own thoughts whenever I try to think of what I should say to Megan when she starts yelling. _

“Were you paying attention to any of that? I’m guessing not. Honestly, Julie, what the hell is so important in that journal of yours?” Megan snapped, looking at Juliet with a piercing stare.

Juliet shrugged a little, “It’s an English assignment. I needed… I needed some extra credit so I’m writing a short story.”

“That’s a rather long story, isn’t it? I mean, I don’t mean to doubt everything that comes out of your mouth, but you’ve been writing in that notebook since before Halloween, what gives?”

She shrugged again, sinking into the couch of Megan’s living room, “Okay, so maybe I’m trying to work on a novel for fun? Is that really such a bad thing?”

“If it’s distracting you from our homecoming plans, then yes, it’s very bad. I can’t stress that enough, Julie! I need to make sure that you know what’s going on before you get your panties in a twist about being left the third wheel.”

In times like those, Juliet began to wonder why she even stayed around Megan. By all rights, Miles was going to be in the house at any moment in time, and she could have just picked up her things and headed off to his room. What was stopping her?

Megan was never the type to let go of things that happened. She would demand answers from everyone about just when Juliet started to be less of a friend. Then after that, Juliet was positive that Megan would decide that Juliet had somehow done something that was a massive betrayal rather than something that was a long time coming.

There was no way Juliet could get through graduation with Megan barking demands down her neck all the time. It was only a matter of time before she cracked under the pressure of everything. Semester was a couple months away, and Juliet knew that if there was ever going to be a time where things were going to pile up as much as they had before, it was going to be in the winter.

It wasn’t that she had any disdain for the chilly weather. But when finals were coupled with Megan and her father and presents and the pressing fact that she felt like she was still constantly drowning from the weight of everything around her, she knew that she was going to need Dr. Johnson more than ever.

The problem was that Juliet had no clue how she would cut off Megan. How could she leave and then get close with Miles?

At the same time, it felt like there was no way she could be around both of them. They seemed to fight worse than cats and dogs.

“So you’re gonna leave at some point?”

Megan nodded, “Well, yeah, we’re going stag at first so then I can get the best pick of the guys who tried asking me earlier. And then after that, I’ll end up taking someone home. Maybe there’ll be an after party, I’m not quite sure yet.”

“Okay, do I need to go?”

“Well it would be nice. I’ll need someone sober around to make sure things don’t end up going to shit. And don’t think I forgot that you totally left my party early. What the hell was that about?” Megan demanded.

Juliet sighed, “I-I got sick, like, really sick, so I decided it would be better if I left. A-and the only sober person left was Miles, so he took me home.”

It was a massive lie, and Juliet felt like she didn’t have to hide her newfound friendship with Megan’s twin, but she also didn’t want to say something that Megan would potentially have a negative reaction to. Besides, if Miles had simply said she left early, then she wasn’t the only one lying about everything. Somehow, that was comforting.

“Well if you were so sick, then why did you come in the first place?” Megan asked, her blonde eyebrows knitting together.

Juliet shrugged, staring at the cover of her spiral notebook, “You would’ve made me come anyways? I mean, you would’ve assumed I was already drunk.”

“Do you really think that lowly of me?! What the fuck, Juliet! I would  _ so _ not make you go to a party if you were sick! You should have said something instead of playing the damn martyr the whole time!” Megan snapped, blinking quickly.

Juliet opened her mouth for a moment, about to counter everything Megan was saying. It wouldn’t have been the first time Megan forced her to go somewhere. At the same time, what if she was overreacting? What if she was only hurting Megan by trying to say how she felt? Maybe it would just be easier to keep her mouth shut. It was better for everyone if she just didn’t say anything at all.

At least, that was how it felt whenever Juliet tried to say something. It was far from the first time Juliet had tried to say Megan was wrong. She had tried to do just that before. Needless to say, it never went well.

“Well? Are you going to say something? Am I  _ really _ that awful of a friend? Have I done that to you before?” Megan asked, on the brink of tears.

Every single time Juliet tried to tell Megan that she was doing something that hurt her, Megan would become a sobbing mess. She would apologize profusely and offer to get Juliet anything she wanted. Whether it was a matcha green tea latte or a new skirt, Megan would get it. That was the one thing that made Juliet wonder if Megan really meant to be so overbearing.

Juliet quickly shook her head, “No, no, I’m just overreacting. I-I should have just told you. It’s okay, really. We can talk about it later. But really, it’s my fault.”

“No, Julie, stop it! I’m an awful friend and I need to make up for it. Trust me, I’ll try to be more considerate, I swear!” Megan hiccupped, blinking back her tears.

It was almost the same thing every time, but Juliet didn’t know how in the world she could just say no to Megan when she appeared to be so genuine. How could she reject someone who was a sobbing mess? She couldn’t possibly turn away someone in pain. Not when she knew how being alone felt.

The thought of Megan lying about her feelings felt preposterous, and Juliet couldn’t imagine someone faking feelings of inadequacy. Why would anyone want to act like they were less than they truly were?

Right as Juliet was going to say something to console Megan, she jumped up a bit at hearing the door open. Miles walked in the living room seconds later, a workout bag in one hand and his phone in the other. Then he looked up, tilting his head to the side.

“Um… what’s going on?” he asked, going up to both of the girls.

Megan sobbed, “I-I’m such a fuckign terrible friend!”

“Hey, hey, no. That’s… that’s not true, seriously!” Juliet exclaimed, feeling like she was getting nowhere with helping Megan.

Miles squinted his eyes at Megan, almost as if he were trying to see through her. Slowly, he nodded and stood there for a few moments. It took him a bit to figure out how to approach the situation.

“Um… Meg, come with me. I need to talk to you,” Miles said, pulling Megan up from the couch.

He frowned a bit at Juliet. Was she really buying what Megan was doing? It was possible. He didn’t want to think Juliet was an idiot, but he could tell that she was more naive than he thought her to be.

However, he didn’t mention anything until he was in the kitchen with Megan. Knowing from experience of trying to listen in on his parents’ conversations, he knew for a fact that Juliet wouldn’t be able to overhear them without getting caught.

“What the fuck, Meg?!” Miles snapped at a whisper.

Megan let the tears stream down her face, leaving her mascara running down her face, “Wh-what do you mean?”

“We’re twins. Don’t play dumb with me. Look, just because you’ve gotten away with this for years with Juliet doesn’t mean you can play me too,” Miles insisted, forcing Megan to look him in the eyes, “So what the hell are you doing with her?”

Megan glared at Miles, “What’s it to you? You never cared about this before.”

“I never caught you blatantly manipulating her like that before either. It’s a first time for everything.”

“It’s not manipulating. Not if she believes it every single time.”

Miles shook his head, scoffing, “That’s  _ exactly _ what manipulation is! You’re playing with her mind like it’s a goddamn yo-yo. You can’t do that with people. You can’t just do that to her!”

“Seriously, what’s it to you? Like I said. You’ve never asked before and you’ve never talked to her before. Do you actually care about her because of whatever she did with you in that closet?”

“We didn’t  _ do _ anything.”

“Bullshit. I’ve seen the way Julie looks at you. She’s always sneaking these sickeningly longing glances when she thinks I’m not looking. God, she’s so fucking naive that it’s laughable,” Megan replied, chuckling.

Miles blinked, his eyes wide for a moment, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. But we never did anything. I just took her home from the party. It wasn’t like anyone else could have done that.”

“Right. That’s why you’re suddenly so concerned about  _ my _ friend. Don’t you have some Tchaikovsky to listen to or something? I need to fix things with Julie.”

“You can’t just buy her a fucking pair of shoes and expect that to make up for everything that happened between the both of you. Don’t you realize that this is so much deeper than everything you’ve been doing to her?” he asked, his voice lowering.

“Oh my Lord! She’s got you totally whipped. All because of that fucking anime-style sob story. Jesus Christ, Miles! I don’t know what she told you, but she’s totally blowing it out of proportion.”

“Really? How would you react if Mom died? If she just got into a car accident today on the way back from work and then died? Would you bounce back?”

“It would be what she wanted. I’m not the type to let things like that just bog me down! And neither are you.”

“No, I-I’m nothing like you, Megan. Now, I’m gonna go up to my room. Or maybe I’ll be listening in on everything you both talk about. Who knows, but I better not hear you trying to twist her mind around again, you understand that?”

“Seriously. She’s just some girl. You don’t know her like I do and you don’t get to. She’s mine. You have no right to say anything to her, especially if it’s something that would make her hate me.”

Miles stepped back, “Just gonna put it out there, if something I just tell her is enough to make her leave you… maybe you’re just as shitty of a person as you’re claiming to be.”

He turned around, heading up the stairs before going to his room. In that moment, it didn’t even matter that it was Juliet who was being hurt. The thought of Megan trying to abuse someone at all was enough to make him feel sick. What was even sicker was that he knew that she learned it from their parents.

Sometimes he was grateful he caught his dad cheating when he had. It left him more aware of everything around him. 

“What was that about?” Juliet asked, looking up from her notebook that she was writing in.

Megan shrugged, “Oh, just some regular old-fashioned family drama. You know the deal with that, don’t ya?”

“I mean… I suppose, do you wanna talk about it?” she questioned, closing her notebook.

She shook her head, “Nope. I’d rather forget about it. Come on, let’s go to the mall or something. I owe you big time for everything you’ve done for me, Julie! I just need a sec to fix my makeup. You wait right there, hun!”

Megan sprinted up to her room, and Juliet could already tell that it was going to be a little while. And as much as Juliet wanted to follow Megan so she wouldn’t be stuck on her own, she also felt like she needed a moment to herself. If nothing else, to make herself feel like she wasn’t going insane.

A part of her wished she had tried to listen in on what Megan and Miles were talking about. It didn’t take a whole lot of brain power to know they were talking about her. Neither of them seemed to be great with subtlety. Not that it normally bothered her, but if she was such a problem, why didn’t they just say so?

She went back to her notebook as she tried to think of what in the world she was supposed to write. How was she supposed to describe everything? How was she supposed to justify not standing up for herself?

When she heard footsteps, Juliet was snapped out of her thoughts. Expecting to see Megan, she was taken aback to see Miles tiptoeing down the stairs.

“Um… hey?” Juliet greeted with a small smile.

Miles sat next to her on the couch, “Hey, you doing alright? I’m sorry about that. Meg’s just… she’s not the most honest.”

“She’s fine. She made a mistake, but she’s making up for it.”

“How often does she do that, though?”

Juliet shook her head, “That hardly matters.”

“Of course it matters, jeez, Jules, think about it.”

She nodded slowly, “Yeah, she’s really lonely. And maybe she doesn’t know how to be a great friend, but no one’s perfect.”

“I don’t think you get it. She thinks you’re a fucking joke. And I can almost see why.”

Juliet’s gaze hardened, “A-and what’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know… she’s going to Cornell after graduation, right?”

She laughed a little, “No, that’s not… she can’t be. She doesn’t do any of her own work. She doesn’t have any idea how to do some of that stuff.”

“But you do. And you did everything for her. You got her into an ivy-league. You should be the one going, at least, that’s what I thought. But if you just think you’re being a good friend… well, then maybe I was wrong.”

“You  _ really _ think that you’re being so much better than her by telling me this? What am I supposed to do with that information? I can’t do anything. I’m not going to Cornell, shit, I’m too poor for that. I’ll be lucky to go to Eugene next fall! Maybe it sucks that things are going like this… but… I can’t change that.”

Miles pursed his lips, “Yes you can. But you have to prove everything you did for her and show academic dishonesty. I was hoping you’d do that.”

“And then what? Ruin the  _ one _ friendship I have? If she’s not cut out for the school because I’ve helped her  _ that  _ much, then won’t she just drop out?”

His face fell, “What do you think I’m doing here, trying to talk to you right now? I’m trying to be your friend.”

“Yeah? Then why does it feel like you're trying to tear me apart from one of my friends?” Juliet asked. 

Miles sighed, “It's not tearing you apart if she's done nothing but hurt you.”

“How has she hurt me?”

“Christ, Jules, all she's been doing is hurting you. And you don't notice it because she cries when you try to point it out. She's always manipulating you, and she overpowers you so much that you always shrink back around her. You don't say anything.”

Juliet frowned, looking down, “Then how am I supposed to know you're not like her? How am I supposed to know that anyone's not like her?”

“You'll know because I'll prove it to you. And I would prove it to you all the time if you would let me,” Miles told her, his hand cupping her face so it was tilted up towards his own. 

Juliet was looking at his face, analyzing every feature. Most important of all those, she was staring at his eyes. They were so blue she couldn't stop herself from staring. And he felt herself moving closer and then she felt his breath hot against her face. Her eyes fluttered shut at the same time as his.

Then the sound of a door opening snapped them apart from each other. Quickly, Miles stood up and rushed off to the kitchen.  It made Juliet wonder if any of that was supposed to happen. Hell, did she even like Miles?

Miles stood in the kitchen, silently cursing himself. Why did he have to try and kiss her? He didn't want to complicate things more than they already were. It was obvious Juliet thought that simply talking to him was wrong and forbidden.

It wasn't that was illegal for her to be friends with his sister and be with him. But Megan had a way of making everything seem like a larger deal than it really was. Meaning that Miles wasn't planning on getting anywhere with Juliet.

Not that that was his plan. It hadn't been. He hadn't counted on finding her to be someone he could be so honest with so quickly. She was someone he wanted to be around, but he wasn't sure if he would be able to even be her friend with Megan around all the time.

“What's that look for?” Megan asked as Juliet got up.

Juliet shrugged a little, “What look?”

“Like you've just been told a massive secret. Oh, come on! I just told you how inadequate I feel and you're really gonna keep secrets from me, Julie? What the fuck?!” Megan exclaimed.

Juliet swallowed, shifting her weight, “Um… I think I need to go. Yeah, my dad's gonna kill me if I stick around here for too much longer. He um… he needs me home. Sorry!”

With that, Juliet practically ran out the door without another word. She didn't even bother to think how cold the walk home was going to be. In that moment, she didn't care.


	8. Chapter Eight: Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Megan is kinda awful

By the end of the next week, things were once again back to normal. Juliet almost doubted that the conversation between Miles and herself ever even happened. If it had, then surely more would have come from it. There was no way she had almost kissed him. Maybe he didn't like that she was friends with Megan, but that was his problem. Wasn't it?

The homecoming dance was right around the corner. Literally, she sat in Megan's car as she drove into the school parking lot. {It was the last place Juliet wanted to be, but she was also aware that she didn’t really have much of a choice in the matter. She would likely stand around and stay with Megan until she found someone. Then she would just be all alone again.

However, a part of her wondered if that was such a bad thing. Maybe she did need more time to collect her thoughts instead of being around Megan. Maybe Miles had been right the whole time and she just wasn’t listening. If he was right, then that meant she was losing her only friend.

Sure, she talked to other people, but she was never around them for as long as she had known Megan. It was like letting go of something from her childhood. Juliet felt like it was wrong to do something like that. Her thoughts clouded over her as she looked down at the dark purple skirt of her dress. Floor length like Megan had insisted upon. She wore silver heels that knew were going to give her blisters by the end of the night. There was a reason she stuck to her simple flats.

“Okay, so, I have a few different options tonight, and I don’t want you screwing up any of them. So, just, keep yourself out of everything. Shit, maybe I could even get you that hook up you’ve been needing,” Megan said, thinking out loud.

Juliet shook her head, “No, really, I don’t wanna get with anyone tonight.”

“Really? Because I keep seeing you look over at Miles pretty weirdly. Either you have a major problem with him, which is totally fair, or you’re head over heels for him. Honestly, if it’s the latter, I’d give it up. He likes this one girl that he goes to his dance classes with. Between you and me, I think they have a great time. Dancing, ya know? Probably means they’re flexible.”

“I-I think you’re just seeing things, Megan. Don’t get me wrong, Miles is chill and all, but I don’t have any feelings towards him,” she insisted, her hand on the door handle.

Megan squinted her eyes, “Right… then none of that’s gonna bother you.”

In that moment Juliet wanted to disappear. She wanted to sprint out of the car and run somewhere else. Anywhere but that damn dance. There was no way she’d be able to face Miles. If he was seeing someone else after he tried to kiss her. But had he tried to kiss her? Or was she trying to kiss him?

Was any of it really his fault? The whole time Miles had been being nice, sure, but he also seemed like the type of person who was just naturally nice. It was refreshing for sure, but she didn’t like the thought of someone else having been in that same bed where he slept. She didn’t like the thought of him doing something with some other girl. Some other girl who she didn’t even know. A girl who could be at the dance.

{Miles had gone to the dance only because Megan promised to do the dishes for a month straight if he went. What concerned him was that she never made deals. She had something in mind, but he had no idea what that was supposed to be. At the same time, Juliet was going to be there. If worse came to worse, he would hang out with her.

A part if him thought about talking about how he felt towards her. It was definitely more than just a friendship, but he worried that he was rushing things. That she wouldn't be ready for a relationship. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel like he was pressuring her. He didn't want to be like Megan. He didn't want to manipulate her.

When Megan walked into the school, she looked like a pop diva. Her blonde hair neatly curled and her porcelain skin looked flawless. The sparkly teal dress she wore stood out against her skin and shone so brightly under the lights. It was easy to see why guys went right up to her. Somehow, the bright pink lipstick she wore didn't clash against anything.

Although, Miles would have argued Juliet looked far more stunning. He couldn’t quite figure out the right way to describe what she looked like, but the plum-colored dress added a certain type of color to her already tanned skin that he hadn’t noticed before. Her black hair seemed to be brushed like it always was, but there was a certain wave to it. Regardless of what or who she looked like, he felt like he needed to ask her for at least one dance.

Surely there was going to be a point where Megan was too distracted to notice what either of them were doing. And was it really a crime to dance with the girl he’d been talking to for a couple of weeks? Besides, it wasn’t like he was asking to marry her, he just wanted to be closer to her.

Yet, when he looked at her, she wasn’t exchanging glances with him like she had been doing. Maybe it had to deal with something else, but he could also see her eyes darted all over the place as though she were trying to think of some sort of escape route.

For once, Juliet succeeded in not looking over at Miles every five minutes. Instead, she glanced at him once, but she saw he was by himself. At the same time, she wondered if the girl Megan had been talking about was there just yet.

Then she saw someone walk up to Miles, and Juliet’s jaw nearly dropped when she saw Veronica. Even though it wasn’t a betrayal, it still felt like one.

“You don’t normally come to these things. What’s up, Taylor?” Veronica asked, raising her eyebrows.

Miles shrugged, “Meg said if I showed up, she’d do the dishes for a month. And I’m really looking at this one girl.”

“It’s Juliet, isn’t it? God, she thinks she’s so subtle about what she thinks of you, but she’s my tutor and she somehow always manages to slip you into the conversation. It’s almost annoying, but also kinda endearing. I think it keeps her from driving herself up a wall,” Veronica commented.

He tilted his head, “Wait… she talks about me?”

“Yes! Of course she does, she’s totally into you, Miles. Go over and talk to her. Or are you gonna let your sister stop you?”

Juliet couldn’t help wondering what was going on in that conversation over there. Were they talking about all the times she may have said something about Miles before? And how she was a complete idiot for even thinking she stood a chance?

Megan was off grinding on one of the football players, and she had sent another one in Juliet’s direction. It seemed that Megan was being more insistent on getting Juliet someone that night than she had been on Halloween. She had no idea how to tell this guy who was at least a foot taller than her and far more muscular than she could ever be, that she wasn’t interested. That, in reality, she was only interested in one person that she was starting to doubt she would ever get to be with.

The guy was barely even talking to her, but he had his arms wrapped around her waist as though he’d known her the whole time. It made her want to throw up and she felt her heart racing. Not in the same way that it raced when she was around Miles or was getting to a good part in her writing. It raced the same way that it did when she felt like her father was two words away from yelling at her or when Megan started piling on everything she needed Juliet to do.

“You know, you don’t gotta be such a prude. I’d bet anything you’re killer in bed, you just need to loosen up,” they guy said, his breath hot on her ear.

Juliet could barely swallow and she felt her skin crawl, “I-I’m really not… I don’t want to… I mean-”

“You’re one of those girls, huh? Do you go to church or something?”

Juliet couldn’t say anything, but she felt herself leaning on the guy only because she knew that she would fall on her face from how shaky her legs were getting if she did anything else.

“I’ll tell you what, we get a couple drinks in you and then see how you feel,” he suggested, his hands starting to sink lower and lower.

Miles could see what was going on and he shook his head, “I don’t know what’s getting into her. That guy’s no good for her. He’s one of the guys Megan’s brought home before.”

“Um… she’s not trying to get with him. Are you blind? She looks like she’s about to pass out with that guy on top of her,” Veronica noted, sitting at one of the cafeteria tables set up.

Miles frowned, “You think so? But then why would she-”

“Juliet can’t stand up for herself, Megan probably set this up. She probably wants nothing to do with that guy,” she replied, laying her head down on the table.

Miles squinted, trying to look closer, “You really think so?”

“Yes! And you should go save her before that guy takes her out of the dance. Go on, Prince Charming, work your magic.”

Miles didn’t need to be told twice. He got up from the table and walked over to where Juliet was dancing with the guy. It was too dim to tell who it was, but it wasn’t too dim for him to tell that Juliet’s face didn’t have much, if any, color to it. He was cursing himself for not seeing what was going on sooner.

“Hey, I think I can take this over for you,” Miles said to the guy.

He looked over at Miles before shaking his head, “Nah, I already got her. Is that a problem or something?”

“Um yeah, actually, I don’t think she wants some stranger grinding up against her,” Miles replied, standing up straighter.

He ran a hand up and down Juliet’s back, “Why don’t we see what the girl has to say about it? If she doesn’t say no, it’s more than okay.”

Juliet’s eyes darted back and forth between the guy and Miles. She wanted to wrench herself out of the guy’s arms, but she didn’t have the strength. There was no way she would be able to get him off of her. Not when she couldn’t form a cohesive sentence. She was frozen, wishing that she could just turn herself invisible or shrink so much that no one would find her.

It was hard for her to pay attention to the exchange when all she could hear was her heart beating at a million miles an hour. She could hear the bass of the music and she could see Miles was talking to the guy who was now gripping her even harder. Only she couldn’t get herself to speak or step back, and she tried to open her mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

“Dude, it’s obvious she isn’t into you. Just let her go,” Miles said, reaching to get the guy’s hands off of Juliet.

The guy seemed to harden his grip, “Look, I just came here to have fun. She’ll be into it in a little bit. Go back to wherever the hell you came from.”

“You’re freaking her out, let her go!” Miles snapped, finally reaching and pulling Juliet back.

She staggered back, her eyes darting between both males. A part of her felt like she could breathe, but another felt like there was a gnawing at her stomach. Juliet almost felt bile crawling up her throat and she quickly went to the bathroom.

When she got there, she didn’t even close the stall. Juliet hacked over the toilet, but nothing came up. Something which was likely for the better since she didn’t have her hair pulled back. Tears stung at her eyes and she blinked them back, and she tensed up when she felt a hand on her back.

“Hey, Miles sent me… he thought it would be weird if he followed you to the girl’s bathroom, are you okay?” Veronica asked, pulling her hand back.

Juliet looked up, shaking her head, still trying to figure out a way to speak.

“I just can’t believe someone did that to you. It’s bullshit, actually. You’re way too smart and nice for something like that. I mean, I know we’re not super close or anything, but please tell me you weren’t actually about to go with that guy.”

Juliet shrugged, “I-I didn’t… I didn’t want to, but I didn’t get a say. He wasn’t letting me finish a-and he was against me and… sorry. I didn’t mean to get Miles involved.”

“Hey, he thought that you were with that dude on purpose. I got him to go in and help you out, actually,” Veronica explained, helping Juliet off of the floor.

Juliet blinked, getting up, “Wait… I thought you and Miles were a thing.”

“Shit, who came up with that one? I would  _ never _ date him. If I had to pick a twin, I’d definitely choose Megan,” she replied with a smirk.

Juliet sighed, “Shit, I’m so sorry, that was so stupid… I just… Megan said that Miles was only showing up for this girl he kept bringing home.”

“Oh, well, I do hang out with him, but that’s just because we’re practicing for dances and stuff. Megan’s beautiful, but she’s a mythic bitch,” Veronica claimed, leading Juliet out.

She nodded, “I mean, I guess. Anyways, I think I might just leave before something else happens.”

“Hey, you’re all prettied up and you’re already here. Come on, just stay out for a couple more songs.”

It didn’t take much to convince Juliet to stay. Especially when she was now convinced that Miles quite possibly liked her. At the same time, she felt like she shouldn’t think about being with anyone at all. She was far from stable enough, but at the same time, she was working on it.

Miles stood up when he saw Juliet and Veronica come back, and he walked up to both of them. A part of him couldn’t believe what had just happened. There was no way Juliet decided to get herself into that situation, the whole incident had his sister’s name written all over it. He had half a mind to pull her from whatever guy she was making out with and demand just what she had been thinking.

Instead, he was greeted with a tight hug from Juliet. Her head was buried in his chest and he held her. When he glanced up, he got a wink from Veronica and he rolled his eyes a little. He wasn’t trying to protect Juliet because he felt like he deserved her. He just didn’t want to see her get hurt, and if she liked him, then that was even better.

“Thanks, I-I never would’ve gotten… I don’t like I could have… I would still be there,” Juliet stammered, slowly letting go of him.

He smiled a bit, “It’s nothing, seriously, people shouldn’t do that to you.”

With Veronica and Miles, there was a completely different environment to the dance. It wasn’t as intimate as it had been when it was just Miles and herself. If anything, it was more light-hearted. Juliet was laughing with them and getting up to dance when a good song came on.

That was how she learned Miles really was quite the dancer. Also that he loved eighties song. Something she never would have guessed in the first place. However, she couldn’t help her face heating up when a slow song came on.

“Hey, my feet are killing me, so I’m gonna chill for a sec,” Veronica said before going to the table and sitting down.

Miles looked at the floor and then back at Juliet, “Um… do you maybe wanna, um… I don’t know, do you wanna dance?”

“Sure.”

Juliet felt her heart going faster when she was so close to Miles. It felt different than being pressed up against the guy from earlier. Miles had such a light hold on her, and he was guiding her to the music. Only, it wasn’t like a regular, generic slow dance. It was like Miles was trying to show off everything he knew about ballroom dancing. With spinning her around and dipping her so carefully. It felt like the world finally stopped spinning. Just for a moment.

Still, she held onto every second, even the times when she could only barely keep up with Miles. Dancing with him felt more like they were creating art rather than being close together for the sake of being close together. She wished the song didn’t have to end, that she could just stay in his arms.

“Um… sorry I wasn’t keeping up that well,” Juliet said, glancing up at him.

Miles chuckled a bit, “You did great, actually. You’re sure you’ve never had any dance lessons before?”

“I’m pretty sure… you have to be joking though, there’s no way that I was any good.”

“Hey, you did just fine, of course you weren’t perfect. I wouldn’t expect that.”

Veronica smirked, looking between the both of them, “So, how was the dance?”

Miles and Juliet exchanged glances, trying to figure out what to say. Though, instead of saying anything at all, Miles excused himself to go get some water.

“He’s  _ so _ into you. You see it, right?” Veronica questioned, looking at Juliet.

Juliet shook her head, “No, he’s just being nice. Even if he did like me, I doubt anything would happen. With Megan always paying attention to what I’m doing, I doubt anything will happen.”

“Why do you care so much about what Megan thinks? She obviously doesn’t care about you. She treats you like garbage. You know, I used to think you both were in a relationship for awhile. Then I noticed that she goes out with too many guys for you two to be a thing.”

“It really doesn’t matter who she sleeps with,” Juliet defended.

Veronica shook her head, “No, of course it doesn’t. That would be super hypocritical of me to say, but the point is that either way, you’re in an abusive relationship with her. And something like that, needs to stop. You can’t even understand genuine affection when it’s right next to you.”

“You really think miles likes me?”

“Oh, it’s only a matter of time before he asks you out on a date or kisses you or something. Unless you don’t want that.”

Juliet shook her head, “I don’t know… I mean, I think I’d like being with him, but I’m also worried about so many other things like-”

“Megan stuff? Fuck her, honestly. You know what? She’s a mythic bitch and I would know best. At one of her little parties, she put me in the same pile as all the guys during the Halloween party. It’s like she was assuming I was lesbian. Which, she’s totally right, but she didn’t even ask if I wanted to play or anything,” Veronica replied, huffing.

Juliet frowned, “I know she’s a little bit sketchy sometimes and she has a bit of a temper, but I’m not sure what she’d do if I just stopped being her friend. Can you imagine how difficult and awkward it would be if I suddenly started showing up with Miles all the time?”

“So you’re gonna let  _ that _ stop you? Oh,  _ hermana _ , you have a lot going against you, you shouldn’t drop the good things just because they’re difficult to get to.”

Miles came back, sitting with both of them, “Okay, I say we get out of here now before things get any crazier and I get any more traumatized.”

“ _ Que paso?  _ What happened?” Veronica asked.

He sighed, burying his face in his hand, “Megan happened. God, I thought if she was doing anything she’d just do it at the house, but nope. In the hallway.”

“What the fuck?!” Veronica exclaimed.

Juliet’s eyes widened and she felt her face heating up at the thought of her friend having sex in one of the hallways of the school. It was enough to make her feel a bit queasy.

“You didn’t tell anyone, did you?” Veronica asked.

“No! If I did that, I’d never hear the end of it. But I’m voting that we get the hell out of here before anything else happens,” Miles insisted, standing up.

Juliet nodded, “Yeah… I remember last year a used condom got thrown onto the dancefloor last year. It was so disgusting.”

“Yeah, I definitely remember that one. I don’t wanna be here when that happens again. I’m voting some hot chocolate,” Veronica said, looking between Miles and Juliet.

The trio left the school, getting into Miles’s car. He let Juliet into the passenger seat and Veronica wiggled her eyebrows at Juliet as she got into the backseat, messing around with the poofs of her cream colored dress. They continued laughing and talking about all the weird things that had happened to them. Nothing bad or traumatic. Just the gross and weird times, which there were a surprisingly large amount of for each of them.

Once at the diner, Veronica checked her phone, having to excuse herself because she allegedly had to be at her house right away and her mother was right outside waiting. Though, both Juliet and Miles had a gut feeling that wasn’t quite the case. Not that either of them minded being alone together. It was refreshing to be around Miles without feeling like things had to be serious.

Miles had liked Juliet for how she was reserved yet obviously intelligent, but it was also nice to see her smile and not crying. Granted, the night had started off rocky and he was still careful with her, trying to not hold onto her too tightly or do anything that would potentially hurt her.

She hadn’t mentioned the dance from earlier, not even wanting to think about the guy Megan had tried to set her up with. Every time it popped into her head, she couldn’t stop thinking that there was no way Megan would set her up with someone who would hurt her. But then why had he held her so tightly? Why wouldn’t he let her say anything? Why hadn’t she been able to say anything?

Juliet started at her hot chocolate, but she didn’t have tears in her eyes. Instead she was simply thinking. Trying to figure out if she really had to choose between Megan or Miles. More importantly, if she had to choose, who would she pick?

Miles seemed like the obvious answer. When they finally started talking, it was obvious that he was a decent person. That he had way more goals than Megan did and that he worked harder than her. But then there was the sake of continuity and getting through the last stretch of high school that kept her tied to Megan in the first place.

“You’re thinking an awful lot,” Miles commented, taking a drink out of his cup.

Juliet shrugged, “Isn’t that what brains are supposed to do?”

“Maybe… but you seem to be thinking more than the normal amount. What’s up?”

“That’s the problem. I don’t really know. I mean, everything’s actually pretty good right now. I mean, except for… I’m not gonna get into that. Just… what bothers me the most about it was that Megan set me up. And I never thought she would do anything that would hurt me.”

Miles frowned, “I’d say that she’s already done plenty to hurt you.”

“But I don’t think she meant to.”

“Jules, if she didn’t want to hurt you then she would have let you stay home. Hell, she would have let me stay home.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Miles sighed, “She talked me into coming. Some chores and whatnot, but I don’t know why.”

“She said you were there because you were waiting for some other girl to show up. And I thought it was Veronica actually, which was super dumb,” Juliet said, laughing a bit.

“Well, I’ve gotta say, if I was waiting for any other girl, it would have to have been you.”

Juliet couldn’t breathe for a moment, “W-wait, you’re joking, right?”

“No, not at all.”

“Come on, you don’t actually like me, do you?”

Miles looked at her, “Of course I do, I’ve liked you for weeks now, ever since we started talking. Haven’t you noticed?”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t lie to you about that.”

“So are we… are we kind of dating or something?” she asked, scolding herself for deciding to ask.

He shrugged, “If that’s what you want, then I’d like that a lot. But we don’t have to be anything if you don’t want that.”

“No, I-I think I’d like that a lot, actually.”

It only took two seconds for Juliet to make up her mind. Obviously she didn’t want Megan to be angry with her, but Megan had also almost gotten her hurt. Whereas Miles had been right there when she needed him. She could tell jokes with him and she could just talk to him and not feel like he was over analyzing every single thing that came from her mouth.

He didn’t make her do his homework or force her to hang out when she didn’t want to. Hell, they had barely hung out since the Halloween party.

Miles looked at Juliet smiling and his blue eyes glinted brightly, “You mean that?”

“Yeah, of course I do.”

When they walked out of the diner, their hands just barely brushed against one another’s. Miles didn’t take her hand just yet, he worried she was still shaken up after the night. Still, that didn’t stop him from smiling and glancing over at Juliet just to see how her face looked when they drove through the various streetlights.

“So, I forgot to ask, where are we headed?” Miles questioned.

Juliet sighed, “I was supposed to be the one sober person at Megan’s party tonight. So I guess your house.”

“You know you don’t have to do that, right?”

“Yeah, I know. I’m not gonna do anything, actually. I kinda just wanted to get out of my house for a little while.”

Miles nodded, “Well, we can certainly do that.”

The ride back was filled with them continuing to talk. Not about anything important, but simple conversation that kept the radio drowned out the whole time. Juliet tried to avoid saying anything about Megan, though. She had no idea what she was supposed to do about her friend.


	9. Chapter Nine: Something's Cooking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some simple fluff

Officially being with Miles made it so she knew that she had other friends. Talking to Veronica outside of tutoring showed her that she could potentially make other friends. Hell, she could likely befriend Chris later on as well. She would have more friends than she had ever truly had before. The thought was comforting to a point. 

If it wasn’t for her, then who would Megan be friends with? There wasn’t anyone else Megan really talked to aside from her. Sure, Megan was known by everyone, but that didn’t make her loved by everyone.

_ November 14th _

_ I might have committed what is either the most heinous crime or made the best possible decision. Is it blasphemy for me to leave Megan to be with Miles if they’re both royalty? That sounds unlikely, but could I ever be close to both? Do I even want to be close to both? I’m unsure. _

_ It is obvious that Miles cares for my well being more than Megan does. She simply sent me off to the first guy she saw. He almost… I do not wish to write about it. If it was an almost then that means I should be fine. What matters is that I am safe. Miles assured me of that much. _

_ He doesn’t know about my abilities just yet. I don’t plan on telling him. If he can’t tell, then that must mean that it is all over with? I can only imagine how he would react. But if I feel he’ll react negatively, then should I be with him? _

_ I was so caught up in the adrenaline from the dance and the way he gently swirled me around the ballroom that I didn’t think any of this through. And yet here I am, sitting on his bed again. He still took the floor. He worried that I was only saying I was okay with sharing because I felt pressured. Truth be told, I didn’t. The prince is easily one of the kindest people I have met. _

_ Then there was Veronica who predicted the entire event. I thought for certain that she was wrong and that there was absolutely no way that a prince would be interested in a lady-in-waiting like myself. Clearly I was wrong. It is like she has some kind of gift for seeing into the future. _

_ I believe that my mother was like that before she died. That she somehow knew everything that was going to happen before anyone else. It must have been too heavy a burden to carry. She never seemed to tell us of her impending death. Yet, when it was told to all of us, she did not seem surprised. I was never given the chance to ask why that was. _

_ It was one of the many reasons I turned to necromancy. _

_ There were so many questions I had that weren’t answered. Questions that only she would know the answer to. Whether it was bringing her back to me or bringing myself to her, I did not care. I never thought of the consequences for a single moment and that was fine by me. All I knew was that without those answers, I would never be able to smile or sleep or eat or even think again. I became obsessed with knowing more. And questions continued to pile onto one another as time passed. _

_ No one realized my state. Or that my powers were growing at an out of control rate. I wish that I had realized that on my own. However, I feel that even if I had known what was happening that i wouldn’t have done anything about it in the first place.  _

_ After time and time again, ritual after ritual, I didn’t bring back my mother. No one saw the tears I shed or the nights I stayed up until the early hours of the morning. No one ever seemed to care. Is it bad to blame them? If someone had caught on earlier… perhaps I could have stopped myself. _

_ The only way I could bring her closer was by releasing the pain. Something my father never taught me how to do. My mother left before she could teach me. So I did the only thing I could think of. I would bleed and I would let myself hurt for hours. No one noticed. Still, no one notices the remnants of those days and I choose to not speak of them.  _

_ If no one ever knew, then I clearly never did anything in the first place. _

_ It wasn’t until one day that I found the perfect way to bring myself to my mother for good. It was everything I had been looking for. I wouldn’t be in pain, no one would yell at me. I wouldn’t be treading around my own house with my father, just barely keeping back everything that I was feeling. _

_ I concocted the perfect potion out of things simply lying around the house. I stayed in my room and my father thought nothing of it. Megan had left the kingdom and she insisted that she was only to go with family. I was all alone. It was the most ideal time. _

_ There was nothing but pain and without my mother, I had no one to turn to. No one would have cared at the time, and I feel that people would only chastise me now. It hurts to think that, but I know it to be the truth. _

_ So I made the potion and I had a letter written. Well, there were two. One for my father and the other for Megan. _

_ I told them that I was okay and that I would finally get the answers to the questions to everything that I had always wondered. It was perfect and I would never have to hurt again. _

_ And yes, I did drink the potion, and if it hadn’t been near dinner and if it hadn’t been for my father’s quick thinking, I would likely be dead. _

_ He attempted to have everything handled discreetly. Purging me of the poison I filled my body with. Yet, all he could do was demand why I had done it. _

_ Honestly, I am still unsure. I wish I knew. _

“You’re up early, aren’t you?” Miles asked, sitting up from the floor.

Juliet shrugged, “I suppose you could say that… I don’t know, though.”

“It’s like, six in the morning. What’re you writing?” he asked, getting up and sitting next to where she lay on his bed.

She quickly closed the notebook, “Oh, um… nothing, it’s really nothing.”

“If it’s nothing, you wouldn’t be trying to hide it. But if it’s private, I understand.”

Juliet sighed, running a hand through her tangled hair, “It’s kind of private… I mean, it’s really just me writing about what’s going on. You know, how I feel about things and how I get through them. Fun stuff like that.”

“Well, I hope you have good things to say about me in there,” Miles replied with a grin, wrapping an arm around her.

A part of Juliet wished that it were that simple and that she was only worried about whether or not Miles had liked her. Or something that was seemingly petty and superficial. That she wasn’t writing some sort of journal for therapy. Would he change his mind about her if he knew? The only way to know was by asking, but she didn’t want to complicate things. Not when they were going so well in that moment.

So instead of trying to say anything, Juliet hugged him tightly, her face buried in his chest. He held her close, playing with her hair a little bit. While Miles did want to know what she wrote down, he wasn’t about to read it. If she was closing it and not exactly letting him look at it, then it was obviously private. And he was going to do everything that he could to prove that he was nothing like Megan.

Obviously, he would have to show that rather than specifically say it, and he felt like he was doing a decent job. Granted, the bar was set unbelievably low after the last night. With the way she acted, it was like no one had ever tried to be somewhat nice to her. He didn’t know how to tell her that the way he was treating her was the way anyone should treat her. Miles wished that he could figure out how to tell her, but he also wished that she would believe him when he finally figured it out.

“So… breakfast, I’m thinking that we could make some pancakes. I’ve never done it before, but if I’m moving out, then I figured that I should learn,” Miles said, his blue eyes shining brightly.

Juliet stared at him, incredulous, “You’re telling me that you’ve  _ never _ made pancakes before? You’ve gotta be joking.”

“Afraid not, but with that reaction, I’m assuming that you have. So, would you like to do that?” he asked, looking at her.

“You know what? Why not,” Juliet replied, shaking her head.

No matter how hard he tried to act like he didn’t have everything handed to him on a silver platter as a child, it always showed. It wasn’t that Juliet minded, it was refreshing that someone so close to Megan turned out to be so down to earth. Only, the closer she got to Miles, the more she found it hard to believe that she had convinced herself that he had completely hated her in the first place.

Miles reached over and found his glasses, putting them on, not paying attention to how Juliet was staring at him.

“I didn’t know you wore glasses.”

He looked over, pushing up his glasses as he chuckled, “Yeah? Well I can’t wear contacts all the time.”

“They’re cute, actually… I think you should wear them more,” she told him, feeling her face heating up as she spoke.

They were both convinced that Megan was passed out and hungover from last night, and they sent off anyone else who had stayed after the party the night before. Things had gone almost exactly like they had during Halloween. Though, neither of them broke down and they were far more comfortable around each other. However, that didn’t mean Juliet knew what she was supposed to do now that she was certain he liked her.

It was a matter of finding everything in the kitchen. Despite being to Megan’s often, they rarely ate there or had to cook. With Miles not quite knowing everything that was needed, and Juliet not knowing where anything was, the kitchen was in a rather chaotic state. Not that either of them minded, if anything, they were both laughing and not caring about how much some of the pans would clang together or all the noise they were both making from finding everything.

“Shouldn’t we be a bit quieter?” Juliet asked as she started to get the batter together.

Miles shook his head, “Nah, if she wakes up, then she wakes up.”

“Won’t she be mad?”

“You’re really gonna worry about that?”

Juliet sighed, looking down, “I mean, maybe… I’m not sure if I’m even mad at her or not.”

“If it were up to her you would’ve… you could have…” Miles couldn’t finish his sentence.

Instead he pulled her close, rocking her back and forth slowly. He still wasn’t over the fact that he had thought she was actually trying to get with the guy from last night. That if it hadn’t been for Veronica, things would have turned out far differently. Granted, he had eyes and he likely would have noticed something was wrong at some point, but he knew that if anything had happened, he would have blamed himself.

What he didn’t tell Juliet was that the minute he got the chance, he was going to ask his sister just what the hell she had been thinking. That was, if his sister had been thinking at all. Sometimes, he wondered how they were even related, let alone twins. Of course, he wasn’t even sure what would come from yelling at his sister in the first place. Especially when he knew that she either didn’t care or wouldn’t remember what had happened that night.

“Hey, do you wanna try flipping pancakes?” Juliet asked, grinning.

Miles let go, pushing his glasses up before nodding, “Hell yeah I do, teach me.”

“Alright, I’ll warn you now, I don’t do this very much, so I’ll probably screw it up, but it’ll be fun at least,” she said, starting to whisk the batter.

Miles watched for a moment, “Okay, I think I know how to stir batter.”

“You sure?”

No one mentioned that being around someone she cared about was supposed to make her happy. But there she was, trying to explain how to use a whisk and batter would splatter once or twice, but all she could do was laugh about it. Things were going to get better. At this rate, they simply had to.

There was batter on some of the counter and she could feel some of it was on her cheek. Although, the real challenge was actually making the pancakes. They turned out as odd shapes that were either undercooked or nearly burnt, but they were saved thanks to butter and syrup.

“I think we both should take a cooking class,” Miles said before taking a bite.

Juliet nodded, “Definitely, I’m almost as bad at this as you are. And you’ve never cooked before in your life.”

“Hey! I can make some really great ramen.”

“Doesn’t count. Besides, I know  _ way _ better types of noodles.”

Miles smirked a bit, “Yeah? Name one.”

“ Phở, enough said. It’s some of the best stuff. Only, I actually know how to make that… I’m way better with Vietnamese food,” she said.

“Yeah? You should definitely make some for me or teach me how to make it or something… I don’t know.”

Juliet smiled, looking down at her food, “I’d like that a lot, actually.”

“Can you guys  _ please _ shut the fuck up? Some of us are trying to sleep,” Megan snapped, standing at the top of the staircase.

Miles rolled his eyes, “It’s not our fault you decided to get wasted out of your mind. You’re lucky I don’t tell mom or dad.”

“And what would they do? You know they wouldn’t care unless I actually got caught. Which, may I remind you, that I haven’t been caught. I guess that just shows I’m more clever,” Megan said simply, “Julie, can you make me a smoothie?”

“She’s not making you anything.”

“Then let her speak for herself, Miles. God, your mansplaining bullshit is really pissing me off. And I have the worst headache ever, so I’m really not putting up with any of your shit today, so Julie, get on it!” Megan yelled.

Juliet sank in her chair, “Can’t you just… um… couldn’t you just sleep it off? Y-you know those cures don’t work.”

“Then get me a glass of fucking water. I’m not gonna put up with your shit either!”

“You’re already awake,” Juliet pointed out.

Megan rolled her eyes, going back into her room, slamming the door. Juliet stared at the remainder of her pancakes, a part of her wishing that she had just gotten Megan some water. It wouldn’t have taken a whole lot of effort. Why couldn’t she just do one simple thing right for once in her life?

Over the years, it was always obvious to Juliet that Megan didn’t forget things. And she didn’t forgive either. But it also wasn’t lost on Juliet that her one friend had no one else to talk to. Sure, there were guys she would be able to hook up with, but she wouldn’t have anyone to talk to or plan parties with. Though a part of her wondered if that meant anything to Megan at all. 

She had seen how underhanded Megan had been, but if she was already with someone who knew Megan was like that, then what was there to worry about?

The fact that there wasn’t much to be worried about was what truly concerned Juliet. If she wasn’t worrying about something coming up, then that had to mean she was forgetting something. Only, she had no clue what it was that she was forgetting.

“Hey, you don’t need to worry about Megan. There’s a solid chance she still won’t remember what happened or she’ll think she dreamed it up or something,” Miles claimed.

Juliet sighed, “I know… but I also know she doesn’t forget things easily. And I also know you probably hate it when I try to make excuses for her, but I still don’t want her to be stuck by herself.”

“It’s her fault if she ends up alone. Just because you’re the only person who’s somewhat close to her, doesn’t mean you’re obligated to stick around,” he pointed out.

She shook her head, “But doesn’t it, though? I mean, if I’m not there for her, who will be?”

“Okay, so, let’s say you never talked to Megan again… which I doubt would happen, just saying, but let’s say you did. And then let’s say that you were the only person she talked to. And let’s say that she’s now all alone and hopeless. It would be more likely that she tried to fix herself and make herself out to be a better person. You’d be doing her a favor.”

“But… what if she tried to do something stupid? What if she hurt herself instead? That would be  _ my _ fault.”

“No. It’s not your responsibility to make sure that she takes care of herself. And by sticking around when she treats you like this, you’re only teaching her that this sort of shit is okay. And neither of you should be going through that.”

“Easy for you to say, it sounds like you dropped Megan years ago.”

“Hey, I only dropped her because she tried treating me like how she treats you. And I knew that wasn’t right, so I didn’t take it. She’s family and I still talk to her, but that doesn’t mean I have to like her or justify what she does. And the same goes for you,” Miles insisted.

She sighed, “Okay, but she had me at the same time. So I think it’s only fair to wait for her to have another friend.”

“You completely missed the point of-”

“No, I got that. But I don’t think it’s right. Leaving people for dead is wrong. Even if Megan can be a little bitchy every now and then, she still doesn’t deserve to be treated like shit.”

“And neither do you, Jules. The thing is, you’re better than her and you deserve so much better. Come on, she doesn’t even pay attention when you’re obviously going through a lot. Why should you?”

“Because, like you said, I’m better than her.”

Miles chuckled a little, “Nothing gets past you, huh?”

Juliet merely shrugged in response.

It was difficult for Miles. All he wanted was for Juliet to see things the way he was seeing them. That forgetting about his sister was better for everyone. He knew Megan better than he knew anyone else. Whether that was for the better or worse, he was unsure. But either way, he was aware that it would take a lot to get Megan to change. And if that meant she had to sit alone at lunch for a few days, he would find a way to make it happen.


	10. Chapter Ten: Rocky Relationships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juggling two people may not be easy

It didn’t matter how much Miles tried to tell Juliet, she still stayed friends with Megan. Which, by extension, meant that their relationship wasn’t quite public. They weren’t exactly sneaking around, and Juliet was almost positive that Megan knew she was dating Miles. That wasn’t something that mattered to her, though.

As long as she never mentioned it, Juliet assumed that there wasn’t anything wrong. After all, if there wasn’t anything to be said, then there was no way Megan had a problem with any of it. Granted, Juliet also wondered if she had even noticed what was going on between Miles and herself.

Then there was Miles who still talked about how she should just hang around him more often. It was something Juliet did want to do, especially when it meant getting a chance to talk to him for longer and maybe even getting a chance to cuddle him. Then, she simply didn’t want to leave Megan in the dust. Whether she was a good friend or not, it didn’t feel right to just ditch her at the exact same time Juliet got together with her brother.

Surely there was something wrong about that.

“Hey, did you get any of that?” Miles asked, putting an arm around Juliet as they started to walk out of the school.

Quickly, she nodded, “Yeah, something about a recital, right?”

“Well, kind of… I was telling you the place I do lessons at is combining with the Moscow dance troop. It would be the entire Nutcracker ballet, and I mean, it’s long, sure, and if money’s an issue-”

“It’s not, and I’ll go. It’s obviously super important to you. Dancing’s your thing,” Juliet replied, her dark brown eyes meeting his bright blue ones.

Miles smiled faintly, “You think so? Wait, you’ve never even seen me dance before, have you? You couldn’t possibly know.”

“I beg to differ. I never paid attention before, but everytime I’m at your house, you always walk in with that gym bag. So if that’s anything to go off of, then I’m guessing you’re at the bare minimum, halfway decent,” she insisted, turning so she was in front of him.

Juliet pulled him into a tight hug, “Just tell me where to buy tickets. I’ll be there.”

“Ugh, Julie, there you are! I swear, where were you today? I didn’t see you, like, at all,” Megan yelled out, strutting over to Juliet and Miles.

Miles grimaced, letting go of Juliet, “Well, I’ll leave you two to it.”

“Good, I was going to tell you this was super private anyways,” Megan countered, her blue eyes narrowing.

Juliet looked at the ground, her face flushing, “What is it?”

“Seriously? Aside from the fact that you were totally just grinding on my brother? I mean, really? For one thing, you could do way better than that. He’s  _ so _ not gonna be a CEO or anything that makes a lot of money. You’re setting yourself up for failure if you actually date him,” Megan said, looking down at her phone, fixing her hair.

Juliet kept her eyes trained on the ground. How did Megan not know she was already seeing Miles? It seemed so obvious. But it was obvious that she would have much more to say on the subject if she knew what was going on. 

Did that mean they needed to keep in secret? Juliet wasn’t sure if she could handle pressure like that. Last year had been difficult enough without hiding a relationship from Megan. Besides, what would she be hiding it for? Who would even benefit from that?

If she kept everything secret, Juliet knew she’d be digging herself a hole of deception with Megan and Miles. The two people who she didn’t want to lose. They both meant something to her. Although, she really just didn’t want to leave Megan alone. If there were another person in their group, Juliet likely would have cut things off after homecoming.

“Aren’t you going to say something?”

Juliet sighed a bit, looking up at Megan, “Okay, how’s Miles so awful?”

“Really? That’s easy, he’s not that attractive, all he does is focus on dancing. He’s never going to be a dancer and he isn’t inheriting shit. I am, he isn’t.”

“What if I said that I didn’t care about money?”

Megan rolled her eyes, “Miss me with that shit, everyone cares about money. You wouldn’t be caught dead not being able to afford your fucking green tea lattes and those cute skirts you’re always wearing. That shit isn’t cheap.”

“I could live without it if I needed to.”  
“Why are you defending him?”

“B-because you guys are family. You should get along, I mean… you don’t know what could happen,” Juliet started.

“Jesus Christ! You think that just because you lost your mother that you can tell everyone else how their family’s allowed to run?”

Juliet shook her hair, strands of black falling into her face, “N-no, I just think you guys should try to talk to each other. You know, in case someone gets hurt or something.”

“Not happening. You want me to talk to him? Tell him to get over himself the next time you try talking to him. And you wanna know a little secret?”

“What?”

Megan leaned in, her lips hovering over Juliet’s ear, “He’s not that into you.”

Juliet gulped, “G-good thing I’m not that into him.”

It wasn’t the first time Juliet had lied through her teeth about how she felt towards someone, and it wasn’t going to be the last time either. What made Juliet feel a gnawing guilt in the pit of her stomach was that she knew that she liked Miles. She liked him more than she could say, and she was positive that Megan was lying to get in the way again. Which was fair, Juliet wasn’t supposed to just leave her best friend for some guy.

But what if that guy treated her better than her friend ever had? That was almost undeniable. With Megan cutting her off at every turn, demanding so much from her all the time. It was almost to the point that Juliet couldn’t think straight she was so consumed with everything that she had to do.

That was part of why everything had happened the way it had during the summer. Of course, she couldn’t say a whole lot. Juliet knew that she never mentioned anything to Megan. Just because she thought Megan wouldn’t have cared didn’t mean that Megan wouldn’t have actually cared. For all Juliet knew, it was just her anxiety talking. 

At least, that was what she kept telling herself.

There was no way things wouldn’t have been going the way they were without Miles at least liking her in some form of the word. He didn’t have to be nice to her, and he didn’t have to take her out or hug her or even talk to her. It was obvious that he didn’t want Juliet being around Megan, but he also didn’t stop her. She knew that and it was pretty obvious, but at the same time, it was refreshing to not have someone that she had to please all the time. 

“Yep, very good, come on, let’s go.”

The whole time, Juliet was unsure if she was there or not. Her body wasn’t quite caught up to her thought process. It meant Megan was constantly repeating herself because Juliet wasn’t sure if she understood correctly. Why did everything Megan say mean so much to her when it was clearly a lie? 

When she got home and had to talk to her father, he talked her ear off about classes and getting scholarships, something she should have been doing in the first place. Juliet found herself drowning out his voice and she felt herself unable to listen or speak. So she simply nodded until she was able to get into her room.

She looked at her phone, seeing a couple of texts from Miles. It wasn’t anything overly important, just a couple of funny pictures and asking how she was doing. As bad as she felt for not saying anything, quickly her mind flooded with thoughts about how it was possible that Miles really was just bluffing and he didn’t like her. So she tried to figure out if she should message anything at all. 

Of course, after a half hour of attempting to get through scholarship applications and getting nowhere, Juliet couldn’t stop the thoughts running in her head. She looked over at her journal and then at her phone. The choice was simple, and she picked up her journal.

_ November 18th _

_ No matter how I close I get to the prince, something about the princess always keeps me staying around despite my better judgement. I cannot help the need to be there at her beck-and-call even though I know I am more than just some lady-in-waiting. Then there’s the fact that I do not know if the prince truly likes me.  _

_ I know magic, sure, but I have no clue how to read minds. At times like these, I wish that I could do just that. However, there is absolutely no way for that to happen. On top of everything my father wants, I’m even more uncertain of myself than ever before and I am at a loss of what to do. _

_ It has been months since I wanted to go back to necromancy, yet here I am, wanting nothing more. _

When Juliet woke up the next morning, she was passed out on top of her journal. She didn’t have time to take a shower and she knew that she was cutting it close with the time that she did have to get ready. 

Her leggings probably weren’t the cutest thing she had, but they worked if nothing else. A sweatshirt that she had from a few years ago hung around her, enveloping her like an oversized blanket. It wasn’t the most attractive outfit she had, and she was positive that Megan was going to give her an earful about it when she got to school, but she also couldn’t care less.

As guilty as she felt for not messaging Miles anything, she also knew that she would have made things worse by trying to say something. The last thing she wanted to do was ruin what they had started. If she started dumping everything she worried about onto him, then it was likely that he would just disappear. She wouldn’t blame him, and that was why she kept her mouth shut instead of trying to think of something to say.

“Christ, Julie, you look like hell!” Megan exclaimed.

Juliet shrugged, “It’s just leggings.”

“And that shirt. It does nothing for your figure at all. I feel like you should just stay home if you’re gonna choose to look like shit,” she commented.

Juliet shrugged again, looking down at her black vans, “I just overslept, I didn’t have much time for anything.”

“Bullshit, there’s always time, you could afford to be a few minutes late.”

“I happen to think she looks just fine,” Miles stated, stepping between both girls.

Juliet shrunk back, “She’s right, I should’ve done more.”

She found it easy to zone out the rest of the conversation. Although, she tuned it out in an exchange for listening to her own internal thoughts. Where she kept telling herself that she could have and should have done more. Not just that morning, but all the time. If she hadn’t fallen asleep and been lazy. Hell, if she had just stuck through whatever it was she had to do the night before, she would even be in the mess that she was in.

“See? She gets it. But you’re a guy, so you don’t understand why women need to put forth actual effort,” Megan retorted, smirking.

Miles shook his head, “Except you don’t get it, Meg, you’re supposed to let your skin breathe, heels are terrible for your legs, and it’s starting to get so cold it would be better to stick with leggings anyways.”

Miles wasn’t blind, he saw Juliet’s eyes completely glazed over. Something he was beginning to notice was a more common event than he had originally thought. Whether it was related to Megan or something else entirely, he wasn’t sure. Maybe it was still about her mom. He just wished that she would say something. It wasn’t like he could help her through everything if he had no idea what was going on. 

Still, the bell rang and Juliet made it through almost all her classes, and she paid attention where she could. Though, everything still seemed to be a blur. There was no way she was going to be able to deal with Megan. In fact, there was no way she was going to be able to deal with anything. Maybe she should have just stayed home. Maybe she should have done more. Maybe she should have woken up earlier. Maybe she shouldn’t have tried to-

“Julie! Did you hear literally anything I just said? Holy fuck you’re so useless sometimes, I can’t believe you. I just asked if you got the gov homework done,” Megan snapped, almost screeching in Juliet’s ears.

Juliet flinched a bit, “I-I um… no, I kind of uh… I kinda got distracted, sorry.”

“Seriously? Can’t you do anything right! I fucking swear, come on, get yourself together. I mean, I know freshmen more capable than you,” Megan complained.

Juliet could suddenly only hear everything Megan was saying. Every single insult and everything wrong with her was suddenly amplified. The gnawing in her stomach grew until she felt like she couldn’t even swallow.

“I um… I need to… sorry,” Juliet got up from her seat and ran into the hallway.

Miles had just gotten back to the school, some of his lunch in hand. He walked down the hall, about to get to the cafeteria. That was when he saw Juliet bolt past him.

Juliet hadn’t seen anyone in the hallway, and she doubted that anyone was paying attention to what she was doing. Not that she blamed anyone, it was all on her. If she had just done a little bit more of everything, then she wouldn’t have been in the situation that she was in. That was all she could think of.

There wasn’t a plan, but she knew that there was a pen cap in the pocket of her sweatshirt. She wasn’t supposed to let everything get to her so much for so long. Therapy was supposed to help with that. Something was supposed to help, people weren’t supposed to think so much at once. People weren’t supposed to get so hung up on everything. Megan didn’t mean what she had been saying, did she? No, people didn’t talk to their friends like that and actually mean it.

She was overreacting and if she could just get her hands on that pen cap she could fix everything. Then she felt someone grab her wrist and she stiffened.

“Hey, Jules… what happened?” Miles asked, turning her towards him.

Juliet opened her mouth, and looked at Miles, but she felt a huge knot in her throat. Nothing came out. How was she supposed to explain everything she was feeling? Especially when she knew that it was all on her for not doing anything. For being lazy. For being thoughtless. For being forgetful. For not being enough.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. You don’t need to tell me anything, do you want a hug?” he asked, pulling her close when he saw her nodding.

In that moment he could have killed Megan. He didn’t know what had happened, but he wasn’t blind either. The conversation from earlier in the day obviously had something to do with her crying right then. He held her tightly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

Juliet sniffled a little before starting to talk, “D-do you even like me?”

“Of course I do… you’re smart and kinda funny. And when I say smart, I don’t mean just smart, you’re fucking brilliant. And you care about people, like, you genuinely do everything you can-”

“No I don’t! I-I need to do so much more. I-I could do so much more… except I can’t,” Juliet cried.

Miles rubbed circles into her back, “You need to stop that. You’re doing everything that you possibly can and everyone needs to realize that. Anyone who can’t see that is dumb and you shouldn’t even be around them.”

“B-but Megan keeps saying that I’m not doing anything right, a-and I know that I’m not and I know that she’s right and if she’s right then that means I’m a failure and I’m not enough,” she sobbed into his chest.

He bit his lip, trying to stop himself from saying anything that would make things worse, “Look, she’s not thinking about what you’re going through. She doesn’t care. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you’ll be able to realize you’re doing what you can.”

“I’m not… I-I don’t get why you keep saying that. I keep fucking everything up and messing things up and I don’t know how to fix them. A-and I’m supposed to be getting better and I’m supposed to stop getting like this and I don’t know how.”

“Wait, stop getting like what? Seriously, what’s wrong?”

Juliet shook her head, “I-I can’t say.”

“Is it something I should be worried about?” 

The first thing Miles went to was thinking that there was something wrong. That Juliet was about to die on him. If that were the case, he wasn’t sure what he would do. He already felt like he was so close with her, and if he suddenly lost her, he had no way of knowing what he would do.

“No, really, it’s okay… I-I should get back.”

“No.You’re not going back to class. Jules, you haven’t been paying attention to anything all day. I don’t know what’s wrong, but I’m taking you out of school right now,” Miles insisted.

She shook her head, “No, you can’t do that. I can’t just ditch class, my father would kill me. I already have enough going on.”

“Not ditching… I’d call in as your dad, and then you’d get a pass and I’ll take you somewhere, we could go anywhere,” he told her, wiping a tear from her eye.

The look in his eyes made it obvious that Juliet wasn’t going to get anywhere by saying no. Perhaps that was for the best. She wasn’t sure. There was something that told her it still wasn’t right, even though she knew that she wouldn’t get anything done at school, so it wouldn’t make a difference. It was the same thing keeping her from going back and snapping at Megan. 

For a split second, she thought about saying something purely to anger Megan. Only, she couldn’t bring herself to say it. Her stomach had started churning too early for her to get any words together.

{“Fine, but we’re going to the pond, right?”

Miles smiled softly, “If that’s where you wanna go, then we can do that. Now, get to class, you won’t be there for too long.”

How was he supposed to let Juliet go through the day in the state she was in? There was no way that he could forgive himself if he just let someone who was crying so much like she was, just go off and do their own thing. He didn’t know Juliet to the point that he could predict everything she did, but he knew her well enough to know that she was going to stay in school and probably hang out with Megan afterwards. It wouldn't have mattered if she was obviously a mess, she would have clearly done that same thing for him.


	11. Chapter Eleven: On Your Side

 When Juliet got called out with a pass, she smiled a bit, relieved that whatever Miles had planned ended up working exactly the way it was supposed to. Megan glanced at Juliet, raising an eyebrow and Juliet simply shrugged. There was no way Megan had any idea of what was going on, that much she knew was absolutely certain. Why was there anything to suspect?

“You better be at my house right after school,” Megan whispered.

Juliet glanced at the clock as she put her things away, “I’m not so sure if that’s gonna work for today… um, I gotta go or I’ll be late, bye!”

She couldn’t have speed walked out of that class fast enough. All she could think about was finally getting away from everything for a few hours. But what if this became a habit? What if she started ditching all the time? What if Miles was actually bad for her? Megan had never asked her to do anything like this for her before. Maybe Miles didn’t care for her the way she thought he did.

Then again, Juliet also knew that there was no way she would have gotten anything done in the first place. She had been useless all day and she probably should have faked being sick in the first place. Besides, the closer she got to the doors of the school, she knew that she couldn’t turn back. Then everyone would get in trouble.

It didn’t take long to get checked out since most of the school’s staff expected her to be honest. And ordinarily, Juliet would have felt guilty, but she could barely bring herself to feel anything or even figure out what she was supposed to be thinking. So she walked out of the school, still feeling the same amount of weight on her shoulders that she had been feeling for days.

Miles was right outside and waved at her. Juliet was still trying to figure out why he was going so far out of his way for her. Sure, they were more than just friends, but Juliet wasn’t sure that doing so much for someone was normal.

Sometimes she wasn’t even sure if she could remember how her parents had acted around each other before her mother had passed. All she knew was that her father missed her for one reason or another. She hoped it was because he loved her mother, but the more she got to know the people around her, she quickly figured out that people ended up making less and less sense over time. Though, what she did know was that she definitely didn’t have Miles figured out. She wasn’t sure if she ever would.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Miles commented, leaning over to kiss her on the forehead.

Juliet forced a small smile, “Yeah?”

“So, it’s all up to you, where do you wanna go? I’m here to help you,” he told her.

She shrugged, looking at her shoes, “Um… the pond I guess, I just need to figure out what I’m even doing.”

“Okay, we’ll go there then,” he said, pulling out of the school parking lot, “So, what’s really going on?”

“Why do you care? I-I mean, why are you doing all this? You haven’t asked me to do anything and you’re just helping me with everything when it’s all so out of your way. Like, you could get in trouble for ditching thanks to me and I don’t get it,” she explained, huffing.

Miles didn’t say anything for a few moments. How was he supposed to explain that a healthy relationship meant that they did things for each other, even if it wasn’t convenient. Of course, that also meant both of them being there for each other, but he didn’t doubt that Juliet would have done the same thing for him. Or at least, she would have done something similar.

Still, he wasn’t sure how to explain it.

“You work too hard. I just think that there should be someone who looks out for you. And it’s obviously not my sister, so it may as well be me.”

“You make it sound like I’m a piece of work.”

“Th-that’s not what I meant, I just… Jules, I care about you because I want to. Look, I’m not a writer, I don’t… I’m not great with wording. But just know that you deserve stuff like this. Shit, people should be doing things for you anyways. It’s just nice,” Miles stammered, looking at the road.

Juliet furrowed her eyebrows, “You think so? I don’t know, I mean, I’m lazy, I didn’t even text you back yesterday. Maybe Megan’s right.”

“She’s not. You’re not lazy, I don’t care that you didn’t text me back, I care that you showed up to school looking exhausted and I care that you ran out of the lunch room crying,” Miles stopped himself so he could park.

A part of him wanted to punch a wall. Of course, he didn’t want to scare Juliet because his twin had managed to get in someone else’s head like this. Although, Miles also knew that there was no way it was just Megan. She was probably one person in a long list of people who convinced Juliet that everything was her fault. Maybe it wasn’t something Miles could fix, he didn’t expect to fix anything. He simply wanted to be helpful.

They sat at the same bench near the edge of the pond that Juliet always went to. The ducks had already flown off and the leaves on the trees were bright shades of orange and red. It almost didn’t matter what Miles was saying. Sure, it was nice to know that Megan had been lying, but on the other hand, Megan had tried to mess up a relationship she liked being in. And she didn’t know where to begin with the person who was supposed to be her best friend.

So instead of trying to process her thoughts, she stared blankly at the water. Had Megan always acted the way she did? Juliet’s stare hardened, what if she had been playing herself the whole time? And as much as she wanted the answer to that question, she wasn’t sure if she would be able to forgive herself for being so stupid.

All of her teachers would claim that she was studious and always got herself together when necessary, but Juliet felt like that was a load of garbage. They didn’t know how often she would stare off at nothing in the middle of class. Or how often she would have to force herself to stay awake for just another five minutes. No one knew about her summer or anything before that. And she was so close to saying everything at once.

Only, something was stopping her. She couldn’t tell what it was. Maybe it was because she convinced herself that her father was right. Everyone would just judge her if she said something about what happened. All she had done was bring shame to her family and she knew that. There was no way she could ever be enough.

As badly as Miles didn’t want to force Juliet to say anything, he grew more and more worried as he saw her staring at the lake. She was catatonic and he didn’t know what to do. Was he supposed to hold her? Or was he just supposed to sit there, watching her as she seemed so stuck in her thoughts that she was driving herself crazy?

Schools didn’t teach about how to help someone going through a mental breakdown, and he didn’t want to make things worse. But he couldn’t bring himself to sit back and watch her any longer, so he wrapped his arms around her tightly.

Miles rested his chin on the top of her forehead, “Hey, I’m not gonna make you say anything, but… um… whatever’s going on, I’m not going anywhere, Jules. Um… can you hear me?”

It took a few seconds of Juliet continuing to sit without making a move to hug Miles back or even say anything, but she did eventually bury her face into his shoulder, crying. She couldn’t say anything thanks to her tears. Even after breaking down plenty of times before, Juliet still had no clue how to get herself to say anything when she was in tears or even on the verge of them. At least, not without giving way to how she was feeling.

And while feeling Juliet cling to him tightly and hearing her continue to cry wasn’t assuring, Miles felt slightly relieved that she was doing something. He didn’t know everything about her, but after being close to her for weeks, he found it more than safe to assume that this wasn’t a once in a lifetime occurrence. Miles kept wondering how much Megan had to do with this, but he tried to keep his mind off of that.

This wasn’t supposed to be about his sister. It was supposed to be about making sure Juliet didn’t lose her mind. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do and he wished that he could do more for her.

After what felt like hours, Juliet finally felt the lump in her throat give way just enough for her to say a few words, “S-sorry about that.”

“Don’t be. I don’t know what happened today or if it was last night or a lot of things hitting you… but you need help,” Miles said, gently stroking her hair.

Juliet shook her head, “I-I have that taken care of.”

“Like a therapist?”

She nodded slightly before looking up at him with wide eyes, “Y-you can’t tell anyone… e-especially Megan, p-please.”

“Hey, it’s not my place to say anything. I’m not gonna say anything about it,” he assured her, gently kissing the top of her head.

Juliet didn’t let go of him. She still had some tears rolling down her face that she just couldn’t control and that much was evident. Miles gently wiped her eyes, still not wanting to let her go. It felt like at any moment Juliet was going to shatter into a million pieces, and Miles didn’t know the first thing about fixing someone.

He felt a bit guilty. Of all people, wasn’t Miles supposed to be able to help her? He was her boyfriend, and he knew that there were plenty of shitty boyfriends in the world, but he also knew that he wanted to be as good to Juliet as he could be.

“I-it’s a long story…”

“Your breakdown?”

“Y-yeah, and I don’t know if I wanna talk about it but Ialsoknowthat’msupposedtobemoreopenaboutmyfeelingsand-”

“Hey, you need to breathe, you don’t have to say anything that you don’t wanna. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable,” Miles told her, trying to think of how to get her to slow down.

Although, it wasn’t the first time Juliet’s mind short circuited to the point that she couldn’t get her brain to slow down. She felt like she was being a burden and that she was only bothering Miles. What had she been thinking? There was no way he would want to be with some dumb girl who couldn’t even stop herself from crying over nothing.

It took a longer period of silence for Juliet to get her thoughts together. She did want to talk about everything, but she wanted to do it without talking about everything that had happened to her. Juliet didn’t want to bring up what happened in the summer or why she was constantly wearing sweaters and sweatshirts. How did anyone bring that up in a normal conversation?

“Okay… so yesterday, you know how Megan showed up right when you were about to leave and started talking?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. So after that she tried saying you didn’t care about me and… I know, I-I know that I shouldn’t take her word for everything. I-I’m only being her friend because she doesn’t have anyone else. B-but it wouldn’t get out of my head, ya know?”

Miles hugged her again, “I can tell you right now, she’s full of shit.”

“A-and I know that, but my head doesn’t? I-if that makes any sense. She just… well, she got in my head and I couldn’t think straight the rest of the night. I-I couldn’t get anything done and I thought I went to bed early, but either I can’t tell time or I really overslept because I feel so fucking exhausted. A-and I couldn’t focus at all today and she kept yelling at me and everything she was saying just… it kept getting to me. I-I know I shouldn’t let it get to me, but after someone says something a lot of the time, you really start to believe it.”

He didn’t let go of her, “Look, that sort of thing would get to anyone. If it doesn’t, then they’re probably narcissistic. And I don’t know if anyone tells you this, but Megan’s full of shit. You’re brilliant and you’re so kind. I mean, I don’t know anyone who would actually stay friends with someone who’s treated them like shit just because they’re worried about leaving said awful friend.”

“Maybe more people should be like that.”

Miles smiled a bit, “I think only you would say that. But trust me, whatever happens with all of this, you’re without a doubt the kindest person I know. And that’s a good thing. Just… people take advantage of that.”

“I know. L-like you said, I’m brilliant. I can tell that Megan uses me, but I don’t wanna make her mad.”

“You’re gonna have to do it someday. And when that happens, I’m here. You don’t need to worry about anything. You’ll have me and I can tell you that Veronica loves you. And there’s that other guy you tutor… I’m sure he thinks you’re great too.”

Juliet smiled the tiniest bit, “You really think so?”

“Yep. If I remember right… she said that you were ‘a hoot and a half’. Something like that.”

A couple of raindrops fell onto Juliet’s hair, and she smiled a little bit more, “Is that so?”

“Oh definitely, I can’t make up a phrase like that if I tried,” he said, letting go of her.

The sprinkle of rain could be seen on the pond, and despite the warm sweatshirt she wore, Juliet couldn’t help shivering a little. She should have worn something a little warmer. It was nearly Thanksgiving and that only meant winter was even closer than she would have liked.

Without a word, Miles took off his jean jacket and draped it over Juliet’s shoulders. She moved to take it off. There was no way Miles wasn’t cold and she wasn’t about to take no for an answer, but Miles held the jacket down so she couldn’t take off the jacket.

He chuckled lightly, “See? You’re just so kind.”

Juliet shrugged in response, and when her eyes flicked up, they met his bright blue ones. It was like they were the same color of the sky on a spring day. And before she knew it she was staring. She wasn’t trying to hide it, what was the point in that? He stared back.

Her eyes seemed a little bit puffy, but other than that, she looked almost fine. Miles wished there was more he could do for her. However, he couldn’t think of anything to do to help her. And if she wasn’t staring out of focus, he figured that he had done something right. At least, he hoped that she would say something if he hadn’t.

She still hadn’t looked away from Miles and her eyes glanced down at his lips for a moment and then quickly back at his eyes. It was so easy to get lost in his eyes, and she wasn’t sure if she should tell him that. Though, what she did know was that she felt herself getting closer and closer to Miles regardless of whether she meant to or not.

Was it too soon to kiss him? Juliet had no idea, and maybe she was looking into it too deeply. What if Miles just didn’t want to do anything? However, the way he looked back at her dark brown eyes seemed to say something different entirely. He was starting to get closer to her as well.

“Can I kiss you?” Miles questioned.

Juliet quickly nodded, “Yeah,”

Right as the droplets started coming down a little bit faster, Miles leaned in, closing the small space that was between the both of them. The kiss was slow and gentle, and Miles pulled Juliet closer while her arms wrapped loosely around his neck.

Juliet had kissed a couple of people before, but she felt like Miles was completely different. For one thing, she was finally kissing someone she was in a relationship with. Something she had only been able to dream of doing earlier with Megan constantly ordering her around.

They both pulled back when they felt the rain start to pour down with a different ferocity, causing Miles to get up and pull Juliet to go with him. He opened the door for her so she could get in quickly before getting into his seat. Juliet couldn’t help but laugh at the situation despite herself.

She had lived in Bend for as long as she could remember, and she knew that the rain would take a turn like that, but she had never been outside for it. At least, not as far as she could remember. Although, she was positive that there were several important things that she had forgotten over time.

“So… there’s still more time in the school day… and if we’re gonna be smart about this, we can find somewhere else to go or stay in here,” he said, running a hand through his damp hair.

Juliet shrugged a little, “I don’t know, I’m really okay with anything. There’s not really much to be done except wait.”

“Wait… so what happened?” Miles asked, looking at her.

In that moment, Juliet almost got up and ran off. This was exactly was what she wasn’t supposed to talk about. But there wasn’t any way for her to hide the fact that she was far from okay. All she could do was tell him what was going on.

Only, there was no way that she could tell him everything. That would be too much. If she talked about the summer and before the summer, she worried that would just make him want to leave. She wouldn’t have blamed him. The last thing she wanted was to be an inconvenience to him, but it felt more like she was being an inconvenience than anything else. Still, she knew that she had to come up with something.

Miles frowned, “If you want me to help you, I need you to tell me what’s going on.”

It took a few more moments of silence for Juliet to know what she wanted to say and she forced herself to stay on subject. If she deviated, she worried that she would go completely off track and end up telling Miles everything.

“Um… well, I’m not sure how to explain it. But every once in awhile I just kinda can’t get my mind and body to sync up. And I guess I get kinda useless because, well, I can’t get anything to work. Just, nothing feels quite real, you know?”

Miles shook his head, “I-I don’t think I do… but it doesn’t sound good. Did… did I um… do I feel real?”

“Yes, definitely, oh, I don’t mean that I don’t think you’re real. But it’s sometimes… it’s like there’s a thick fog. And sometimes things get through for a little bit, but normally I just need more sleep or to de-stress.”

“So… you’re gonna be okay, right?”

Juliet nodded, “Yeah, yeah, I’ll be fine. It’s gonna be okay. I just need to get through today.”

“Well… you know what’s coming up pretty soon?”

“Um… well, not really, sorry.”

Miles leaned over, kissing her forehead, “You’re good. I was gonna say Thanksgiving’s super soon. And I was wondering if you were doing anything.”

“Well, it’s just me and my dad… we kinda just try to make some Vietnamese foods. I mean, you could probably come by if you wanted,” she offered.

“No, I-I couldn’t just intrude like that.”

“Why not? I already know your parents, it’s only fair you should at least know my father… I think if I teach you some Vietnamese, he’ll like you a lot,” Juliet insisted.

Though, she had no idea if her father would like Miles. Either he would think that Miles was a terrible distraction or someone who needed to be in her life. Still, Juliet had no clue what would happen, but it was probably for the best that her father meet him sooner rather than later. Before it seemed like she was trying to keep the entire relationship a secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would really love knowing your thoughts!!!


	12. Chapter Twelve: A Listener

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Thanksgiving

Most people tried to spend holidays with their close family, sometimes going all the way across the country for them. However, on Thanksgiving it was only Juliet and her father. All of their extended family was back in Vietnam, and Juliet hoped that she could visit one day. Though her father wasn’t exactly keen on the idea.

“Oh, come on, you wouldn’t have to come with me if you didn’t want to,” she pleaded as she searched around the refrigerator for the vegetables and shrimp for the spring rolls.

Her father shook his head, “No. As long as I am alive, you will not go there, and I will not follow you.”

“Why not? The war’s over. It’s been over for years. I want to meet my  _ ong va ba _ , you know… I’ve never even met your parents,” Juliet pointed out, pulling out the vegetables she needed.

“I do not want to take the risk. For all I know, they are dead.”

“I think you’re paranoid.”

Her father didn’t say anything after that and instead went back to working on the  _ che _ that was going to be for dessert. Juliet still hadn’t mentioned Miles, and she couldn’t remember what convinced her to invite Miles in the first place. When she looked at the clock, she noticed that there was more than enough time for her to text him and claim that she was sick with the stomach flu.

Only she began to figure that the plan would backfire and he would come by to see if she was doing alright. There was so much that could go wrong. Between Miles pronouncing the Vietnamese wrong to the fact that she had a boyfriend without even mentioning the guy all that much in the first place. Maybe if she just faked her death and ran away to Canada, the problem would be solved. And while there was plenty of time before she told Miles to show up, she also knew that if she didn’t get the guts to tell her father right then, she wouldn’t mention it at all.

“ _ Cha, _ are you making enough for three?” Juliet asked, starting to roll the spring rolls.

Vinh raised an eyebrow, turning to Juliet, “ _ Tai sao _ ? Why do we need so much?”

“Well, I told my boyfriend that he could stop by. Maybe you could meet him? I mean, he’s really nice and I think you’d like him,” Juliet rambled, feeling like her heart was about to beat out of her chest.

He raised an eyebrow, “You have a  _ ban trai _ ? When?”

“Um… since, like, a couple weeks ago? He’s Megan’s brother, Miles. Actually, now that I think about it, you might’ve met him before. And if I remember right… I think you really did like him.”

Vinh nodded slowly, “You think so? We will have to see.”

Juliet smiled, feeling her heart rate start to calm down, “I’m telling you, he’s great.”

They went back to cooking, the parade playing in the background as they both kept cooking. The more she worked in the kitchen, the more she could have sworn that she just barely saw flashes of her mother swirling around the kitchen as well. Juliet shook her head, trying to not think about it.

_ Why do I even write the date? _

_ I know that I shouldn’t worry about the prince meeting my father. But there are a million things that could go wrong, and I can’t think of how everything will be like if things go right. Then again, I’m not sure I can handle things taking a turn for the worse either. I shouldn’t have invited him. _

_ What if he doesn’t like the food we made? Or what if he decides that my father is terrible? Maybe the man doesn’t always say the best things, but he isn’t a terrible person either. Nevertheless, I worry that they will both pit themselves against each other. _

_ There shouldn’t be anything to worry about, though. I am likely only making myself worry. My father wasn’t angry to hear how close I was with the prince. Maybe he thinks it’s for the best. That it will throw me out of the “phase” he believes I am going through. _

_ And I ended up telling Miles about my magic. He doesn’t know the full context, but he didn’t seem to be put off by it. If nothing else, he didn’t tell anyone about what I had said. Something I am not sure Megan would have done. The difference between them is so clear that it is almost hard to believe that they are even related in the first place. _

_ I am planning on stepping down from my position as a lady-in-waiting. Only, I’ve no clue how Megan is going to react and I’m not sure I want to know. While I know that I won’t have wronged her by leaving, I also don’t want to leave without any other replacement in place. However, I also don’t want whoever goes in my place to be treated the way that I was. There isn’t any good option in that situation. At least that is how it seems. _

A knock on the door pulled Juliet from her writing. There was only one person it could be and she got up from her bed, leaving the notebook on her night stand. She rushed to get to the door, not wanting her father to see him first. The concern of Miles not pronouncing Vietnamese correctly was much too strong for Juliet to let him speak to her father first.

“Hey, you made it!” Juliet exclaimed, reaching out to hug Miles, feeling the material of his jean jacket on her cheek.

Miles chuckled a bit, wrapping his arms around her, “Yeah, so, I’m gonna meet your dad?”

“Um… yeah, it looks like it, you’ve been working on the phrases I taught you, right?” she asked, glancing up at him.

He nodded, “Yeah, I think I got it. At least, some of it. You think he’ll like me?”

“Yes, come on, I think the  _ ca kho to _ is almost ready,” Juliet said, pulling him inside.

Miles blinked, shaking his head as he kicked off his shoes, “The what?”

“It’s… well, it’s kinda like sweet fish. It’s great, and there’s some spring rolls and sweet pudding too,” she explained, seeing her father watching a show on the television.

Vinh got up from the seat and walked up to the pair. All Juliet could do was hope that Miles wouldn’t forget to bow or the phrases she tried to teach him. She should have thought everything through a bit more. Or at least given herself more time to tell Miles how to greet someone. Maybe even a little bit more than that.

“Um…  _ chao anh, ong _ , it’s great to finally meet you,” Miles greeted, holding out his hand to shake.

Vinh shook Miles’s hand, “ _ Chao ahn,  _ you must be Miles.”

Juliet nearly breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Miles bow his head just the slightest bit. Hopefully, her father was paying attention. He was definitely paying attention, she knew her father better than she knew anyone else. And while he wasn’t smiling, Juliet could see the smallest glint in his eyes. If the first impression went well, then Juliet was positive that it was going to be fine from there.

“Yes, I am, um… Juliet invited me… I uh… I hope I’m not intruding,” Miles said, giving a small smile.

The older man shook his head, “No, no, of course not, the food is cooling. Just a few more minutes.”

Once her father went to check on the foods for a moment, Miles looked at Juliet, “Um… how do you think it went?”

“He likes you, don’t worry,” she assured him, smiling.

Miles raised an eyebrow, “He didn’t even smile or anything, though, I feel like you’re just being nice.”

“No, I know my father. He likes you, promise,” Juliet insisted.

It was clear to Juliet that things were going to turn out fine. Sometimes she didn’t agree with her father, but when it came to other people, they ended up agreeing. It wasn’t like they were in a constant state of disagreement.

They were setting up their own plates, Juliet saved the best parts of the food for her father. It was customary and she wasn’t exactly hungry either. Miles was sitting at the dining table already, not paying attention to Juliet and her father.

“You taught him Vietnamese?” 

Juliet nodded, “Only a little.”

“It shows. He listens to you,” her father said before Juliet went to the table.

She couldn’t stop herself from smiling. Those words alone were all she needed for a sense of approval. A part of her had worried that her father was going to scold her for trying to teach Miles Vietnamese when she didn’t have to. But she just wanted Miles to be able to understand what was going on when they casually slipped into a mixture of English and Vietnamese.

It ended up working out for the best, the three of them seeming to get along just fine. The food turned out right and their conversation didn’t take a turn in any of the directions Juliet had been wondering about. She knew that everything she had been worried about was likely going to be okay, but that didn’t stop her from being concerned.

Of course, it was impossible for Miles to not feel nervous. He hadn’t heard much about Juliet’s father and a part of him wondered if that meant that she didn’t want to bring him up because he was a touchy subject. When it came to Juliet, he wasn’t sure if she didn’t talk about certain things because she forgot to mention them or because they were only going to hurt her.

After finally meeting her father, he found himself able to talk without over-analyzing everything that he was doing. It seemed that juliet had been right in her assumption. Sometimes he did wonder if she was only saying things to keep things peaceful.

The only reason he thought that was because of how she told him to not even think about bringing up her therapy. Not that he was going to, but the way she said it was almost like her own dad didn’t know she was going. Either that or she wasn’t supposed to talk about it. In that case, he didn’t understand it.

Bad things happened to perfectly decent people, and sometimes those people needed help. It was obvious that Juliet wasn’t always the most cheerful person, but that didn’t matter to him. What mattered to him was that it was obvious she kept putting effort into being helpful. She was one of the only people who he knew to be kind for no reason other than being kind. Which made him wondered what prompted that.

“So, you have plans for college, yes?” Vinh asked after swallowing the last of his spring roll.

Miles quickly nodded, “Y-yes! I want to study dance so I can teach.”

“Does that make much?”

He nodded again, “Yes, it can make a good amount of money. Of course, it depends where I go to teach. I just know I can’t perform all the time for the rest of my life.”

“Very smart. I think Juliet just wants to write all day,” her father said, shaking his head.

Juliet sighed as she pulled the pudding out of the refrigerator, “I do have plans. Writing a book would be nice, but I’m actually thinking of going into linguistics. Learning more languages and translating for people who need it.”

“And when were you going to say this?”

She shrugged, “I think I was going to mention it when I told you that I’m going to Eugene next year.”

“I knew you would get in. She is a smart girl, but we do not have the money to send her many other places,” her father explained.

Juliet frowned, “ _ Cha, _ you can’t just go around telling people we’re poor.”

“I said nothing to mention that word, you did,” her father insisted.

Miles watched intently. It was almost refreshing to see people in a family who talked to each other without seeming to be underhanded. They seemed to be closer than he was with his own family. Maybe that was his own fault, but he also knew that his family tended to tiptoe around each other in attempt to keep the stability.

While Miles was there, things weren’t too eventful, but he didn’t mind that at all. Juliet was relieved that things had turned out the way they had. Her father liked Miles and Miles seemed to fit in as well. Granted, it was easy to fit in a house that only held two rather quiet people.

“I’m sorry to cut this short, but I think my family wants me home around now,” Miles said, standing up from his chair.

Juliet nodded, standing up as well, “Right, I’ll get the door.”

“Um…  _ Chuc ahn mey man _ , Mr. Phan,” Miles said to Vinh, waving a little.

Juliet laughed a bit, “I think he got it, but I definitely didn’t teach you to say best wishes. Did you use Google?”

Miles’s face reddened a bit as he put on his shoes, “Um… maybe? I don’t know, I wanted to impress you, I guess. But I guess you’re pretty fluent.”

“Which would mean?”

“That I can’t tell you anything you don’t already know?” Miles asked, his eyes squinting in confusion.

Juliet shook her head, smiling, “No, silly, it means that I could definitely teach you if you’d like.”

“I think I’d like that a lot. Now, I really need to get going. You haven’t seen Megan when there’s family over. She’s even more of a nightmare than usual,” he muttered, sighing.

She hugged him, “I can imagine.”

“Well, I’ll see you around,” Miles said, leaning down, pressing a fast kiss to Juliet’s lips.

{Juliet left the entryway smiling, and she walked back to the dining room, feeling like the air was suddenly warm. She rolled up the sleeves of her muted orange sweater.

“You can’t roll your sleeves when you still have scars I can see,” her father insisted.

Juliet frowned, “ _ Cha _ , I know that it makes you uncomfortable, but I haven’t done anything like that in months. And scars take time to fade.”

“Then you should have thought of that before you did anything. Does he know?”  
She shook her head, “No, he doesn’t.”

“Good, he can’t.”

“But… how can he not eventually find out? Come on, I haven’t even told Megan, but Miles is more attentive,” she sighed.

“Megan… is she your friend? I have not seen her in ages.”

“Well, she’s just… she gets a bit busy. Besides, I thought you liked her.”

“I said that she was going places. That could mean anything.”

Juliet sighed, thinking about it before nodding, “Right… I’ve got some homework I need to do.”

She went to her room, trying to process everything. The whole time she had been so convinced that her father had adored Megan just like she thought everyone else did. That Megan was supposed to be a good influence on her. Even though her friend turned out to do absolutely nothing for her or to her. A part of her was beginning to wonder what the point even was if she was doing everything for Megan.

Maybe she should have paid closer attention to her father. If nothing else, she figured that her father liked Miles. Sure, that wasn’t everything, but it would certainly make things easier. She was careful to not mention that she had stayed the night with him twice. 

Of course, she knew that nothing had happened either of those times. And that made her almost positive that Miles wasn’t going to try anything. Megan, however, was a different story. If she ditched Megan without anyone there for her, she wondered what would happen. Especially if she was going to be with Miles at the same time.

_ Sometimes I wonder if the princess has even realized that I am close with her brother. She only pays attention to what she wants to do, but I also don’t want to be on her bad side. I have seen her when she is slightly vengeful. When things don’t go her way, she tends to become enraged and she will do some truly awful things.  _

_ In fact, it is something that I cannot say aloud, but she has a curse that when she becomes too angry, she becomes a dragon. I feel like I am the only person who knows, but I’m not completely sure of that since Miles is her twin.  _

_ Of course, I fear that she will come out to attack me once she decides I have betrayed her. I don’t want that to happen to me. I have seen her slaughter people before to the point that they are embarrassed to show their face for months on end. A couple have even moved away from the kingdom entirely. It is something I wish to avoid. _

_ I am unsure of what she will or what she can do, and that concerns me all the more. Yet, I do not know how much longer I can labor over her every need. I should not have to make myself less in order for her to have things go right. In fact, there is a chance that she won’t even miss me. It wasn’t like she was paying attention when I was slipping into necromancy. Perhaps I can slip this by too, but only if I am careful enough and clever enough as well. _

Juliet knew that there wasn’t much she could do about what was going on. But if nothing else, she knew that there were a handful of things going for her. And that was all she needed in that moment to see a point in keeping herself going.

Though she refused to let herself check her phone in case it was Megan needing her for some random errand. If she did that, she worried that her mood would only deteriorate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter had lots of research and it was a lot of fun!!! I'd love to know what you think!!!


	13. Chapter Thirteen: New Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's what was actually inevitable????

December approached quickly and a couple of weeks seemed to pass exactly like a blur, and Juliet couldn’t figure out where all of the time had gone. Between classes and therapy sessions and everyone around her, she couldn’t catch a break. It was difficult for Juliet to figure out what she was supposed to make of the situation.

Although, she also had Miles there with her and she was beginning to hang out with Veronica a little bit more. Not enough to make Megan feel like Juliet was being a terrible friend. Though, sometimes Megan would claim just that. While it did leave Juliet wishing she could be anywhere else, she was determined to be there for her friend. She just hoped that Megan would eventually appreciate the effort.

The problem was that no one new ever came to the school. Granted, it had been wishful thinking that someone would come into the school and immediately befriend Megan so Juliet could leave. 

She kept finding herself feeling burned out when it came to Megan. There was never a moment where they just hung out or talked about things that didn’t deal with guys or something else that seemed rather pointless.

Megan still didn’t know about everything going on. Maybe if Juliet had said something, things would have been different. Perhaps Megan would have been more careful with her words. However, even Miles felt like that was wishful thinking as well.

Granted, Miles didn’t even know the full situation and he was exponentially kinder towards her. He didn’t snap or claim that she was an idiot. In reality, he did almost the exact opposite. 

Unless it dealt with her simply taking everything Megan was saying to her. And maybe she wasn’t supposed to be a human doormat, but Juliet couldn’t help herself. No one ever taught her how to tell someone to screw off. Then, as semester drew closer, Juliet felt like the end of the school year was even closer as well.

It was only a matter of time before they all went off to college and did their own things. And Juliet knew that meant a lot of things when it came to Miles and herself, but she didn’t mind. Just because there was a decent chance it wouldn’t last for forever didn’t mean that they couldn’t have a good relationship in the moment. She couldn’t imagine trying to get out of a relationship that did make her happy.

“So… the tangent is opposite over adjacent, which means you can use that to find the hypotenuse in this problem… that makes sense, right?” Juliet said, looking at Chris and Veronica.

Chris nodded, “Yep, crystal clear.”

“If it’s not making sense, I need you guys to tell me,” she told them, sighing a little.

He shook his head, “No, seriously, this stuff does make a lot more sense. You’re pretty good at this. You could go into teaching.”

“Oh, no, she definitely couldn’t. The students would walk all over her. They would never get anything done. Haven’t you seen us? We don’t walk over her, but we’ve distracted her so easily,” Veronica pointed out, looking up from her calculator.

Juliet rolled her eyes a little, “I don’t know, I think I might lose my mind with all this holiday stuff.”

“Ah, come on, it’s almost Christmas,” Chris whined.

Juliet shook her head, “No, it’s just over two weeks away and we get out at the end of the week. If you guys pass the test, I might bring something, though.”

“Oh what?” Chris asked, his eyes widening with excitement.

Veronica smirked, “It doesn’t count if it’s something that comes out of your lunch.”

“No, I was gonna go to the Vietnamese place and get something… but if you don’t want that, then there’s just gonna be more for me.”

“What! No! I never get Vietnamese! You gotta bring some,” he pleaded.

Juliet shrugged, “You guys just have to pass your tests. Which means you pass the semester.”

Lately, tutoring had been one of the things she found herself looking forward to in the morning. When she took the time to focus and realize Veronica and Chris were nice people, she found herself getting involved in their constant banter. It was the most she ever talked in a group that was larger than two people.

Then if Miles happened to stop in the library at the same time, which happened quite a bit, things would get off topic for around ten minutes and it made Juliet finally feel like a regular person. She didn’t feel like she had to be perfect and it was refreshing to have to be sushed by the librarian for laughing rather than being snapped at.

She couldn’t help wishing that she had stopped being friends with Megan before high school started. Before things had gone way too far because she was quickly realizing everything she had been missing thanks to her friend. If she could even call Megan a friend. She wasn’t sure if that was possible with Megan constantly berating her.

Every once in a great while, Juliet would get to a point where she would realize that she deserved better than what her situation was. It was a fleeting one week at most, and it was when she would end up making her slightly sarcastic comments loud enough so they could be heard. She knew that the way Megan treated her wasn’t right, but she also knew that despite the confidence burst, she couldn’t leave her friend to the dogs. It didn’t make her any better than Megan. At least, that was how she saw it.

Miles didn’t quite understand why Juliet was so particular about making sure Megan had someone, and she couldn’t bring herself to tell him. She couldn’t come up with a story convoluted enough to not explain everything that she had gone through in the process.

Still, Miles didn’t try to separate Juliet from his sister. It didn’t matter how toxic things were. He wanted Juliet to make her own choice, and he always tried to be there when things got to be to much. Though, with the holiday stress, things only got worse. And he wouldn’t point it out to Juliet or anyone else, but he could tell that Juliet had at least one breakdown a week. 

Whenever she broke down the night before, her eyes were still slightly puffy and the way she stared at everything made it look like she didn’t quite understand what was going on. While that fog would normally fade by lunch, Miles was starting to know better. Something broke her down enough and he wasn’t sure if it was all Megan or if her father had something to do with it too, but he wouldn’t point it out.

If she wasn’t telling him, then clearly she didn’t want him to know what was going on. It worried him a little bit, but he didn’t tell her that. Instead, he would let her say what she wanted to without telling her she had to talk. Sometimes he would make it clear that he knew she wasn’t okay, but he never tried to call her out from school again. 

While it had worked like a charm at the time, between finals and the snowy weather, Miles didn’t want to try it again just yet. Besides, he only wanted to do that if he could tell that there was something severely wrong and she couldn’t do anything about it.

“You’re coming the the dance at the end of the week, right?” Miles asked, reaching over to hold her hand.

Juliet nodded, “Yeah, of course I am!”

“Okay, good, I got you a ticket-”

“Wait I had to pay? I can get the money for it, Miles, it’s fine-”

“No. I’m paying, I want you to see it from the perfect place. I mean, you like stories, right?” 

Juliet smiled a bit, “Yes, of course I do. How can I be a writer without reading?”

“Well… it’s like a visual story, there’s not a lot of words. I guess that makes it better, well, for me anyways,” Miles said, not hiding a glare when he saw Megan show up.

Megan smiled a bit, “Come on, Julie, I need help sorting out Christmas cards. If they don’t go out soon, they’ll never make it on time. Postal service is an absolute shit show around here, don’t you think?”

“I mean… I guess, see ya,” Juliet said, letting go of Miles.

Every time, Juliet worried that Miles was going to break up with her because of Megan and because of all the times she would just leave to help Megan, but he never did. Though it was obvious that he didn’t like it. Not that she blamed him, it wasn’t a great thing, having to leave so suddenly all the time.

“You know, if you’re keeping Miles a secret, you’re fucking terrible at it,” Megan commented, sitting down at a table.

Juliet sighed, “Not keeping it a secret. We’ve been together for almost a month.”

“I don’t know if I like it or not. On one hand, you don’t have to ditch me, the boy lives in the house-”

“Can we talk about your Christmas cards?”

Megan raised an eyebrow, but Juliet wasn’t about to say anything more. She didn’t want to cause an argument or make anyone angry.

It wasn’t like getting Christmas cards together was difficult. Juliet was only organizing everything. All it was, was simple busywork. Why Megan couldn’t have done it herself, she wasn’t sure. Of course, it wasn’t a big deal either, and it beat being yelled at for being an incompetent friend. Something Veronica had claimed was a complete lie.

A part of Juliet almost couldn’t wait to leave Megan, and she just wished that she could get up from the table and go over to Miles and Veronica. Technically, there wasn’t anything stopping her. Except the fact that she knew what it felt like to be on her own. But was ensuring Megan wasn’t alone worth all of the effort she was making?

Of course it was. It had to be, but some days were worse than others and she didn’t know what she could do about it. What would happen if she told Megan how she felt? She wasn’t sure if it was a risk she was willing to take.

“So… I’m thinking of having a Christmas party while my parents are out of town… do you think you’d be free at the end of the week?” Megan asked, signing another card.

Juliet looked up, thinking for a moment, “I don’t think I am… you might have to find a different designated sober person.”

“Hey. Don’t give yourself so much credit. You don’t do jack shit at my parties. You never help clean up, actually, last time you were busy making a mess in the kitchen with my brother. Wait.”

“What?”

“That’s why you can’t go to my party. You’re watching his performance. Julie, what the hell?! You were my friend first. You can’t just ditch me because you’re fucking my brother every other day,” Megan snapped, setting down the card.

Juliet shook her head, “I’m not… I’m still your friend. I’m sitting with you right now, I’m not about to ditch you-”

“Then why do you keep looking at him? He’s totally cheating on you with Veronica. Julie, I’m looking out for you, he’s a fuckboi!” Megan exclaimed, “And you know what? He doesn’t care about you at all. He thinks your pathetic.”

“That’s not true,” Juliet said, not looking up, “You’re just saying that because you’re jealous and insecure. And I don’t know why, but holy shit, it’s getting really annoying.”

Megan squinted her eyes, “You bitch, I’ve done so much for you. And you’re just gonna leave me for some piece of white trash who can’t fuck you all that great-”

“And how the hell would you know?”

“His attitude, Julie, trust me, I’m looking out for you.” Megan insisted, her eyebrows raising.

Juliet crossed her arms, “Are you looking out for me or for yourself? Because it feels like a lot of this has to deal with you being the selfish one here.”

“No. You’re not listening to me. You never fucking listen. You’ve been nothing but a terrible friend and you’re never there for me when I need you!” Megan exclaimed, slamming her pen against the table.

Juliet bit her lip. Was she being a terrible friend? What if she was just overreacting? This wasn’t supposed to happen just yet. She wasn’t supposed to fight with Megan, she was supposed to leave slowly and quietly, but she couldn’t do that when she finally just couldn’t take it anymore. 

It wasn’t any specific thing. Yes, she hated that she lied about Miles, but she also couldn’t stand that Megan would constantly use her. What if she wasn’t looking at it from the right perspective? Just because Megan wasn’t being the best person right then didn’t mean that she deserved to be alone.

Though Juliet could also see Miles in the corner of her eye. He was sitting up, looking at her. A few more people were watching too, noticing the sudden commotion. Of course, after a moment, most of those people went back to whatever it was they were doing. However, she could tell Miles was still watching, and she was almost positive that Veronica was doing the same thing.

Maybe, for just once in her life, Juliet needed to think of herself.

“If I’m such a terrible friend… then why have I been doing your homework whenever you asked? Why have I been following you around hand and foot?! Is that kind of consideration something that makes me a terrible friend?” Juliet asked, her gaze hardening.

Megan blinked, leaning back, “Oh, come on, you’re just overreacting. I’m trying to help. If you don’t want me to help, then just tell me.”

“No. You don’t get it. I have worked my ass off to please you for years! Shit, you got into Cornell, which you never told me, because of what I did. And then let’s not forget every single time you’ve called me an idiot or told me that I was incompetent-”

“Now, you really don’t understand, I don’t mean-”

“No! Now you’re going to listen to me, dammit!” Juliet snapped, “I’m not done yet, and I-I don’t want you cutting me off. I would never have done that. You don’t get it! You’ve done nothing but belittle me… and you remember that time you tried to ‘get me laid’? Yeah, if it wasn’t for Miles, I think I might’ve been raped that night, so mark that down too. So you know what? I’m done,” Juliet spluttered, starting to get up.

Megan glared, “You’re lying! I haven’t done anything wrong this whole time! You’re just pushing me away because of everyone else. I can’t believe this! Julie, would you really do something like this?”

“I wasn’t the one who did it, you did,” Juliet said simply before getting up from the table and going over to Miles and Veronica.

No one else noticed, and that was for the best. Juliet still hadn’t processed everything she had said, maybe that was for the best, but she also knew there would be time to process it later when she finally made it to Dr. Johnson after school.

Veronica and Miles didn’t even think about questioning what had happened, and Juliet had no way of knowing if they even heard what had been said. Maybe it was better that they had no idea. At least, that was what Juliet thought.

Instead of making any sort of comment, Miles put an arm around Juliet’s shoulders. He hadn’t quite heard what she said, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know. Still, he also knew that whatever it was, there was no way it had been easy. And he looked at Veronica in an attempt to keep her from asking any questions about what happened.

“That was… a bit ahead of schedule, wasn’t it,” Juliet sighed, brushing a hand through some of her hair.

Miles nodded, “Maybe, but it’s for the best. You need to take care of yourself.”

“Plus, that means we can finally hang out more. It’ll be worth it, and I’ll finally show you what a real friend is supposed to be like,” Veronica added, grinning.

Juliet smiled weakly, “Yeah… I get that, but who’s gonna… well, you know.”

“Hey, I’ll check in on her if it means that much to you,” Miles told her, pulling her a little bit closer.

The rest of the school day blurred right past Juliet and it wasn’t because she had a fog around her, but because her mind refused to slow down. What was going to happen to everyone? She had no way of knowing what was going to happen, and it left her thinking about everything that had ever happened between Megan and herself. Had she overreacted? What if she had been ditching Megan in the first place? Did that mean she was the bad friend?


	14. Chapter Fourteen: Friendly Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coming to terms with the past

“Juliet, you seem rather preoccupied today, did something happen at school?” asked Dr. Johnson as he wrote something down in his notebook.

Juliet sighed a bit, “Yeah… you know how I’m always talking about Megan and how she was my one friend?”

“Yes.”

“Well… I-I’ve been dating her twin, Miles. And he’s actually really kind. He’s never pressured me to do anything or asked me to do too much. A-and he’s just completely different from Megan and it was so refreshing that I guess… well I couldn’t get enough of that. I also ended up being friends with someone else he knows. A-and they said that I definitely couldn’t stay friends with Megan. Not when she uses me. At least, that’s what they’ve been telling me.”

“You make it sound like you don’t believe them,” Dr. Johnson noted.

She shrugged, “Well, I-I don’t know. Because I remember everything that she’s said, but then I also keep second-guessing everything because I don’t want to end up overreacting or anything… and the plan always was to wait for someone else to be her friend. I-I didn’t want to leave her alone, you know?”

“I do… you know what it’s like to be in a dark place while alone, and you didn’t want her to follow that same path either, did you?”

“I didn’t… but today I just, well, I-I couldn’t take it. I snapped at her and called her out on everything I could think of and then I turned around and left. Does that make me a bad person?”

“Let me ask you this, why do you care about whether or not that makes you a bad person?” he questioned, looking at Juliet.

“Because… I don’t want to end up leaving her only to be worse than she was. I don’t want to be another version of the person who I ended up being unable to stand. Who ended up hurting me. At least, I think she hurt me.”

Dr. Johnson nodded slowly, “If I may, you’ve described some aspects of the friendship in the past, saying you felt like a servant. Now, I’m not at liberty to say whether or not what you did was right or not, but it did sound like an abusive and toxic relationship for your end of things.”

“And you’re supposed to get out of stuff like that, right? I-I mean, I know that. Of course, I know that, but was it right to leave her when she had absolutely no one there to help her out at the end of the day? I don’t want her to end up hurting because I couldn’t take it.”

“It’s not your responsibility to take the weight of someone else’s problems. It’s not anyone else’s responsibility either,” he pointed out.

Juliet sighed, “But don’t you do that?”

“No, actually. I listen to what you have going on and I help you to deal with what happens around you. Notice that in you story, you’ve never once mentioned that I absorbed your powers or tried to take them away. I’ve only helped you to better understand.”

Juliet gave an exasperated sigh, “Well, then am I a bad person or not?”

“That’s up to you to decide… but I would say that if you’re already feeling so guilty, that it’s not because you’re a bad person. Rather you’re worried she’ll go through what you went through,” Dr. Johnson explained.

“But… no one deserves to go through what I did.”

“And what did you go through.”

Juliet frowned, “Y-you know that I… do I really have to say it out loud?”

“Yes. Admitting it will allow for you to grow from what happened at a faster rate.”

There were many reasons Juliet never actually specified what had happened to her, and her fear of someone judging her left her trying to avoid so much as admitting something had happened to her in the first place. Still, it wasn’t like she was talking to someone she didn’t trust. Dr. Johnson wasn’t going to tell anyone anything. There was a confidentiality agreement for a good reason, and Juliet knew that there was no reason for her to hesitate.

However, it felt like it would have been easier to not talk about it period. Forgetting had to be better for her, right? She wasn’t the same person or even in the same situation she had been in back then. Wouldn’t talking about it only make things worse? Bringing back the old memories didn’t sound like the best idea to her.

Eventually, Juliet did have to talk, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted to. She lost most of the courage she had built up earlier. Instead she stared at the sleeves of her dark green sweater.

“You know, I can tell you’re stalling. Why don’t you start with why you’re always wearing long sleeves,” Dr. Johnson offered.

Juliet pursed her lips, choosing to look at her skinny jeans instead, “I-I used to cut there… it’s not important though. I haven’t done anything like that in months. Not since the whole… um… well, since I tried to kill myself. And I feel like things have gotten better, but sometimes the instinct’s still there.”

“It is addicting. It’s not a bad thing that you think about it. Do you have anyone else who knows about what is going on or who knows how to help you?”

She shook her head, “No one knows about all that stuff, but um… Miles ended up finding out about the disassociating. I had a breakdown after Megan kept criticizing me and he found me and he wouldn’t let me stay on my own… maybe that’s for the best. I really couldn’t tell you. But I know that he cares, and I don’t want him to stop caring.”

“Do you think that he would?”

“I don’t want to find out.”

“If he's truly as nice as you claim him to be, then he would be understanding of your situation. However, what you say is your choice, but it may not be wise to wait a long time.”

“But if it happened in the past, then what does it really matter?”

Dr. Johnson sighed, shaking his head, “Does he know you've self harmed? Can he see the scars?”

“My father won't even allow me to wear short sleeves and he flips out when I so much as roll up my sleeves. If that's how he acts, why should I expect anything less from someone else?”

It was true, how was she supposed to expect someone else to react? What if Miles was horrified at what she had done? But it wasn't supposed to matter. It had been months ago. The cuts were far from fresh and even scarred over. They were probably never going to fad, and that was what scared her. If only she had thought it through more at the time. But how could she have done anything at that point? There hadn't been anyone there to stop her.

“I'm telling you, if he's as nice and understanding as you make him out to be, he will understand.”

“How do I tell anyone that I tried to kill myself? I mean, I could talk about the… well… the cutting, sure, but everything else, no.”

“Then start off with what's easiest. I can't guarantee how he would respond, though.”

Juliet sighed, it was the last thing she wanted to do. Everything was going just fine, why would she ruin it with all of the dumb things she had done before? Of course, Dr. Johnson would claim that she had no reason to be ashamed of her past. That her father simply had different morals and that wasn't a bad thing.

Still, without knowing the certain outcome, Juliet wasn't sure how she was supposed to so much as get the words out to Miles. And if she told him, that would mean it would come up with someone like Veronica, but at least it wouldn't be Megan. Perhaps that was the person she was the most scared of talking to, but after cutting things off so abruptly, there wasn't any reason for her to worry about that.

The rest of the session passed by with Juliet trying to find some sense of piece with no longer staying friends with Megan. There was no longer any form of continuity with her life. She was around an entirely different set of people with a whole new set of thoughts. And whether that was good for her or not, she wasn’t sure. However, while Dr. Johnson insisted that he wouldn’t tell her what she should do, he did seem to think that what she had done was more than justifiable which was enough for her in the moment.

If it was clear that she hadn’t been overreacting, then she did her best to not worry about it. Although, the more she thought about it and the more she thought about Megan and then about Miles, she knew that it wouldn’t be the last time she spoke with Megan.

_ December _

_ I cannot recall the date to save my life, so I will simply write the month. The day has been insane, and while I believe I have finally committed the utmost betrayal that I have ever done, I do not think I could have handled the stress any longer. _

_ However, I also have no clue of what the princess will do about it. She is a vengeful woman and I fear she will attempt to harm me. But with Miles around, I’m unsure how she will pursue that. Technically, leaving my position isn’t illegal, but I also know that I snapped entirely. _

_ I have never felt myself fill up with such confidence and I am unsure if it will ever happen again. But the ecstacy I have received from no longer having to wait on her hand and foot is unbelievable. She doesn’t control me anymore, not that she ever had. _

_ And as guilty as I may feel, I also know that my situation would have only worsened by staying. I wish there could have been another way, but even Veronica claimed that she saw it coming. _

_ As it turns out, she is Miles’s personal fortune teller. She knows what will happen. It’s almost as though she has powers similar to mine. Only, she is so open with them that I feel like that simply cannot be true. It would be far too good. Though, Frank continues to insist that it is okay for me to share my story, I also know that whether it is legal or not does not matter so long as the stigma behind my situation remains in place. _

_ I do not want people to think of me as weak or as someone who truly lost my way. While I did, I know that they will only pity me for what is supposed to be forgotten about. People would never let me get through everything, which is why I cannot bring myself to understand why Frank insists that it’s for the best. _

_ People do not deserve to know my personal life if it does not mean anything to me now. Sure, I still have moments where things flare up, but I have not once turned to necromancy since the original incident. The same incident which no one knows about and no one needs to know about. Surely there can be another explanation to those scars. And eventually, they surely must fade away. _

_ There’s no way that they would ever stay, right? I have no idea what I will do if they remain for the rest of my life. I suppose I will end up hating the warmer months. Honestly, I would do anything to be able to hide what happened. It should be behind me and I should no longer have the need to face it. _


	15. Chapter Fifteen: The Nutcracker

“What’re you doing, Meg?” Miles asked as he finished filling up his water bottle.

Megan huffed, “I’m getting ready to go to your dumb ballet thing. Julie’s gonna be there, right?”

“Yeah… because she’s my girlfriend and she said she was going. You’re not actually thinking of going because she’s gonna be there, are you? Because that’s sick and bullshit.”

Megan stood up from her barstool, “It’s not sick. What’s sick is that you tore away my best friend from me.”

“Cut the act. Less than a month ago you implied she was a lying bitch who was a drain of a friend. You’re just mad because you lost whatever control you thought you had over her,” Miles pointed out, screwing the lid back on.

She rolled her eyes, “Don’t act so high and mighty. Mom and Dad aren’t even coming tonight and you know it.”

“Dad said that he might.”

“It’s a lie and you know it. He probably doesn’t even feel bad about it. Not to mention you’re wasting so much of our money with all this shit… and for what?”

Miles glared at Megan, “You’re not putting this on me. If you want people to stick around, maybe you should treat people with a better attitude than… whatever the hell this is supposed to be.”

Megan didn’t say anything and Miles slung his gym bag over his shoulder and walked out of the house. No response was probably the worst way to leave the room, but Miles also had to get going. He couldn’t afford to be late to his own performance when he needed to warm up. Not to mention, he was more than aware of the fact that it wouldn’t matter what he said, if Megan had an idea, she was probably going to go through with it.

All he could do was hope that whatever happened wouldn’t turn out badly. Besides, it was going to be a large crowd in a dark auditorium. There was a decent chance that Megan wouldn’t find Juliet in the first place.

Although, there was a part of his mind that worried if Megan tried confronting Juliet, that things would go downhill quickly and that he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. But there had to be someone else who would help out if things got like that, right? Surely Juliet had other friends. She was easily the kindest person he knew. Then again, she was also one of the quietest.

Despite the fact he had finally taken a month to genuinely sit down and get to know her, Miles still felt like he only knew so much about Juliet. He knew where she wanted to go if she was having a breakdown, and he knew that she was far brighter than she would normally let on. Outside of that, he had no idea what would happen if Megan tried to talk to her.

Juliet looked over her outfit in the mirror, and she pulled on the sleeve of her sweater dress. It had been around an hour since Veronica had left. If it weren’t for Veronica, Juliet wouldn’t have known what to wear. She probably wouldn’t have been able to make a single decision.

Sure, it wasn’t supposed to be such a huge issue, but Juliet took time when it came to making choices. Veronica almost forced her to come to a fairly quick decision. 

“Where are you going?” asked her father.

Juliet shrugged, pulling on a jean jacket she had stolen from Miles, “To Miles’s ballet recital… did you need something?”

“No, just wondering. Do not be out too late,” he replied.

She nodded, “Yep, got it! I’ll be back right after, promise.”

With that, Juliet walked out of the house, seeing Chris’s beaten up van pulled up in the driveway. It felt so strange to be around an entirely different group of people. What was likely the strangest thing was having more than just one friend. Though, Juliet never mentioned that to anyone. If she did, she felt like it would end up sounding far more attention-seeking than she would have intended.

So she got into Chris’s car, “You know he’s probably not gonna be seeing you much, right?”

“Um… well, that’s not the point, is it?” Juliet replied, messing around with the jacket.

Chris shook his head as he pulled out, “Except it definitely is, but you’re more likely to see Megan than Miles.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Wish I were, but that’s why I’m going. Because Ronnie definitely would handle someone like Megan better, but I’m better than leaving you on your own,” he explained.

Juliet frowned, “What about his parents or something?”

“I’ve gathered that from Ronnie, Miles isn’t getting a whole lot of familial support… at least, that’s my best guess. So I guess this is probably the best thing you could do for him.”

The drive was filled with small talk. Though, after Chris admitted to primarily being there because of Megan, Juliet almost wondered what everyone thought would have happened. She wasn’t angry about it, if she were to be honest with herself, there was no way she had the mental strength to defend herself.

Especially when she did often feel her stomach eat at itself over what had happened with her ex-friend. When Juliet had promised to cut Megan off, she hadn’t meant to completely snap. It was supposed to have been so slow of a process that Megan wouldn’t have given it a second thought. And she wasn’t supposed to be on her own. 

Of course, it also couldn’t have been Juliet’s job to sacrifice her own mental health just so Megan could be happy. That was what she had been doing for years. It had been unrealistic and simply wishful thinking to hope that Juliet could have found someone else to be Megan’s friend. She knew that wasn’t how the world worked, but she hadn’t wanted to leave things the way they were.

“What if… I just talked things through with her?” Juliet asked as Chris parked.

He shook his head, “Nope, I’m under strict orders to not let you talk to her under any circumstances.”

“But… come on, everyone saw me when I completely lost my shit! I can’t just leave her alone like that, can I? It’s not right,” she insisted.

Chris looked at Juliet, “Okay, look, can I be brutally honest with you?”

“Um… sure, I guess?”

“You were literally Megan’s slave for so long. And you’re just now starting to get yourself together. Like, you should’ve seen yourself before. You were a wreck, constantly trying to please someone who, couldn’t give less of a fuck about you. In reality, you’re better off on your own. Or with Miles or Ronnie or me or anyone. Just not her. And you don’t have to get closure to everything. So, no, you’re not gonna talk to Megan.”

“Okay, I get that, but I still feel bad!” she exclaimed.

He rolled his eyes, “That’s the point! If you feel bad, she’s gonna use that against you and she’s gonna be the same manipulative bitch that we all know and hate.”

As aggressive as Chris was being about the situation, Juliet also knew that he was right. Things weren’t going to be any different than they were before. Megan would only make her think that was the case, and she couldn’t fall for that again. Juliet knew it wasn’t going to change, but that didn’t stop her from wishing and hoping that it finally would.

So instead of attempting to argue in Megan’s favor, Juliet gave a small nod before pushing the door open to get out of the van. Getting away from people who were inherently terrible was supposed to be easy. At least, that was what Juliet thought how things were supposed to work. Clearly, that wasn’t the case. Megan was awful, that much had been clear to Juliet for some time, but that didn’t mean it was easy to cut someone off who had been ingrained in her life for years.

When she thought about it, Megan definitely hadn’t always been terrible to her. Maybe that was why she stuck around for so long. 

All the same, she knew that it was better to have Chris around to make sure that she wouldn’t inadvertently betray herself in the process. Besides, there was also the chance that Megan wouldn’t show up to the performance anyhow. It was just a precaution, and Juliet didn’t mind having Chris around. He was a good guy and more important than that, she trusted him.

“Okay, but Miles and Ronnie are actually the best, they got us some pretty good seats, come on,” Chris said, pulling Juliet over to where they were supposed to be seated.

It was always easy to notice Megan when she walked into a room. What was difficult was avoiding her when it was obvious that she had some sort of goal in mind. Juliet was one of the first people to see Megan and she tried to shrink back in her seat. Though, something told her that it wasn’t going to be all that helpful. Especially when she was walking right towards Chris and herself.

Megan wore a hot pink dress that hugged her all the way around with matching heels and lipstick. The way her makeup was done was enough to tell Juliet that Megan wasn’t there to mess around. And Juliet wanted nothing more than to get up and leave and call Miles later and make up some dumb excuse. That she was sick and had suddenly started throwing up. Or maybe that she had gotten Ebola somehow, because that was a disease that definitely thrived in Oregon.

Yet, Juliet couldn’t bring herself to get up or move. She couldn’t bring herself to do anything other than remain in her seat. She couldn’t bring herself to even tell Chris what was obviously happening. She couldn’t bring herself to stop thinking about everything she had said to Megan earlier.

Everyone said that she had been justified, but was she? What if she had gone just a little bit overboard? Any trace of the courage she had felt in that lunchroom days before had been completely sucked out of her. How could she face anyone like this? And it didn’t matter how much Juliet mentally willed Megan to leave, the blonde kept coming.

“What a fun coincidence! Julie, I was looking for you and now I’m sitting right next to you!” Megan greeted, looking between Juliet and Chris.

Chris stood up, “You’re not supposed to be here… what are you doing?”

“Um… thought it was obvious, came to cheer on my brother. Family members do get into the show for free, after all,” Megan responded, looking like she was about to roll her eyes.

He glared at Megan, “You’re not here for that.”

“And how would you know? You don’t know me, tranny. Now let me sit down,” she said cooly. 

Juliet tried to piece everything together in her head and it did make sense. Of course Miles would give her one of the tickets meant for his parents and then the other one was given to Chris. That left Megan who hadn’t been properly factored into the equation.

The only saving grace was that Chris sat next to Megan. He had Juliet switch seats, and she felt some of the gnawing in her stomach release. It was obvious that if Megan had any sort of plans, Chris wasn’t about to let it happen. 

That allowed Juliet to focus on the dancing and the overall show. Though, she never forgot that Megan was exceedingly closer than Juliet would have ever preferred. Juliet’s leg kept bouncing up and down as she watched and it got to the point where Chris had to put his hand on her thigh in order to get her to stop.

It was so obvious that this wasn’t how things were supposed to turn out, but what had any of them expected? Deep down, Juliet knew it had been naive of her to think that Megan would let something like this just slip by so easily. Especially after how abruptly everything had happened. She was so lost in thought that she almost hadn’t seen Miles go on the stage. Although, when she did notice, she couldn’t help feeling a sense of pride. That he was incredible, and it occurred to her that he had never shown her any of his dancing. Sure, there was homecoming, but that was one dance where she was just trying to follow what he was doing.

Everything was fine until intermission. Once that started, Chris wasn’t able to just move Juliet around so Megan couldn’t say anything. Though, he did try, and he probably thought he had succeeded, but Juliet knew that he hadn’t. She didn’t mention it, though.

When Chris had tried leading Juliet away, Megan slipped right by her, making sure to whisper in her ear.

“You wanna start shit? I can do that. Just watch.”

With that, Megan left. She didn’t seem to have any intention of staying for the next part. And Juliet should have felt the ache in her stomach lessen, but she only felt a stronger gnawing and she could only feel herself starting to shake.


	16. Chapter Sixteen: New Times

It was easy for life to continue on for Juliet. Even though Megan still popped up in her head every once in awhile, it was impossible to avoid her entirely with Miles being her sibling, things felt like they were starting to look up. Juliet had finally gotten into the college she had applied to and was waiting on getting scholarships.

Pairing that with her newfound group of friends, and Juliet felt like things were starting to look up. Obviously it wasn’t just Miles, though he was always making sure that she was okay, but she’d finally started getting closer to Veronica and Chris. All of them combined made the winter break that had quickly approached a better time than she could have ever guessed.

A part of her wished that she had just up and left Megan awhile ago. If she had, then maybe she would have been a bit happier. Sure, friends weren’t going to fix all of her problems. Juliet would never expect them to fix her problems. That would be asking too much of all them.

It was finally Christmas. A day that ended up approaching all too quickly and catching everyone off-guard. Particularly her father. That was understandable. With only two people in the house, doing anything that involved celebrating felt more than a little bit silly. However, celebrating with people she was friends with, even if only for a short amount of time, felt like it made more sense. Her friends had ended up treating her better than anyone else she had been around in years.

“Are you going out with your friends?” asked her father.

Juliet nodded as she pulled on her coat, “Yeah, we’re doing New Year’s over at Miles’s place.”

“You got them all presents?” he questioned.

She nodded again, grabbing her bag and then another bag that was filled with presents, “Yep. I think they’re gonna like them. I’ll make sure to be back at a decent time tomorrow with Veronica, okay?”

“Good. I think that I like those friends. Um… I think your mother would have liked them too,” he told her, looking up from the book that he was reading.

Juliet smiled a little, “You think so?”

“Yes. They’re not abrasive and you seem to enjoy being around them,” he replied.

Juliet nodded, “Well, I’d say that sounds about right… um, I gotta run.”

While she was almost too quick to leave and get into Miles’s car, she did leave the house smiling. She couldn’t remember the last time anyone had said something like that to her. If she took a moment to sit and think about it, she probably could have come with another time. Though she doubted that it would have been any time after her mother had passed.

The winter air was cold and there was a slight wind, something Juliet had hoped to avoid with her coat and leggings, but the wind somehow managed to bite right through everything. Winter wasn’t normally so vicious, but Juliet didn’t question it and instead rushed into Miles’s car and opened the door,

“You’ve got an awful lot of stuff,” Miles commented, turning up the heater.

Juliet shrugged, “You could say that.”

She had the bag set in her lap and held her hands out so they could get warmed up. Miles started driving, and it was then that Juliet noticed that Christmas music he had on full blast.

“Ya know, you’re gonna love what I got you,” Miles told her, grinning.

Juliet shook her head, “I’d love anything you got me. Also, I told you that you didn’t have to get me anything.”

“You knew I wasn’t gonna listen to you, right? Come on, you’re my girlfriend, and you’re also just a really great person. Have I told you that?” he asked, glancing over at her.

She felt her face heat up a little, “Yeah, kinda a lot.”

“Well, it’s because you are. Just saying,” Miles said, reaching out to hold her hand.

When they finally got to his house, Chris’s car was already pulled up to the driveway. Miles helped Juliet out of his car before they got into the house where there were muffled shouts.

“It’s literally my house! Is it such a fucking crime for me to be here?!” Megan yelled.

Veronica rolled her eyes, “The whole point here is that you said you weren’t gonna be here. Besides, I thought you had  _ so many _ other friends!”

“Maybe I decided to cancel. Is that such a crime?!” she exclaimed.

Juliet slowly stepped in behind Miles. The only thing stopping her from turning around was the fact that it was still well below freezing outside. 

It was so obvious that the reason Megan was there had everything to do with the fact that she had no other friends. Juliet knew that was going to happen, and she had just decided to let it happen.

“Come on, we’ll just sneak by,” Miles whispered, leading her right behind where Megan was standing.

If they’d been caught, it wasn’t like anything or anyone was going to come out and kill them, but it certainly felt like it. Though, it seemed like Veronica and Megan were too invested in being at each other’s throats to really pay any attention to Miles and Juliet.

Instead of staying around and watching the fight continue, Miles led Juliet up to his room. That was where Chris had decided to stay, laying across Miles’s bed, playing on his phone. When the door opened, he sat up, getting off the bed.

“What? I thought I’d let you two lovebirds have it,” Chris teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

Juliet rolled her eyes, “Right.”

She set the bag with presents down on the floor and then took out her notebook before sitting down on the bed. It was pretty normal for everyone to see her writing in it. No one really questioned it. At least, Juliet didn’t think anyone questioned it very much. If someone asked her what she was doing, she had no clue what she would even say.

“Whatever, Chris. Anyways, I thought you said you were gonna keep Veronica from tearing out Megan’s throat,” Miles said with a small laugh.

Chris smirked as he ran a hand through his dirty blond hair, “Yeah, maybe I did, but I don’t see you going out there to stop it.”

“That’s because I know both of them to know not to get involved,” Miles pointed out with a shrug.

_ I know that I shouldn’t feel guilty, but everything is exactly as I feared it would be. Megan is completely alone. She tried to lie about having somewhere to go on Christmas. I knew that this was going to happen. Hell, Veronica told me that it was almost certain when I told her I was so worried about it. _

_ Everyone’s always claiming that it’s not my fault. That she deserves it. But how could someone so high up in the world deserve so many awful things? The worst of it is really that she’s all alone now. That she has no one to be with. And if the others would just let me, I would go right back to her. Though, deep down, I know that everyone else is right and that I need to stay away from her. It’s what everyone has advised.  _

_ But if it’s the right thing to do, then why do I constantly feel a small gnawing in the pit of my stomach when I have nothing else to think about? _

_ Still everything with the prince is as amazing as it could possibly be. I cannot remember wanting to be around people so often before. All of the people I have begun to surround myself with are phenomenal. _

Juliet looked up when she felt the bed shift as Miles sat next to her. He didn’t look to see what she was writing, but she instinctively shut the book and set it aside. Suddenly she felt Miles wrapping his arms around her and pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“Christ, if I knew I was gonna get stuck peeping in on a game of seven minutes in heaven, I’d take my chances out there,” Chris commented, looking between Juliet and Miles.

Miles smirked, turning Juliet’s face so he could kiss her on the lips, “That better for ya, dude?”

“This is sickening. Get a room,” Chris said, shaking his eyes.

“Actually… this is a room, it’s Miles’s room, actually,” she pointed out with a small smile.

It was different, getting used to having Miles so close to her almost all the time. To think that it was almost a new year. A year that she hadn’t counted on making it to. A year that she definitely hadn’t thought was going to involve Miles at all. A year that ended up changing so much of her life. Though, Juliet was starting to feel like it was for the better.

The door opened, “Miles, why the fuck would you invite people tonight?!”

“Because I didn’t get to see them for Christmas. And you said you had plans,” Miles said, not letting Juliet go.

Megan laughed, “Right, because you’re ditching them in a few months for some fancy dance school, right?”

“You’re being so full of it right now, Meg. Just leave us alone, okay? We’ll just stay here and you don’t need to worry about anything,” Miles replied, starting to sound more tired than angry.

Veronica pushed her way in, “Yeah, leave us the  _ fuck _ alone. If you even think about coming up to any of us I’ll beat the shit out of you.”

“I’m quaking in my stilettos,” Megan deadpanned, “Right, whatever. Nice seeing you, Julie.”

With that, Megan turned around and shut the door. No one said anything for what felt like hours, and it was starting to make Juliet try to hide in Miles’s arms for just a little bit longer.

Chris laughed a bit, “So um… that happened. How about we start with this whole Christmas presents-opening thing?”

“Actually, I’m wondering what that ‘fancy dance school’ thing was all about, Miles? Care to explain?” Veronica asked, pushing some of her dark hair from her face.

Miles gave a nervous laugh, “Well, you guys know how I was in New York for Christmas? I kinda auditioned for Julliard…”

“What?! That’s amazing, I’m so proud of you!” Juliet exclaimed, squeezing him tightly.

Miles shook his head, “It’s no biggie, I probably won’t hear back from them or anything. I just thought that I may as well look into it. A kind of… see how much I can do type of thing?”

“You’re getting in. No question about it. Just saying. And you definitely wouldn’t be ditching us. You get the chance to go there, then you have to take it,” Veronica insisted, crossing her arms, “Now, on a lighter note, I got you guys all presents.”

“Same, I mean, that’s what that big bag’s supposed to have. I got you all some stuff. I hope you like it, but I also haven’t known you guys for very long so I did my best,” Juliet warned.

Veronica rolled her eyes, “You probably did great. And if you didn’t, we would tell you that you did great anyways.”

“Assuring,” Juliet remarked as she got up to grab the presents, handing them to everyone.

Chris grinned, “I like just about anything, so I feel like I would be a pretty easy person to appeal to, honestly.”

Eventually they were all opening presents that they had been holding off on giving to each other since they got them. They all seemed to have forgotten about everything Megan had tried to start earlier. It was so easy to forget about everything when it was just the four of them getting together and just talking.

“Okay, this was brilliant, Jules, how did you even think to get me this?” Miles asked, looking up from the box that the present had been wrapped in.

Juliet shook her head, “It was simple, you get stressed out a lot, or worried… so, I thought that you might want something that would help you be less stressed. And I mean, I figured getting you something soft and squishy would be nice.”

She received a ton of nice pens from Veronica who insisted that it was all only based off of something that Veronica wasn’t even sure Juliet liked doing. Except it was so obvious that Juliet was always writing something down.

It seemed Chris was always going to be the one most likely to take things in a different direction, and ended up getting her a book with different puns in it. Along with a sticky note in it that read ‘ _ Figured you needed to laugh a little bit more _ ’. If only he had a clue.

Miles gave Juliet an oversized maroon sweater. Right off the bat he admitted that he couldn’t make anything like that himself. That he found it while he was in New York, and he knew that Juliet got cold a lot and that she was definitely the type of person who like something that that.

“I just… I don’t know, it seems silly now. I just kinda saw it and thought of you… I mean, I thought about you a lot, you’re great, but yeah. Sorry, words aren’t that easy for me,” Miles admitted, his cheeks starting to turn a bright red.

Juliet laughed a little, kissing him on the cheek, “It’s perfect, trust me.”

Despite having told Megan that they were going to stay in one room the whole time, they had to get food at some point. Though it was almost more of an adventure to see who could get by her room the quietest and not cause Megan to snap at their group.

It went pretty well, though Juliet could have sworn that she heard the door open right after everyone left and went down to the kitchen. Though, she wasn’t about to question it. Instead, Juliet got distracted by Chris claiming how he definitely knew how to make the perfect lasagna.

“Oh come on, just lemme try it!” Chris exclaimed, pouting.

Miles shook his head, “Nope, you’d blow up my kitchen. Maybe next year.”

“Alright. I mean, that’s in, like, six hours? I can handle that. Who’s up for some early-morning pasta?” Chris asked, a smirk on his face.

Veronica shook her head, “Not I, I’m voting we stick with the frozen pizza and grab some of those fancy cider bottles and some wine glasses and pretend like we’re fancy adults.”

“ _ Boring _ ,” Chris retorted.

Eventually, they inevitably went with the frozen pizza since that was the one less likely to cause a kitchen disaster. Though, Chris did make a point to talk about how great a cook he could be if everyone would just let him try. However, it was less believable when he couldn’t bring himself to keep a straight face while speaking.

With food and drinks in hand, they all made it back to the room and decided that was where they were going to stay for the rest of the night. It seemed like the wisest decision, none of them wanting to piss off Megan even more.

However, when Juliet looked for her notebook, she felt like it was in a different place than where she had left it. Only, it was too close for her to feel like it was worth looking into.

The hours passed quickly with card games and them deciding to all watch different movies that had been thrown in a bookshelf that seemed like it was one of the few things out of order.

Chris and Veronica were excitedly counting down, and when it was finally midnight, Miles didn’t hesitate when it came to pressing his lips against Juliet’s. Even though it earned a chorus of boos from the other two, Juliet didn’t care.

They didn’t get to bed until around two, almost three, in the morning. Chris and Veronica took different areas of the floor while Juliet and Miles shared the bed. It was hard to go to sleep when Juliet couldn’t help finding it next to impossible to believe that she was still with Miles. They were already a tangled mess of limbs.

“I love you, you know that, right?” Miles asked.

Juliet could just barely make out his serious expression in the dark, “Yeah, um… you know I love you too, right? I mean, it’s really important to me that you know that.”

“Yep. I definitely know,” he said, pressing a kiss to her forehead, “G’night, Jules. I love you so, so much.”


	17. Chapter Seventeen: Cold Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The climax begins

The first day back from winter break was always the strangest. On one hand, Juliet knew that she had been in school for far longer than she had been on break. However, she also had a hard time believing that after staying over with Miles one night she was just going to go back to school.

It was a regular day, well, as regular as a first day of the second semester for school could be for anyone. Juliet sat, listening as Chris and Veronica were debating over something. She scrolled through her phone, occasionally looking around for Miles who would probably be right next to her in any minute.

That was when she saw it.

Megan was watching Juliet and it was so obvious. Juliet could feel her eyes staring. It made Juliet feel like her skin was crawling. There had to be some reason Megan was staring so intensely, or maybe it was just intimidation.

Juliet tried to just tell herself that it was just Megan being Megan. It wasn’t like that was anything unusual by any means. With Veronica and Chris around, Juliet knew that Megan wasn’t going to do anything. It was just all getting in her head and that was all. She had nothing to worry about.

“Hey, you’re Juliet, right?” asked some girl that Juliet had seen in a few of her classes.

Juliet nodded slowly, “Yeah, why?”

“Oh, no real reason… just, it was brave of you to publish your personal life like you did. You know, all those metaphors that you had,” she started.

Juliet shook her head, “Wait wait wait, what? I didn’t publish anything.”

“Oh, sorry, not publish, but you know how you posted-”

“I didn’t post anything. I didn’t do anything,” Juliet said slowly, frowning.

The girl shrugged, “It said that it was your journal and it looked like your handwriting and your insta account.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t post anything…” Juliet trailed off, trying to think about what was going on.

The girl walked away, seeming to not believe what Juliet was saying. Though, it did pique Juliet’s concern and she refreshed her phone, but there just wasn’t enough service.

“Hey, did you guys hear that?” Juliet asked.

Veronica nodded, “Yep, um… I’m not sure if I wanna be the one to show you this, but you should see this.”

Juliet reached to get Veronica’s phone, and suddenly it felt like the room went cold and silent. There were several photos that were all of Juliet’s journal. It was her handwriting and the pens that she used. She recognized the words as hers, but she knew that she hadn’t posted anything.

“What’s going on?” Chris asked, looking between the two others.

Veronica shook her head, “I reported the post… I didn’t know what it was, but it looked like yours and then I saw who posted it, and it’s, like… just a letter off from your regular username. I’m so sorry, Juliet.”

“I-it’s fine… I um… I think I’m gonna stay home sick or something,” Juliet said, starting to call her father.

The only problem was that Juliet doubted that he would let her go home early unless she was either puking her guts out or bleeding to death. Still, maybe he would make an exception. Just this once. That was all Juliet needed.

Except, when she looked back at the screen, she saw the one page that almost hurt the most to read.

_ No one realized my state. Or that my powers were growing at an out of control rate. I wish that I had realized that on my own. However, I feel that even if I had known what was happening that i wouldn’t have done anything about it in the first place.  _

_ After time and time again, ritual after ritual, I didn’t bring back my mother. No one saw the tears I shed or the nights I stayed up until the early hours of the morning. No one ever seemed to care. Is it bad to blame them? If someone had caught on earlier… perhaps I could have stopped myself. _

_ The only way I could bring her closer was by releasing the pain. Something my father never taught me how to do. My mother left before she could teach me. So I did the only thing I could think of. I would bleed and I would let myself hurt for hours. No one noticed. Still, no one notices the remnants of those days and I choose to not speak of them.  _

_ If no one ever knew, then I clearly never did anything in the first place. _

_ It wasn’t until one day that I found the perfect way to bring myself to my mother for good. It was everything I had been looking for. I wouldn’t be in pain, no one would yell at me. I wouldn’t be treading around my own house with my father, just barely keeping back everything that I was feeling. _

_ I concocted the perfect potion out of things simply lying around the house. I stayed in my room and my father thought nothing of it. Megan had left the kingdom and she insisted that she was only to go with family. I was all alone. It was the most ideal time. _

_ There was nothing but pain and without my mother, I had no one to turn to. No one would have cared at the time, and I feel that people would only chastise me now. It hurts to think that, but I know it to be the truth. _

_ So I made the potion and I had a letter written. Well, there were two. One for my father and the other for Megan. _

_ I told them that I was okay and that I would finally get the answers to the questions to everything that I had always wondered. It was perfect and I would never have to hurt again. _

_ And yes, I did drink the potion, and if it hadn’t been near dinner and if it hadn’t been for my father’s quick thinking, I would likely be dead. _

_ He attempted to have everything handled discreetly. Purging me of the poison I filled my body with. Yet, all he could do was demand why I had done it. _

_ Honestly, I am still unsure. I wish I knew. _

If she was going to do anything, it would have to be discreet. There was no secrecy in leaving school before it even started. Though, she did feel her stomach gnawing at itself. The world still felt like it was silent, but spinning out of control all the same. She had to stay.

She saw a text from Miles, saying that he wasn’t going to be there. Somehow between yesterday and right then, he’d gotten sick.

“Actually, I think I’ll go ahead and stay,” Juliet said quietly.

Veronica shook her head, “Are you fucking insane? Just take the day off.”

“My father… he can’t know that any of this happened. It was all supposed to be secret,” Juliet replied, pushing her dark hair back.

Chris frowned, “But you need to focus on what you can handle.”

“And I can handle this,” Juliet said, sighing, “I think I know who did this, okay? And I’m not going to give her that satisfaction.”

Veronica rolled her eyes, “Are you saying Megan did this? Why would she… actually don’t answer that, how?! If she did this, she’s gonna have more to worry about than you crying about all this shit.”

“Later… I-I just need to get through today,” Juliet said, trying to take deep breaths.

Across the cafeteria, Megan was silently observing until she felt her phone going off on the table and she picked it up.

“Meg… what the fuck did you do?” Miles asked.

“Um… I didn’t do anything, the hell are you on? You’re supposed to be home sick with food poisoning,” Megan said, “Anyways, what’s up?”  
Miles paused, “You know damn well what’s up. Why did you post Juliet’s journal like that? You didn’t think that I wouldn’t see that, did you?”

“Well, you see, you can’t prove that I did it. Can you? And besides, she’s always writing stuff, figured she wanted to get her big break sooner rather than later,” Megan replied with a nonchalant shrug.

Miles sighed, “That’s not how this works. You don’t just to get do that sort of thing to her. Shit, did you know about any of that stuff?”

“No, but it’s clear she’s just super depressing. Come on, there’s no way it’s actually true.”

“Megan! Get it through your head! What you did is fucking awful,” Miles snapped.

Megan laughed, “She’s doing just fine. Come on, it’s just a petty game. It’s her move now.”

“No, it’s not a game. You don’t get it, do you? If you read that right, she tried to kill herself. You just told everyone that she knows that she tried to do that,” Miles explained, “But you wouldn’t get that, would you?”

Megan rolled her eyes, “Right, whatever. I’m gonna get to class. Have fun, Miles.”

The day kept going, as days tend to do. Yet, Juliet couldn’t help noticing the looks people kept giving her. Occasionally someone would come up to her or try to talk with her, but it was mainly people just giving her the most pitiful looks tat Juliet had ever seen.

Maybe if she could just get through another class, or just ignore it, everyone would drop it. Yet, she could still hear people whispering about it. It was like they were trying to be just loud enough to be heard by her. Juliet could feel her skin crawl every single time someone looked at her, and it felt like it was going to melt off every time Megan looked at her.

Juliet knew that it was Megan who did it. It had to be her. There was no way Miles would do something like that. Veronica and Chris were too nice and they had no reason to hurt her. Hell, they probably had no idea how much it would hurt. Megan wanted to hurt her. She knew that.

The smart decision was to act like it didn’t bother her. But if it didn’t bother her so much, then why was she constantly checking her surroundings?

Even when there wasn’t anyone, she could have sworn that there was someone right behind her. There was no way anything was going to fix itself. Her entire journal was out on the internet. People kept reposting it and either treating it like she was either a great writer or that she was just some depressing emo kid.

It was supposed to be private.

Still, somehow it didn’t matter. Some people still approached her and asked her about it. Juliet still hadn’t figured out what to say. Though Chris or Veronica would yell at the person to leave her alone. They didn’t treat her any differently, but she could also tell that Veronica would give Chris a death glare when he looked like he was about to ask a question that was just a little bit too personal.

Everyone seemed to act like they were entitled to knowing what was going on in her thoughts. And she thought that when she got picked up by her father that things would get easier.

“Why did you not tell me?” he asked when she got in the car.

Juliet frowned, “Tell you what?”

“Do  _ not _ play dumb with me. Your journal. Everyone knows! I was told about it at work,” he replied, shaking his head, “You brought shame to us.”

Juliet opened her mouth, but closed it when he started speaking again.

“I agreed to therapy. I agreed to everything, but now that you start telling everyone, I cannot allow you to do this to us. You give too much privacy up,” he added, sighing, “Do you think of what your mother would say?”

Juliet felt tears in her eyes, shaking her head. She needed to just keep her mouth shut for a moment. A few more minutes and she would be home. Then she could try to collect herself for once that day. Just a few more minutes.

Yet he kept pressing, “Do you think of what she would want? Do you have any sense of shame?!”

“I didn’t post it! Okay? I-I didn’t want that everywhere, but now it is… a-and maybe instead of trying to shame me for all of the shit I’ve been put through, you should try to be helpful.  _ Me _ would have never wanted me to feel this way. D-don’t you have any shame for letting me get that far?!” Juliet exclaimed.

There was a long silence. Juliet didn’t dare to look at her father. They didn’t yell at each other. Yelling wasn’t in either of their vocabularies. It was better to keep her mouth shut. Yet, he had pushed so much and Juliet could barely get herself to blink back her tears.

Instead, they fell silently down her face, and she couldn’t bring them to stop. Nothing was said for the rest of the drive.

“Go to your room. I need you to think on what happened,” he said to her.

Going to her room was almost the exact same mistake as before. She looked at her phone that was blown up with texts from Miles, but she couldn’t bring herself to look at them. It was probably just him being angry at her for lying for so long. She couldn’t blame him if he was angry.

It didn’t matter what she tried to do, nothing was stopping the constant stream of tears that fell from her eyes. She could barely breathe, and when she looked in the mirror to see her reflection, what she saw was a flushed mess.

And maybe, just maybe, she was overreacting. Things had just been going so well. And yet, Juliet kept looking at the drawer that had an economy-sized bottle of painkillers that she would use whenever her period cramps got to being too bad. She also couldn’t keep her eyes off of an old notebook either.

* * *

 

“Look, she literally didn’t cry or scream or anything. It’s gonna blow over, okay?” Megan said for what was the fifth time since she had gotten home.

Miles shook his head, “Something’s wrong. Okay? She hasn’t texted me all day-”

“And maybe you should focus on getting better. Look, it was just some light revenge or whatever. She’s all yours,” Megan replied, putting her hands up.

He scoffed, “Juliet’s not a piece of property. She’s her own person, Meg. Maybe you should’ve noticed that sooner.”

Miles couldn’t bring himself to listen to another word that Megan had to say, and he went back to his room. The thought of not knowing what was going on only mixed in with the sense of nausea that kept going through him ever since dinner the night before.

That was when he heard his phone going off and he almost jumped on it. He saw Juliet’s name and he couldn’t have swiped fast enough.

“Jules, are you okay? I heard about what happened, you didn’t say anything. I get it if you don’t wanna talk about it, but I just… I need to know you’re okay,” Miles rambled.

“I um… yeah, i-it’s… it’s fine. I just um… I-I wanted to tell you that… um… that you were the best boyfriend I ever had-”

“I-I’m the only boyfriend you’ve ever had. What’s going on?” Miles asked, feeling his heart starting to beat faster.

Juliet stayed silent for a moment, “N-nothing, just um… just thought I-I’d tell you. You know? I-I mean, I’m um… sorry.”

“Jules… what’re you sorry for?” he questioned, biting his lip.

Juliet took a deep breath, “F-for everything, lying… not telling you everything.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.”

“You sound like you’re crying.”

“I’m fine. D-don’t worry about me, okay?”

“Jules, what’s going on?”

“Nothing… I um… I gotta go. I-in case I don’t get a chance to tell you tonight, um… I-I love you.”

The phone clicked off before Miles could say anything else, but his bright blue eyes were wide and he just about ran out of his room.

“Megan, I swear, I’m gonna fucking kill you,” Miles said lowly, shaking his head.

Megan huffed, “What now?”

“I-if… I’m right about what’s happening… I hope that I’m not, but if I am… I’ll be right back,” he said, running out into the garage to get into his car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, that just happened. Any thoughts????


	18. Chapter Eighteen: Right on Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn what happened.

Miles drove so quickly that it was a miracle that he didn’t get pulled over and that he didn’t wreck. It was impossible for him to clear his mind. All he could think about was getting to Juliet’s house. His hands shook so much that he could barely keep the car straight, and he could barely see as it was with tears filling his eyes.

There hadn’t been enough time to tell Megan what he thought was going on, but he was positive that she wouldn’t have cared in the first place. She wasn’t the type to worry. If anything, he figured that she would say he was being paranoid.

He hoped that he was. Except, the way she was talking and the way it was obvious she was in tears, Miles knew that he needed to make sure he was wrong.

He hoped he was wrong.

Still, Miles couldn’t shake the sinking feeling in his chest, and after what felt like hours, he made it to the house. He leapt out of the car and ran up to the door, knocking like a madman.

Eventually, Juliet’s father answered, “Hello, can I help you?”

“Where’s Juliet? I-I mean, have you seen her? I-I need to talk to her. You need to check on her,” Miles stammered.

How was he supposed to tell her father?

Vinh shook his head, “I took her home, she went to her room. Is this about the post?”

“Yes, no, um… I’m not sure, that’s not important, you need to check on her, Sir.”

“She is fine.”

“I don’t believe that. You said you haven’t seen her, I  _ need  _ to see her, now,” Miles insisted, starting to walk into the house.

“No, you need more respect for how I choose to raise my daughter.”

“You’re not going to be raising a daughter if we keep arguing. We don’t have time for this!” he exclaimed, pushing through and sprinting to Juliet’s room.

First, Miles knocked, hoping that he would hear Juliet say something or that she would open the door. And that she would just tell him she was having a rough time. Or, better yet, that it was a sick joke. He wanted it to be a joke. It needed to be a joke.

It needed to be anything that meant that this wasn’t actually happening.

Then, he knocked again, more frantically, but he knew that there wasn’t any use. If she hadn’t answered already he needed to just open the door.

But he knew what he was going to see and he didn’t want to see it.

Taking a deep breath, Miles opened the door to see Juliet passed out on the bed. He ran to her, checking her pulse. It was slow, and he could just barely hear her breathing. Right then, he heard someone else walk into the room.

“Um… she called me a few minutes ago to say goodbye, and I knew what happened earlier today… I just, I wasn’t sure a-and I-I’m sorry, I just… I-I didn’t wanna waste time-”

“Can you pick her up?” asked her father.

Miles nodded, not saying anything. He just picked her up, and he wanted her to just wake up. To say something, to do something. Instead, he followed Vinh to his car and stayed in the back.

And while Miles felt he had been driving like crazy, it was nothing compared to Vinh. Then again, now it was a matter of getting actual help in time. If only he’d been a bit faster, maybe if he’d been a bit more forceful. No, if he’d been there. He hadn’t even been  _ that _ sick, he should have gone and made sure she was okay. There was so much he should have done.

He wasn’t there and he should have been.

All he could do was make sure that Juliet kept breathing, but even that was easier said than done. What was he supposed to say? Who was he supposed to tell? Was he even supposed to tell anyone?

Veronica and Chris needed to know. He wasn’t angry with them. What happened wasn’t their fault. Who he felt really needed to know was Megan.

How could she have done that? What made her think that was okay?

“Come on, we must move quickly!” Vinh barked.

Miles nodded and got out of the car, rushing into what he was realizing was the ER. Everything was passing by like a blur. There had to be something he could do. It would turn out fine if she would just make it through this.

If he read the post right, Miles then knew that she had done this before. Maybe if she made it through then, she could do the same thing now.

Suddenly, Miles felt someone taking Juliet from his arms. Seeing her limp like that made him feel like the room was spinning. He sat in one of the chairs with his head in his hands. It was all out of his hands, and he knew that there was no way he could blame himself for what happened. Deep down, Miles knew that he had done everything that he could have. He still wished that he had been wrong in the first place. That it had all been a misunderstanding and that instead he would have been trying to win back her father’s favor for pushing him out of the way.

Instead, Miles saw the other man sit next to him in the waiting area. Neither of them bothered to say anything. Miles couldn’t think of anything to say. If he hadn’t been paying attention, then Juliet probably would have died.

Had this really happened before?

“They are not sure if she is going to be alright, you see, they have to pump her stomach. I am not sure when she took everything,” Vinh said, breaking the silence.

Miles nodded slowly, “If it’s early enough… will she um… is she gonna be okay?”

“Yes. If it is early, she should be fine. At least, physically.”

“I-I’m sorry if this is too personal, but did this happen before?” Miles asked, looking at Vinh,

He sighed, “During the summer. I thought things were relaxed. It turns out they were not.”

“A-and did she do the same thing?” Miles questioned.

“I’d let her tell you that. Um… I must go call her psychiatrist,” Vinh responded, getting up to leave.

Whether or not he was supposed to, Miles started to not care. There was no way he could just keep this happening to himself. How Juliet had kept it so secret was a mystery to him. Then again, the only person who would have known was Megan, and he knew that she clearly didn’t care.

He would have to tell her later.

Miles started with Veronica who was quick to pick up the phone.

“Shit, is it an extra rehearsal I forgot about?” she asked.

Miles sighed, “No um… can you come to the hospital?”

“What’s wrong? Miles? Why would I go to the hospital?” Veronica asked, “Miles?”

It took a few moments to try to compose himself, but even then he couldn’t, “I-it’s Jules, sh-she um… sh-she’ll hopefully be alright, b-but um-”

“Cut the shit. What happened?”

Miles choked out a sob, “Sh-she tried to kill herself.”

“What?!”

“I-I know… just… c-can you tell Chris?”

Veronica took a deep breath, “Y-yeah. And then we’ll be over there. Shit… okay, yeah. W-we’ll be there.”

As guilty as Miles felt for having someone else relay the news, he just couldn’t bring himself to admit that it was happening more than once. Maybe if he had been there he could have taken her to the pond or something. Sure, the benches would have been covered with snow and everything would have been frozen over, but that’s not anything a cup of hot chocolate from the diner or from the coffee shop couldn’t have fixed.

And maybe it was naive of him to think that something as simple as walking around with Juliet would have been enough. But it would have been better than what he had done. He hadn’t been there.

How in the world was Megan going to still sleep at night? Eventually she was going to have to find out what happened with Juliet. And perhaps it was wrong, but he wished that would be enough to get her to realize that the way she treated Juliet mattered. It didn’t just matter because he was dating her. It mattered because she was a person, and she was being hurt for no reason.

Waiting to hear back from Juliet’s father or from Chris or Veronica felt like forever. He just wished that someone would tell him what was happening. Then again, maybe the fact that no one was telling him anything meant that Juliet was fine. That they were just pumping her stomach and that she would be back soon enough. Then he could talk to her and figure out what happened.

When he finally saw Chris and Veronica, he stood up, hugging both of them tightly.

“ _ Quiero matar esta puta _ ,” Veronica muttered.

Chris shook his head, “Didn’t catch that.”

“She wants to kill my sister… which, so do I at this point. She… I can’t believe she did that and I can’t believe I wasn’t there,” Miles said, running a hand through his hair.

Chris frowned, “Hey, it’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known. I mean, we were there, and she seemed okay. Well, you know, as okay as someone who just had her diary leaked can be.”

“So she wasn’t okay. But we didn’t read it. We wanted to give her the privacy she would have wanted… and I guess maybe I should have looked over it, but-”

“No, Veronica, you’re right, it was better to keep her privacy. See, I um… I was confused, and I read it. She basically um… she’s done this before,” Miles explained.

Veronica nodded slowly, “Okay, but is she um…”

“We don’t know, but I think so. I-I mean, if she lived once, she can do it again, right? A-and then, I don’t know… we just… we need to be there for her,” he said, sitting down.

Chris sat next to Miles, “I’m not sure if this is too soon, but um… how come you were the first to find out?”

“She called to um… to… t-to say goodbye. And I knew there was something wrong, a-and I went to her house… when I got there, she was out cold,” Miles couldn’t stop himself from sobbing.

Veronica sat next to him and had an arm around him, “Okay, it’s okay, this wasn’t your fault. Actually, if it wasn’t for you, she’d probably be dead, Miles. You’re doing great, and you’re gonna be the reason she didn’t die.”

Even though Miles knew that everyone was right. That it had been his quick action and noticing everything, he also still couldn’t help feeling like he should have done something else. And he knew that there was no way he’d be able to fix all of Juliet’s problems, but he wished that he could do something to make them easier on her.

Hell, he didn’t even know half of it.

After sitting for some time, Miles felt like there would have to be an answer. Surely someone was going to come out and say what was happening.

Miles did see Juliet’s father step out with someone else and walk over to where the three teens were sitting. None of them checked the time, and none of them were planning on going to school the next day. Either that or they were going to be too distracted to focus on what was going on.

“What are you doing, telling others about what happened? Do you not realize my daughter has shamed-” Vinh was cut off.

“It’s good that they’re here. Hello, I’m Doctor Frank Johnson, you can call me Frank. I’m assuming you are all Juliet’s friends, correct?” the other man questioned.

Miles stood up, “Y-yeah, I’m her boyfriend, Miles, and these guys back here are Veronica and Chris.”

“So you’re all the friends she’s mentioned… see, I’m Juliet’s therapist. I don’t believe she’s mentioned me, but I need to ask some questions. You see, I need to gauge the situation,” Dr. Johnson explained.

Veronica shook her head, “What do you mean ‘gauge the situation?’”

“I need to know what happened and why this is happening.”

Miles frowned, “So… what gives you any right to ask us about her when we don’t even know if she’s still alive?”

“No one told you? She is well. At least, physically, she isn’t going to die. It’s thanks to your quick thinking that she’s still here. And I need to know what I need to improve on to help her recover. I am sure you each want to do the same,” Dr. Johnson replied.

Miles let out a sigh of relief, “Yeah, yeah, of course. I-I know some of the stuff we need to fix. At least, I think I do. Um… when can we see her?”

“Tomorrow, Juliet needs to rest for right now. Though, she needs a support system, so I’m going to need you three to be helpful so I know what needs to happen to fix this. Because I’m sure you know this has happened before, and I feel that we need a better solution than last time,” he said.

None of them were quite sure what was going to happen, but Miles knew that they did need to do something. He had no clue how he could help to make things better, and he knew that he couldn’t solve anything, but he wanted to try to.

“Okay, ask what you need to,” Miles responded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise that things are going to get better! As always, I love hearing from you guys!!!!!


	19. Chapter Nineteen: Coping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juliet wakes up.

All Juliet could remember was hanging up on Miles as everything started to get blurry. How much had she taken? It was impossible to tell if it was enough or not. Still, she didn’t want to pass out while on the phone with him, and she couldn’t just leave without saying goodbye. So she hoped that it wasn’t too suspicious, but between the colors of her room swirling together and the dizziness that she felt, she had passed out before she could think it through.

When she started to regain consciousness, she felt like she knew exactly where she was. Her eyelids fluttered open and she felt the fluorescent light hurt her eyes. It was obvious that she was still alive. Oddly enough, it almost felt like a relief.

Though, Juliet still had several questions running through her mind. Who had found her? What was everyone going to end up saying? Could she keep things secret this time?

The last one was a dumb question. Even when she had been keeping things secret, she couldn’t manage it.

She laid in the hospital bed, hoping no one was about to walk in. It was only a matter of time before someone came in to talk to her, and she knew that. The thing to wonder was if it was going to be someone like Dr. Johnson or her father. Maybe, it was easily the hardest maybe to ever cross her mind, it would be Veronica or Chris or Miles. Someone she wouldn’t mind seeing. The people she needed to apologize to.

Things had just gotten too far out of hand and she didn’t know what to do.

There hadn’t been anyone who noticed how she was feeling. In all fairness, she hadn’t said anything about it. But no one asked if she was okay after everything either. Hell, when she saw her father, the first thing he did was scold her. How was that okay?

But how was reacting to that by swallowing a bottle full of pills okay either?

Maybe it would have been easier if it had just worked that time. Then she wouldn’t have to deal with all the aftermath. It was almost like the politics behind being suicidal made the situation worse. She still needed to go to school, and she still needed to face Megan. She still needed to talk to her friends and she still needed to deal with her father.

Juliet heard footsteps and she sat up, seeing both her father and Dr. Johnson. What was she supposed to say? Her throat ached and she wasn’t sure how talking would even feel in the first place. How had they gotten the painkillers out of her system? She wasn’t sure if she wanted to know or not.

“It’s good to see you’re awake,” Dr. Johnson greeted.

Juliet gave a small smile in response. She didn’t really want to be awake. Maybe she didn’t want to be dead, but even that was almost pushing it. If she had just pretended she was asleep, she probably could have avoided the issue entirely.

Her father shook his head, “I cannot believe you did this again. I thought you were through this phase.”

Juliet pursed her lips, not saying anything. What was she supposed to say? There wasn’t anything that she could get herself to say, and she knew that much was true.

“That’s no way to talk to someone in her situation, Mr. Phan, your daughter almost died,” Dr. Johnson snapped.

Vinh shook his head again, “Does not matter. She clearly no longer cares about anything here, so what does it matter? All she is doing is bringing shame and not working to fix anything. She’s grown lazy in her treatments.”

“Don’t you dare say anything like that about a mentally ill patient. Would you tell someone with cancer that a growing tumor happened because they were lazy?” Dr. Johnson asked incredulously.

Vinh scoffed, “You think you know my daughter better than I do?”

“That wasn’t the intention, but you should be making this point in time easier for her, not harder-”

“Can you both shut up?!” Juliet exclaimed, tears brimming her eyes, “I get it, I just tried to kill myself, okay? I know what the hell I did. I don’t need you two arguing about me like I’m not here. Maybe you two should leave.”

“That is no way to talk to your-”

Dr. Johnson cut off Vinh, “She’s right. We’re adding unneeded stress to an already difficult situation.”

“Wait… can I see my friends? I mean, are they here?” Juliet asked, swallowing hard.

Dr. Johnson sighed, “Visiting hours are closed I’m afraid.”

“Then what’re you two doing here? Because you’ve done nothing to help me at all. I don’t wanna wait to see people I actually think I care about,” she replied, her eyes darting between both of them.

Vinh opened his mouth to say something, but instead turned to leave.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Dr. Johnson relented, turning to walk out as well before pausing, “But we will have to talk about this tomorrow. You remember how things went before, it should be like that.”

It was pretty difficult remembering how she had to stay overnight for observation. A combination of making sure that there weren’t complications after what overdosing and needing to keep her for a psychological evaluation. Nothing that would happen would end up surprising her. It was the same thing that happened during the summer.

She could remember that time almost too clearly. No one was around her that summer. It was just her and her thoughts. Things turned dark almost too easily and too quickly with ordinary life and the death of her mother seemed to mix together too much. And then Megan didn’t need her for anything, so there wasn’t anyone she was even talking to at the time.

At the time, it was impossible to  _ not _ feel like she was all alone.

Her father hadn’t reacted to it well at that time either. Why had she expected anything better? What if the people she trusted to not go crazy on her ended up acting like him? Except they wouldn’t, she knew them too well.

If Dr. Johnson was going to try to do anything, that meant they were there in the first place. How or why they were there, she had no idea. That was something to ask if they actually got the chance to come in. It wasn’t like she was in a critical state. Well, physically she wasn’t. Whatever they did, most likely pumping her stomach, seemed to work well enough. Except for the sore throat that she still had.

After what felt like almost too long, she heard multiple footsteps in the hallway, “You can’t stay for too long. She has to rest, but it’s likely you’ll all do a better job than anyone else could.”

That had to be Dr. Johnson speaking. Juliet would recognize the guy’s voice almost anywhere. Which had to mean Chris, Veronica, and Miles weren’t too far behind.

Juliet was right and almost seconds later she saw them walk in. None of them looked like they were in the best state of mind either, but Miles had to be the worse off. His eyes were still puffy and red. It didn’t take much to know that he had been crying.

Still, his first instinct was to rush up to Juliet, hugging her tightly. It was an awkward position, but he still held her tightly. She hugged him back.

How could she have called him like that?

“You scared the shit out of me. You know that, right?” Miles asked, staring at her.

Juliet nodded, “I-I know… I’m sorry, to all of you. I-I should’ve-”

“Now you stop right there. Look, I don’t wanna see you kill yourself, but you don’t need to apologize to anyone. You wouldn’t do that over nothing. What you did hurt, but it hurt you the most and now we need to focus on helping you get better,” Veronica responded.

Miles stopped hugging Juliet, but he still held her hand, “She’s right… you’re just… you’re just sick right now. A-and we just need to be there for you. I mean, I know I’m not a doctor or anything like that, but I know you need help.”

“Help I’ve been getting this whole time.”

“Yeah, and you had that help publicized all over the school. Look, we didn’t think to read it over so we didn’t put anything together, but that’s the sort of thing that hurts you,” Chris said, frowning.

Juliet looked down, “But I shouldn’t have-”

“No, don’t you start blaming yourself when we all know damn well who triggered this. You have to tell someone what Megan did. It’s not right,” Veronica insisted.

Miles nodded, “Yeah, she’s right… Megan didn’t even know what she was doing, and she needs to figure something out from all this.”

“Hey, it’s sweet that you guys want to help. A-and I need that sort of help, and it’s more than I thought I’d ever have, but I don’t want to have anything to do with Megan. I don’t want to take her to court or sue her for this. I just want her to leave me alone,” Juliet explained, “I’m not feeling like making this into a huge deal. I don’t do that sort of thing.”

“And you don’t have to make a huge deal about it,” Chris pointed out.

Miles sighed, “But Megan would. That’s the problem… but I don’t want her thinking she can get away with hurting with you like that.”

“I took those pills. Megan didn’t force me to do anything. I chose to take the pills before and I did the exact same thing today. It was probably gonna happen regardless of whether or not she did something,” Juliet said, running a hand through her hair.

Miles frowned, “But that’s not right either. And you know what? She just ignored anything the pointed to you having any problems. Maybe she didn’t make you do anything. And, sure, you have other issues, but she did nothing to help.”

“I’m not doing anything to make things worse for Megan. Okay? I don’t want a part two of this. I just… I don’t even know what I wanna do.”

“But you don’t need a part two to this. If things happen right-”

Juliet cut Veronica off, “I’m not going to do anything. I  _ want _ to get better. At least, I think I do? I’m not sure. Just… I need to be able to even face everyone at school before I can think about anything else.”

“We can start there, Jules. People aren’t as big of fans of what happened as you think. It’s starting to become obvious you didn’t post it yourself,” Miles sighed, “The point is, people know this wasn’t on you.”

“I don’t want attention for this, though. That’s the thing. I just want to move on from this,” she insisted, “Can we just try to not make a huge deal out of it? I’m already getting an earful from my father.”

Veronica nodded, “Yeah, yeah we can all do that. Just know we don’t wanna see this happen again and that it’s actually terrifying.”

“I know… I just, need you guys to kinda be there. Not to do anything super different, but like, just stay my friends,” Juliet explained.

“That’s always been the plan,” Chis claimed, giving a small smile.

Things weren’t going to be perfect. Juliet knew that, but having her friends there helped a little. And she knew there was something Miles wasn’t mentioning, but she wasn’t going to push it. Mostly because she was almost positive that she knew why he wasn’t talking about it. Still, it was easy to not think about it when he just looked at her like it was a relief to just see her alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was a short chapter. I've been super stressed and literally wrote this chapter in an hour because I'm trying to keep things together, but it's not going well.


	20. Chapter Twenty: What Happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally address the elephant in the room.

Taking a few days off of school was the last thing Juliet wanted to do, but she also knew that it wasn’t optional. She had to stay for observation and for a psychological evaluation. Everything seemed to pass by quickly the first time. Maybe it was because she didn’t have any reason to be anxious about other people noticing what she had done at the time.

Nothing but questions kept going through Juliet’s head as she glanced up at the clock in her hospital room. There was still a lot of time to kill before school got out, and she kept wondering what was going to happen. Some doctors had already asked about what had happened. Her overall mental health, what had made her so suddenly decide to try to kill herself. Juliet knew why they asked the questions, and she understood that they wanted to help, that was nice, but some of the questions were almost impossible for her to answer.

Why did she take all those pills? Well, they were the closest thing at the time, obviously. No, she knew they meant why she had done it in the first place, and she wasn’t sure. It was as though there were so many reasons, but also absolutely not good reasons at the same time, and she didn’t know what to do with herself.

She still hadn’t seen her father since he blew up on her, and Dr. Johnson hadn’t been around very much either. It was almost the same as the first time. Despite going through treatment before, she had no clue when anything was going to happen.

It was all a waiting game. A waiting game she had no control over.

Finally, after half of the day, Dr. Johnson came into the room, “Can I talk to you?”

“Are you going to ask me more questions?” Juliet asked, “Sorry, that wasn’t supposed to come off as mean, just… I don’t know what I’m supposed to say. And no one’s accepting ‘I don’t know’ as an answer, but I really feel like I don’t know.”

Dr. Johnson offered a smile, “I don’t think I’ll be asking any open-ended questions right now. All you need is to tell me if I’m right or not.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I was talking to your boyfriend, Miles, and he thinks that he knows what happened,” Dr. Johnson explained, “He says that he thinks a lot of it has to do with his sister, Megan. That she harassed you and that she was the one who posted your journal on social media.”

Juliet sighed, “Yeah, that’s true, she did… I mean, there’s not exact proof, but it’s kind of obvious at this point. Except, he doesn’t get that I don’t want to have her involved. I just want to pick everything up and move on.”

“Well, the thing is, is that what she did was cyberbullying. It was harassment that harmed your life emotionally and is arguably the main reason you’re here right now.”

“Okay, maybe the post is the main reason, but it’s not that it was publicized. It’s that everyone knew it was me. And that everyone kept looking at me. And trust me, I know it’s the twenty-first century and that people are more accepting. The problem is that everyone pitied me. A-and I just don’t think I could take that on my own… it felt like I was alone,” she started, “A-and I don’t like saying that because I think it completely writes off you and Miles and Veronica and Chris and anyone who’s made me feel better about myself. But I didn’t have anyone trying to stop me at the time either.”

Dr. Johnson nodded, “That makes sense, though. What you have is a mental illness. Your brain is sick, and obviously having people be there for you is nice, but that won’t stop you from how your mind ends up reacting to situations. Getting a hug won’t cure cancer, but it’s a nice thing to have. You’re sickness doesn’t mean that you don’t care. It means that you need treatment.”

“Okay, but we’ve been doing this whole talking and writing thing for therapy for months. And here I am, and I know it’s definitely not your fault. But what’s to say doing the same thing again is gonna make any difference?”

“Medication is an option, but the issue is having your father agree. We will likely have to wait until you turn eighteen before trying to get away with that.”

“That’s great, but it hasn’t been a year and I’ve tried to kill myself twice already. How many more times does that have to happen?”

“Well, you see, medication is not always the solution. While it is worth looking into, it takes a long time to figure out what works and at how much of a dosage. So it would end up being beneficial for you to have more strategies to cope,” Dr. Johnson explained.

“Great, fucking, fantastic. I-I just want to _not_ feel like killing myself or like everything is going completely out of control for no reason. And now I guess I just can’t do that. Lovely.”

Dr. Johnson frowned, “You know, you can help yourself. It’s a matter of getting you the right resources which is what we need to focus on for right now.”

It was the truth and Juliet knew it. She needed to get herself to stop feeling so bitter, but it was hard to stay positive when she simply couldn’t see a point in trying the same thing over and over again. Except, Juliet also knew that writing _had_ been working. The thing was that it would have continued to work as long as she could have just kept it private.

All she wanted was to keep all of her issues to herself. To not make a huge deal out of it. She didn’t want to sound like she wanted attention. The situation was quite the opposite in reality.

At the same time, Juliet couldn’t wait for someone to visit her who wasn’t Dr. Johnson or her father, who she still hadn’t seen all that day. Though, her father was a completely different situation. Maybe he was the one who needed therapy the most.

But she would probably never get the courage to say something like that.

_January 4th_

_I have been caught… again. This time it was a little bit more public. Which wasn’t exactly ideal, obviously. My father lost it, and I’ve yet to hear from him at all. That part bothers me more than I care to say. Why he can’t understand that all of this is a part of me, I’m unsure. Maybe it has something to deal with the fact that he can’t handle the thought of losing someone else._

_Either way, it does not change the fact that I haven’t seen him. But I have seen Frank. He seems concerned, and I can’t blame him. After trying necromancy yet again, anyone has the right to be concerned about me._

_And the thing is, most of this would have been avoided if the princess had just kept to herself. If she had just left me alone. I never hurt her and I can’t understand why she felt like what she did was justifiable._

Juliet stared at the page, clicking the pen that she had in her hand. The only reason that she had the pen and paper in the first place was because of how she had done on her evaluation so far. In truth, she was only where she was because Dr. Johnson wanted to be sure that everything had been covered. Plus, this was supposed to be part of her treatment still.

The only problem was that she needed to figure out how to explain what had happened.

_When Megan is angry, she becomes something completely vicious. Her anger completely overtakes her, and this does not justify her actions by any means. In fact, it puts me into an even worse position as a consequence. Because she cannot control her anger, she ends up turning into a terrible dragon._

_While it would be easy to argue that she has no ability to control herself in that form, I would argue that she knows exactly what she’s doing. Which is precisely why I ended up trapped in the cavern which I currently reside in. She drove me here, flaming breath and all._

_The only saving grace is that my allies have not abandoned me despite me not being completely candid when it came to my magic. I still have not completely explained myself, and I do regret that above everything else. Nevertheless, I cannot change the past, but I can control what I end up saying later. Only, I’ve yet to figure out what it is that I’m going to say in the first place._

_The princess still seems to believe she hasn’t done anything horrendous. Obviously I would beg to differ, but now is not the time for a fight. Not when I know all too well that it is a fight which I will most certainly lose._

_Still, I await the others in hopes of their guidance._

No matter how long Juliet stared at the page and wrote for, it still felt like nothing good was coming out. Then again, she was never supposed to create a New York Times Bestseller to begin with. It was purely a way to cope and to sort things out. She needed to write to figure out what she would say to her friends.

More importantly to Miles. He was the one she was the most nervous to talk to. It didn’t take much detective work to figure out that Miles was the one who ended up saving her life. She wasn’t sure if he had been there or if he had just called her father, but either way, she couldn’t simply ignore the situation.

Still, that didn’t stop her from wishing the clock would move just a hair slower so she would have more time to think about what to say. Even better, maybe no one would come. But at the same time, Juliet didn’t know what she would do if she was just stuck with her only real visitor being her psychiatrist. That felt like it was more than a little bit depressing in and of itself.

She couldn’t remember when she had drifted off for a nap, but all she knew was that Miles sat in the chair that was in her hospital room. There was no way that he could have been there for very long.

“Hey.”

“Um.. hi, sorry, I-I didn’t think I was going to… um… yeah, sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry about that,” Miles said, looking over her.

There was still that look of relief in his crystal blue eyes and it only made her pulse quicken, “Okay… then what do I need to be sorry about?”

“Nothing. Y-you don’t need to apologize for a thing, Jules.”

“Then why do you keep looking at me like I came back from the dead or something?”

Miles sighed, “Well, you kind of did, didn’t you?”

“You could say that… look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I should’ve said something about all of this before and I know that, but I didn’t know how and I-I didn’t want you thinking about me differently. Just… things were going so well and I didn’t wanna ruin it.”

“You wouldn’t have ruined it. A-and things are fine. This is just… it’s just something we need to work through and we can do that, can’t we?”

Juliet frowned, “What did you see?”

“What do you mean?”

She swallowed hard, “When I tried to kill myself… did you find me?”

The way Miles’s eyes widened was just enough to tell her the truth. Juliet moved to get up, stretching out her arms. He had no trouble wrapping his arms around her, holding her tightly.

“I-I didn’t think you’d want to know.”

Juliet sighed, “That doesn’t matter. You need to talk to me about that sort of thing. A-and I need you to know that I’m here now, and I-I didn’t mean for things to turn out like that.”

“You couldn’t just call me like that and really think that I wouldn’t catch on, could you?” Miles asked, shaking his head, “That scared the shit out of me. I literally pushed your dad out of the way to get to you. And I don’t think he’ll say it, but he was pretty damn scared too. I-I don’t know if I’m allowed to say that, but you were so still… I didn’t think you were gonna make it.”

She hadn’t wanted to, but at the same time, his arms were so warm and she couldn’t stop herself from melting into him. Why had she called him? Now all he was going to think about was her passed out in her bedroom.

But if she hadn’t called him, no one would have looked for her. Then she would have been dead and she wouldn’t be in his arms. There was no good way for that situation to end.

“I should’ve said something earlier.”

“You should’ve said something when you were ready to,” Miles countered, “You weren’t ready, and Megan forced you out. I wish I’d been there, and I’m not gonna say that I could’ve made you feel totally better, but you wouldn’t have tried to kill yourself.”

She looked down, “I kept all that from you, though! That’s not right.”

“I never asked. And the point is that we’re talking about it now. Even then, you didn’t have to tell me you have awful mental health. I’ve seen you get kinda bad before, that’s not normal.”

“But here’s the thing, I’ve done this before.”

Miles nodded, “I know, you don’t have to explain this if you don’t want to, Jules. You’re not in a good place, I wanna help you.”

“Then let me explain,” Juliet said, her dark brown eyes staring into his blue ones.

 


	21. Epilogue: Six Months Later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the end, what more can I say?

Sighing, Juliet flopped onto her bed, looking around at her side of the dorm room she was in. Everything was unpacked and her father had driven off nor even five minutes before. College classes were going to start the next day, and she doubted that she was anywhere near ready for them. A part of her was still stuck in what had happened the previous night.

Except, she had to break up with Miles. If she hadn’t, she was positive that he would have refused to leave for Julliard. Juliet didn’t want to be the reason that he chose to not follow his dream. It wasn’t a bad breakup by any means, but that didn’t change the fact Juliet did miss him. After several months of dating, several great months, it was hard to believe it was over. Sure, it was for the best, but she almost wondered if a long distance relationship would have worked out. Maybe it was wishful thinking.

The door opened, Veronica walking in and sitting on the bed on her side of the room, “Hey, Miles told me what happened.”

“Yeah… do you think I screwed up?” Juliet asked, sitting up.

Veronica shook her head, “Not at all. The poor boy would’ve been so distracted that he wouldn’t get a thing done in New York.”

“Okay, I just… I feel bad.”

“Don’t, if you didn’t do it, then he was going to have to. And I think he was scared of doing that.”

Juliet nodded, “Alright, I’m trusting you here.”

“As you should. Have I ever steered you wrong before?” Veronica paused for a moment, “Actually don’t answer that. Anyways, you ready for classes tomorrow?”

She shook her head, “Not at all.”

“Me neither… hey, don’t beat yourself up over Miles. He’s gonna be fine and so are you. Who knows, maybe you guys will see each other in, like, five years and get back together.”

Juliet smiled at the thought, “Maybe… that’d be nice, wouldn’t it?”

“Very nice, I’d be right there planning the wedding and everything,” Veronica teased.

Eventually, Veronica went off to the library so she could try to get some of the summer readings that she had procrastinated done. Leaving Juliet alone with her thoughts. She reached for her phone and pulled up her messaging app, staring at Miles’s contact. Not thinking, she clicked on it and her fingers hovered over the keyboard. Juliet stared at the screen, but soon turned off her phone and set it down.

Juliet got up and walked to her drawers and opened one, pulling out her notebook and took a pen out of the cup she had sitting next to the window of her dorm room. Looking outside, she saw people running around campus. They were talking to each other in groups or getting their things to their dorm rooms. It was an intriguing sight to say the least. But Juliet wasn’t there to people watch. She had a story that she needed to finish.

_August 27th_

_I finally took my chance to leave the kingdom for something better. It has been a couple of months since I last wrote anything in here, but those were months well spent. I learned that there are people out there who genuinely care about me. That I didn’t need to serve some princess to make my life mean something._

_That’s not to say I am happy all the time, but life has been tolerable. Sometimes, it has been even better than tolerable. Miles, the prince, he was wonderful while he was in my life. However, he was meant for better things. All of us are. I wanted him to take his chance to leave with little consequence. The only way to do that was to let him go. I have not spoken to him since, and that is likely a wise choice, albeit, not an easy one._

_As for me, I am getting an education to do something that could potentially help people. I do not want to serve anyone else or be a handmaid, but I want to be helpful. It is something I will love, and that is more than enough for me._

_Now, the princess, she’s a very different story. After everything she did to me, well, nothing happened. I suppose I couldn’t expect anything more than that, but it is rather disappointing. On a brighter note, she left for her fancy education and I will more than likely never see her again. At least, if I am lucky I will not see her._

_Either way, my problems have not been solved on their own, and I do not expect them to. However, I haven’t had a need to think about necromancy for months now. It is a freeing feeling, and while things can blur together every now and then, it isn’t anything I can’t handle._

_Everything I encountered has shaped me, and I feel that I have learned how to properly use my powers. Not only for my benefit, but for the benefit of others as well. And, personally, I wouldn’t have it any other way._

After writing the last word, Juliet clicked her pen and closed the notebook. She looked at the beaten up and dog-eared cover of the notebook and put it back in the drawer. Not because she was planning on writing in it anymore, but in case she needed to read it.

Maybe what she had written down was not just a mindless rant of her coping, but a real story that would mean something more over time. Her phone vibrated, making her jump a little bit, and she saw a text from Veronica asking her to go down to the student coffee shop. Perhaps her friend hadn’t gotten much done with her last minute attempts for studying.

She chuckled to herself and got up, smoothing out her dark blue skirt and slipped into some flats, making sure to remember her room key as she walked out of the dorm. It didn’t take long to get down to the exit of the building, and it was even shorter of a time to get to the coffee shop. Veronica waved her over to where Chris was sitting down as well.

“I thought you were staying in Bend!” Juliet exclaimed, hugging him.

Chris grinned, “Well, I am, but I had to see my two favorite ladies before school started up.”

College was going to work out just fine. Everything was.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it took me forever to update this, but I finally figured out how to finish the story off! This is the first story I've ever finished, so this is a huge milestone. I've also been considering creating a sequel, but that will be a long while from now. If that happens, I'll post an update here, but until then, thank you so much for reading my story. It's been quite a time and I love all you guys who have even just lurked on chapters. I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing.


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